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Should I see this through to the end?


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So not too long ago I posted a topic about how during my class reunion I sorta asked someone out and how I was kinda psyched about it because well it's the first time in my life that I've had the guts to ask someone out and was in a position to do so. Yeah alcohol was a great help to me in making that moment possible because it made me apathetic to rejection or acceptance and to be honest it was more of a spur of the moment decision.


I didn't ask for her number because I told her I would get it off of Facebook. The thing is that it's been two weeks already and I've so far made only one attempt to call her back and all I got was her voicemail and I promptly hung up when it came on and actually felt relieved. Funny I thought it wouldn't be a problem considering that despite all my fears towards women I've called girls before and I felt that I've gotten comfortable enough to call them without any problems. But I know that women have this unspoken time limit when you are supposed to call somebody or they just write you off as "not interested". This is the part where things get even weirder.


The thing is that this is not the first time I tried to ask this woman out. In fact the last time I tried it was when we last met five years ago during our last class reunion (this was the 10th anniversary reunion) and back then it was she who came to talk to me (I was so shy in school that some even began to think that I was mute) I told her back then that I would call her and that we should of have hung out sometime and I did call her once but as I recall the conversation was really short and meaningless so I never called again nor did we ever hang out. For the record, she was one of the hottest, most popular and smartest girls in the class while I was just that weird kid with no friends who used to hang out in the hallways wondering aimlessly during lunchtime.


I guess my real question here is whether I should try to call her again even if two weeks passed and ask her out even though I have plenty of reasons to believe that it's not meant to be. Before I tried to call her I've sent her messages through Facebook not related to any possible date and after I sent her that one message with the links to some of my writings she has not returned any of my subsequent messages. This has given me reason to believe that perhaps after reading my stuff she decided that I was a misanthropic psychopath (yes I am a misanthrope but I'm not psycho) and she's just trying to ignore me although logic argues that considering her lack of activity on her profile perhaps she hasn't had time to write back nor has she taken me off of her friends list.


Another con is the fact that perhaps there can never be anything between us because we are seemingly extreme polar opposites. She was the popular girl in school, I was not, she finished college and had a good job while after 7 fruitless and depressing years in college I dropped out and now I'm basically a jobless undereducated bum. She's happy, has lots of friends and a social life while the closest thing I have to friends are my fellow writers on the site I write for and aside from the major age difference between me and most of them, we all live in different parts and have never met in person. I don't go out often because my country sucks and I can't connect with anybody. None of the things that interest me interest anybody else around here. She seems like the person that sees a glass half full, I see it half empty. I think you get the picture.


You know I wanted to ask her out to see the new Batman movie with me, but now that I think about it I think it would be better if I go alone because then I wouldn't have to worry about wasting money I don't have on taking her out afterwards. I could just see the movie then come right back home and not worry about the gas.


Yes I have lived for 28 years as a single male and never had a girlfriend, three dates and am still a virgin. Yes I would like to experience what the whole "having a significant other" thing feels like if only out of necessity to satisfy my all too human urge for companionship even though I still think most people are idiots and can't stand them. I plan on changing my own fortune and going back to study (although this time it will be a trade because let's face it, college degrees these days in anything other than medicine or law are only worth the paper they are printed on) but only because being poor sucks and my idea of a somewhat perfect life would be working on something I love and being my own boss so that I could work as long as I want then go home to zone out in front of a TV playing video games or watching movies or spend hours in front of a monitor PvPing on EVE Online or something and perhaps traveling around Europe to see my favorite bands play because unfortunately my favorite music genres and bands are all European. Dedicate myself to the only thing I'm apparently good at which is writing and write that post-modern epic tale of loserdom that is going to be my memoirs and hopefully gain a cult following amongst other like minded individuals. I don't see a woman in there and if there is, she will have to be as screwed up and cynical and bitter as I am. Misery loves company.


So should I still try and call her and ask her out or am I right in being paranoid and she's giving me all the signals to fvck off?

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I think that you're overthinking it. Call her up, the worst thing that will happen is she'll say no. Or if you really feel that it's a waste of gas money, then don't call her. But, iIf you're only telling yourself that it's better not to bother wasting money etc. because you fear that she'll reject you...rejection isn't the end of the world and it happens to everyone at some point.


If you really think you'd like to take her out, ask, then you don't have to wonder "what if".

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If we do go out, I think it will end up playing out like that scene in Taxi Driver where Robert DeNiro's character takes out his dream girl to the movies but she ends up walking out in disgust because he's so inexperienced with women that he thought she would be interested in seeing a porn movie.

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Well hopefully you know enough not to take her to a porn movie lol.


Try not to be so down on yourself...I'm sure you have alot to offer someone. Everyone has different tastes...you sound intelligent and have some aspirations that many girls would find interesting and different. The only way you're going to start to feel more comfortable around women is to gain some experience and the only way to do that is to put yourself out there. You'll probably face some rejection...we all do but you just have to learn to roll with it. If someone rejects you, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you...it only means you're not the right fit for that particular person. Not doing anything at all or isolating yourself out of fear keeps you safe, but safe can be boring and lonely. Don't you want more out of life?

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