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Guys, i'm an active reader of these forums and they have helped me get through some really dark times. But now, i really need your help on what might seem something quite small but is really important to me because i think it will shape the future of any friendship i might have with my ex.


Its his birthday this weekend, and i really want to send him something, not a text or email or a card but a small present, something thoughtful that i know he has always wanted (more of a novelty present than a grand present). And i want him to open it and smile and think ah, that is from my ex and although we broke up 8 months ago (we were going out for 3 years, there's been NC for the whole time, except a couple of email exchanges 4 months ago) she still cares about me and think about me and then i want him to go on and enjoy the rest of his birthday without thinking about me, or getting in contact (until next birthday of course).


The general advice on these forums seems to be - dont do it. Move on and get over it. But i think my story is different because i dont want to get back together or use this as a springboard for contact, i just want to send it as a gesture that i still care and think fondly of him. In this case, would it be ok to send?


(We broke up because he wanted to go back to his country and i didnt want to emigrate)

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If you are 100% sure that there is no other motive underlying sending this gift, and if you are sure that his response (or lack thereof) will not affect your current happiness, I say go ahead and do it. The thing is that there is no way in telling how he will react. It is not about how he will spend his b-day or if he will respond. It is just about what your intentions are.

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