I Need Advice

[notmyself9]

By boyfriend is having bedroom problems and in order to solve them, he does not want to have sex for a week. We have done this before and it kind of worked, but not for long. When we do not have sex for a week, I feel like I am being punished, that I am on restriction. I lose my confidence, I feel unwanted, unloved. My sex drive is MUCH greater than his, I would love to have sex twice a day, he would be ok with once every three or four days. I am falling apart over this. Any advice???

[xXPusHedAsiDeXx]

I personally used to have a lower sex drive than my girlfriend. What I found helpful was to get plenty of exercise, eat healthier to an extent (depending on your boyfriend's eating habits) and show plenty of affection to each other.

 

The only thing you can do for the time being is talk to him, and try seducing him in a surprising way, make the atmosphere sexy for him. I guarantee he will be alot more into sex than usual, because there is nothing sexier to a man (in my opinion) than a woman taking lead and seducing the man.

 

Good luck!

[notmyself9]

I do make it incredibly sexy for him. That is part of the problem. I am ten years younger than him and I am very free and open in bed, he says he loves that. When we have sex, he has to do everything he can from cumming to soon. The more I get into the sex, the harder it is for him not to cum. I have tried to cum faster, but I enjoy the sex to much to rush it.

[xXPusHedAsiDeXx]

Maybe you can both look through the internet to find something more sexually experimental, try and find out if he has any sort of fantasies he'd like to play out. Just have a long talk with him, get your feelins accross because he won't know how you feel fully until you talk to him and be completely open about how you're feeling about this.

 

Communication is vital in a relationship, it's what makes a relationship tick.

[arwen]

I'd try to solve this in another way than refraining from sex all together. In fact, I find it a bit worrisome that this is his way of trying to 'solve' it. In my opinion, he tries to avoid and walk around the issue instead of talking about it honestly. It could be that he enjoys other things than you, maybe a longer foreplay would be more satisfying for both of you. But it's difficult to deal with big differences in libido.

 

It seems to me that he is not satisfied with 3/4 times a week- it seems that he could do with less and that this is somehow the maximum, whereas for you it's probably the minimum (at this stage of the relationship). Could this be the case? If this is to change, you'd better find a way to get the truth about his needs. He may feel embarrassed to tell you and hide by not having sex for a while, and then pushing it to his maximum. That will exhaust him, and you too.