I'm afraid I can never completely satisfy him.

[Lyrisae]

To start things off, I want to make it known that I think porn and masturbating are two very normal, healthy things to do. In fact, I do so myself, with my trusty B.O.B. And I've never minded before the fact that my boyfriend very actively looks at things on the Internet and masturbates to them. (I can't really call what he looks at "porn" however. He likes to watch girls shake it in Youtube videos. He has a huge folder full of butt-jiggling. He's an ass man, what can I say).

 

For the record, we've also been going out for roughly five months now. It's a fairly new relationship, but so far I'm absolutely loving things. Except for one thing - lately I've noticed that he looks at porn every single night. Sometimes twice in one day. Or maybe even three times a day. And the clincher? Last night he and I had really amazing, passionate sex. It was honestly the most connected I've ever felt to a man before. It was wonderful. But...I fell asleep before he did. And this morning, when I got on the computer, I saw that after I zonked out he had gotten online and masturbated to more of his Youtube videos.

 

I'll be honest; it kind of hurts my feelings. I don't mind the occasional, or even frequent porn use, but right after we make mindblowing love to one another? He told me after our lovemaking last night that he felt it was incredibly wonderful and passionate as well. But now I'm wondering if just me, will ever be enough to satisfy him. I'd like at least one night where we have sex, and he doesn't want something more. It worries me for the future, long-term - will he be able to settle down with just one woman, and be happy with making love to her and her only in the years to come?

 

I don't know, maybe I'm making too much out of things. It just really shocked me to see he had felt the need to masturbate last night, after our incredible round of sex. I just want to feel like I'm satisfying him, you know? It makes me feel sub-par somehow.

[Excalibur]

Look - you had great sex and in you it released alot of emotionally regulated hormones. So you "feel so close, so connected" as a result of the passionate sex. You were having the Harlinquin Romance Novel sex - where every action he took or word he said - you read into it "love, desire, appreciation, adoration."

 

Woo - hoo - great for you.

 

 

For all yoou know he was having horn dog, down and dirty, let me make her squeal sex.....and it doesn't matter.

 

Even in the same experience - you're not having the same perceptions.

 

And then he went and looked at porn - doesn't mean he wasn't satisfied with the sex with you...and I think you're possibly assuming that he watches the porn in order to masturbate but he doesn't.

 

He watches the porn because watching hot girls jiggle and wiggle turns him on - the result of being turned on is jacking off. But he doesn't get on the sites because he's already hard - and needing a visual while he's playing lube the sausage with the banana peel.

[IMAbadman]

Excalibur summed it up pretty well. I think you may be reading into this a bit.

 

Hey for play why not shake your booty for him... I'll bet he'd much rather watch you then anything else.

[JeckyllNHyde]

i can see where the original poster is coming from to be honest.

though i am ok with my bf looking at porn (i also find it healthy IF we aren't having sex for instance) i would also be a bit miffed if i wasn't able to satisfy him, and we where both kind of "living out" diffrent feelings during sex: me loving every moment, and him thinking "this is great.. but i cant wait to check out the video's."

 

i dont have much experience with guys who watch too much porn, etc but could he be addicted to porn?

i dunno.. i'm all for porn and have watched, but that's when i dont have a bf. it's ok to watch if I do (thought I never feel the need). if someone is masterbating and needing it every night (2-3 times) on top of sex, it doesn't sound ok to me.

 

i agree that maybe you should try shaking it for him?

but it wouldn't surprise me if even after that he goes and switches on the pc. but it's worth a try of course. you never know if he may love it.

[IMAbadman]

JeckyllNHyde you made some great points. You know they say a lot of people become addicted to porn. Maybe not so much a physical addiction but more of a emotional/fantasy addiction.

 

Personally I’ll take the warm and wet over the cold, dry flat screen any day.

[Taylor527]

I had the same situation you were in, kinda. My boyfriend and I had sex the night before, I went to take a shower the next morning and walked in on him jacking off to porn. He was sleeping when I left the room to shower and I come back and hes wide awake jacking off. I felt so bad.. I was thinking in my head "what?!?! we had sex right before we went to bed and the next morning right when you wake up your already jacking off?" I was upset..

 

I dont really have advice for you... But about the one girl for years to come question, that really (i think) depends on how many girls he has ever had sex with before you. My now ex boyfriend was with me for 4 years.. i was his first sex partner and guess the reason he left me "he wants to see what else is out there" so just be careful with newbies to sex.. its never is a good thing. lol. Looking at porn and jacking off has nothing to do with how committed he will be to you.

[northwoods]

Excalibur summed it up pretty well. I think you may be reading into this a bit.

 

Hey for play why not shake your booty for him... I'll bet he'd much rather watch you then anything else.

 

And I'd bet he'd still go check out YouTube after she falls asleep. Maybe his hormones are just that active.

 

OP - its something you just have to either accept or walk away from. This is who he is.