DakotaSkye Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 Ok, my boyfriend's behaviors really drive me crazy sometimes, and this one I really cannot understand. I'm just interested in knowing how many people also deal with guys (or girls) who also act this way in regards to paying for food, entertainment, etc. My boyfriend and I generally try to share the responsibilities of paying at restaurants, or for bowling or going out to movies or whatever. I'm not the kind of girl who thinks it's the guy's responsibility to financial sustain his girlfriend. I have a job, and I enjoy taking him out every once in a while. Recently, however, I admit that he has paid for more of our outings than I have. But here's one example as to why this is: One Friday, we decided to go to dinner. I told him before hand that I was planning on paying, so I figured it wouldn't be a big deal. But when the check came, he immediately grabbed it and stuck his credit card in it. I was still eating, so I was planning on waiting until I was finished to pay, obviously. But he always makes a huge show about it when we're out, often stating, "I win," trying to pass it off as playful. If we're renting a movie or bowling, and he happens to get his money out before I do, he pays. I feel like I shouldn't have to play quick draw every time we're in this situation. He appears to be playful about it, but he's really not. I used to think it was really sweet that he was so willing to pay (especially since my last boyfriend refused to pay for anything), but now I know it isn't willingness. He does it so he can have something to hold against me later. Like if we go to dinner and later he acts like a jerk, and I get upset about it, he'll say something sarcastic like, "Well, I guess that's what I get for taking you to dinner." Like taking me to dinner automatically means that I have to put up with anything he throws at me the rest of the night. Recently, we were on a walk and, for some reason, he "jokingly" brought up the fact that if he was single, he would have probably saved thousands of dollars that he's spent on me over the years. I put "jokingly" in quotes because I think we can all deduce the true intention of that statement; he wanted me to feel bad about it. So at that moment, I decided (and I told him this) that I will no longer let him pay for anything for me ever again. I told him that it would be easier for me just to pay because if I let him, I end up having to pay for it later in the form of rude comments and guilt trips. I told him it wasn't worth it. Lately he's been saying, "Good grief" every time I do/say something that he thinks is an overreaction, so that was the response I got. But really, I'm not going to take that from him. If it's such a chore for him to pay, than forget it. I just hate that he tries so hard to "win" at the cash register when he really doesn't find any sort of victory in it whatsoever. Just the victory of holding it over my head like a never-ending rain cloud. Am I doing the right thing by refusing to let him pay for me? I thought, unlike my last relationship, that we could have an equal, MATURE relationship, but if this is the only way I can be free from snide remarks about "not doing my share," then so be it. Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.