How Do I Tie Up the Loose Ends?

[Genji05]

Hi everyone, Thanks for all the help and advice you've all given me in dealing with my ex-girlfriend. I've since realized that she's changed, and I can't love her the way she is. I just have a few questions left.

 

First, I don't really know what to do with the Christmas present I got for her. We were still on somewhat good terms when I got it. I still do care for her too. It's a pretty personal present, so I don't think I can just return it. Should I give it to her? If I do how should I do it? Should I just leave it at her door, or should I try to give it to her in person? Since this might be my last chance to ever do anything for her or contact her, should I include a little letter reminding her of all the good times we've had? I'd like to end this whole thing on a good note, if possible.

 

Also, I got an e-mail from her yesterday. She still seems to think that I'm still hopelessly in love with her, and just sitting around waiting for her to come back to me. That's not the case at all anymore. It hasn't been for a while now. I'm not sure if I should reply to her e-mail and try to clarify this, or if I should just ignore it and let my silence speak for me.

 

I still do care for her, and maybe one day, I'd like to re-establish a friendship with her. I need to show her that I'm moving on, but I still care for her. Any opinions would be much appreciated. Thanks again, everyone for all the help you've given me through this whole thing!

 

-Genji05

[Ebowski]

It seems like you know that your relationship with her is over. It sucks to know something like this, but everybody has to face it.

 

If you really do want to move on, I would return the gift without ever telling her you go one for her.

 

A good act is to give it to a female friend of yours. That is if you think she would feel comfortable with it. It's a good act that gets yourself into gear to move on.

[tough_girl]

I think you shouldn't give that present to her since she has misinterpreted before. Giving her the present would only rise her hopes for your relationship.

 

As for the e-mail, I think you should reply it or else she might think that you can't face her because she found out. Let her down gently, don't drop her from the sky. Maybe you could end the e-mail with ' We can still be friends'.

[Genji05]

Hi. Thanks for the replies. I guess I shouldn't give her the present. It would probably just make her feel guilty about breaking up with me. Plus it would lead her to believe that I'm still trying to get her back, which I'm not.

 

Tough Girl, I'm still not sure if I should e-mail her or not. I don't think I need to worry about letting her down gently; she's the one that dropped me from the sky. She's been acting really rude and inconsiderate toward me since she broke up with me. I'm just not sure if I should explicitly tell her that I'm done with her and deflate her ego a bit, or if I should just be silent and let her draw her own conclusions.

 

-Genji05

[Ebowski]

A woman's ego does not work like a man's.

[tough_girl]

Well, Genji05, I don't know whether you should e-mail her or not either. But don't worry about what I said, just follow your heart and do what you think is right.

 

Though I agree with Ebowski that a woman's ego doesn't work like a man's, I would be totally upset if a guy would have done that to me. Since, she wasn't very nice to you, you could do that if you want. Tell her off for once.

 

However, you sound like a very nice guy and would not be one to hurt a girl for nothing. So, you could let her learn her own lesson and hope her consiousness bring her back to earth. But if she doesn't learn her lesson, then you should drop her from the sky, just like she did you.

 

Well, the choice is yours. I hope you make a good choice but remember there is no right answer in life. No one is perfect. Life isn't perfect but it's our reponsibilty to live it to the fullest. Good Luck!