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Moving Forward - Facebook Trouble


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When I came to college three years ago, my HS girlfriend totally broke my heart and didn't even know it. Even when, within my college breaks, I tried to console some type of friendship or understanding between one another, she would totally reject the notion that her actions ever would've hurt me and that I was wrong. This is three years ago, and it's in the past. I cut her off from communication. Since then (since the time I've been trying to make sense of a girl's presense in my life) I have gone through multiple relationships which have gone horribly wrong. I have taken the position that girls are only "used" which doesn't get far, and if it does get far it goes nowhere fast. I've learned from these mistakes too


She recently has tried to contact me by "facebooking" me. When I was facebook friends with her (my class is the first real "college facebook" generation), I constantly checked hers and I seemingly made my facebook around what I though would impress her into being with me again (I was fricking nuts back then). This is when I saw a problem, and removed the problem from my life, or my facebook. Now that she has facebooked me, I have that rush of excitement and emotion (my stupid love emotion) that she gave to me in life, which ultimately, in the past, led me to disaster and depression.


It's been two years since I've ever contacted her. She tried facebooking me earlier last year, and I rejected it before.


In one hand I want to believe that accepting her as a facebook friend will bring back that joyous relationship and personality (which I though she had) back into my life. On the other, I don't believe that she's much more than foolsgold that I need to get over, and I should continue my NC crusade. Currently I am in no relationship, and I want to believe accepting her would maybe spark something, or maybe she grew up in three years, or maybe she still has feelings!! But I don't think that's true at all, because it's just a pointless Facebook friend request. If she really cared, I think she would try other contact methods as well. Any thoughts, personal experiences, suggestions on my situation?

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oye, so much is going through my head right now. Part of me wants to friend her and look deeper into her profile to see what she has been up to lately - to see if she is still with her boyfriend and to see her pictures - what she looks like, ect. The other part of me wants to not oblige her by rejecting her facebook request. I want her to realized the extent of pain that she caused me in my life, and by accepting her facebook request would me, "hey, it's ok, you're doing just find the way you treated people in the past." I don't think I have ever gotten it accross to her the way that she made me feel regardless how how I hurt her, and honestly I don't think she cares that deep for me.


I could also accept her facebook for a short amount of time, look at her profile, learn about what she has been up to, and then reject her. But then that would be like a "one night stand" sort of thing, and I've learned that those hurt people and I would essentially be using her. I want to stay on principle, and do what is right.


I don't think she's the type of person to ever accept that she ever did something wrong to me either, that she is so proud that she couldn't ever realize she did something wrong. She doesn't care about my feelings. Man, oh man I am sounding like whimp! This was two years ago.


Any other thoughts?!

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No, she's probably just interested in seeing what is up with an old friend. I don't think a relationship will start from this. For all you know, you could add her and find out she is already involved with someone in a committed relationship. Unless you feel ready to know what she's up to and can handle being platonic, don't add her.

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I don't think you should add her. I don't think you are really over her. It might lead to you obsessing over her profile. You should just forget about her and stay away from her until you are sure that you no longer have any sort of feelings for her.

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