Blinking101 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Well for me I can get hard pretty easy when I'm alone and all. But with a new girlfriend I sometimes feel uncomfortable and can't really get hard, I worry about is it big enough, does my body look ok, etc... etc... Is this common? Or is it just stress making it where it will go hard then soft then hard then soft again...? Just want to make sure I don't have a problem down there. Link to comment
Cardinal Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 You only have psychological evidence of dysfunction. If you had a physical problem, you wouldn't be able to get it up alone. Link to comment
Blinking101 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 You only have psychological evidence of dysfunction. If you had a physical problem, you wouldn't be able to get it up alone. So pretty much just chill out, be happy with my self and not worry about anything huh? Should I just stay positive, like tell my self positive things to keep me motivated? Link to comment
LisS1001 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Well, i dont know if its common. But my last boyfriend had a similar problem, once we got more into and did more stuff it got easier for him. Talk to your girl about it, she may just need to do more to get you "in the mood" Link to comment
Loki71 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 Or is it just stress making it where it will go hard then soft then hard then soft again...? I would say bingo. Stress can be your worst enemy when it comes to arousal. Link to comment
Cardinal Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 So pretty much just chill out, be happy with my self and not worry about anything huh? Should I just stay positive, like tell my self positive things to keep me motivated? From a psychological standpoint a few things have helped me: 1) Experience. The longer you are with her, the more accustomed to the act you will become. 2) I found it best not to care about my erection. Keeping the mindset that it doesn't matter to me was the only thing that removed the anxiety (that and a shot of viagra, but I digress). To make that concept work in reality, perform sexual acts without worrying about the erection itself. No erection is required for oral sex. You can send her to the moon and back with your tongue. When she gives you a blowjob just sit back, relax and don't bother with whether you get an erection or not. When you get comfortable with the blowjobs, it is just a matter of inserting versus her using her mouth. Being a guy that has had this problem before, receiving a little oral is about the best thing she can do to help. It provide perfect and ideal physical stimulation. You aren't required to move during it. So you won't lose an erection by shifting position physically. Just don't change from that confident, relaxed state you enjoy when receiving a blowjob. If you notice any focus on your erection, take a mental step back and revert to the zone where you just enjoy it. Then move forward when ready. You won't get over it completely in a single day, but you'll get there. So don't give yourself a time constraint (allow at least an extra half hour or hour for any issues that might come up). You have a wall up mentally at this point. Your cannon hasn't made a dent in it. So just walk around the wall and proceed from the other side. Link to comment
hear_her_roar Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 I'm positive that this is a common thing, both from what past flings have said during the initial stages of "puppy love" and guy friends. It's really performance anxiety... it's far more common than you think, and I believe it's entirely natural! When you really like a person, it is normal to worry about whether you're good enough for them, and that goes the same for sex as it does for other things. (And believe me, girls experience it too, just not in as obvious a way.) Honestly, it should go away once you're more comfortable around the girl you're with. In the meantime, keep repeating positive affirmations to yourself. Most guys aren't porn star big, and if you're worried about size or something else that either cannot be helped or you're not good at, try focusing on the things you ARE good at. Thinking about the things you're confident with in bed can help you gain a confidence in other areas. Best of luck! Link to comment
luckyyy Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 This is all too common, you should definitely bring it up with the girl. The best thing to do is tell her to take the lead as this will make you feel a lot more relaxed. Link to comment
LostInFlorida Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 sounds like stagefright. It'll pass...... Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted July 10, 2008 Share Posted July 10, 2008 its all in your Cabezza (head) man. Your worrying so much your making mr limpy happen. I had that problem time and time when i was about to score with a hottie but eventually i just got over it. Just keep in your head that you got the biggest wangus in the world and she digs ya.. haha. hey, she had to have dug you in the first place to sleep with you right?? the hardest part is already done. Link to comment
Blinking101 Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 Yeah. Sometimes when I am by my self masterbaiting I lose the hard also. Is this a disorder? Or am I just sykeing my self out, just being down about my self etc...? I've been telling my self, I got a big tool, etc...,etc... and its been some what helping Link to comment
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