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Issues with my Baby Daddy


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Ok, I've posted here before... and my life seems so hectic sometimes, but here we go!


The father of my baby and I are not together. He was verbally abusive and I ended it. We still talk, but only about my doctor's appointments, what they tell me, due dates... the typical baby stuff. And I keep my personaly life out of our conversations.


This weekend I was in my hometown, where he lives, visiting family for the holiday when I ran into some old friends. One of my exes from high school was with them. He and I get along pretty well and we have no interest in eachother what so ever, but my baby daddy saw this and decided to confront me about it as if we were still together.


He also gets mas because I still hang out and talk to a guy that I went on a few dates with. We gave it a shot, it didn't feel right since we had been friends before hand and decided to remain just friends. He wants to tell me about how he saw us at a restaurant together and how he felt so jealous and wanted to kick this guy's butt.


Each time he confronts me with this, I remind him that even though I am having his baby, we are not together and he cannot control my personal life. I feel that my only obligation to him is having a healthy baby. It's none of his business who I date or don't date. And who I talk to and don't talk to. Am I wrong for thinking this way? I may be having a baby but I'm not dead! I still deserve to have a love life, whether it's with him or not. But he tells our friends about it an makes me out to be the bad person in this situation. Am I wrong here??

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Guys go into a protective mode when they're SO's are carrying their child. It's human nature.


But of course you deserve to have a life now that your separated. I'm just saying that in part it's hormonal, much like you're going through changes men do too.

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If he is telling this to your friends to try and make you out to be the bad person - let him. Anyone with half a brain who knows the situation (which your friends do I'm sure) will only think he is a moron when he comes complaining. You two aren't together and he is trying to make you out to be a bad person for talking to other men? Oh yeah, that's lot of moral high ground he's standing on right there....

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I think he thinks if he pushes me enough we will get back together. I understand that what I do bothers him, and he's trying to talk to me about it to help control his anger, but I have a life too and it doesn't revolve around him anymore.


When we broke up, I told him that if he would take anger management and maybe get some counseling, I would reconsider us being together, but it would take a lot of work on his part and a lot of time. I'm not going to accept him saying he has changed basically over night. I've heard it before and fell for it like an idiot, and I'm not doing it again.


Maybe he's just trying tohelp his chances in some twisted way??

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He's trying to control you. If anything like this ever happens again, I think you should just firmly remind him that you two aren't a couple any longer, and that your love life is none of his business. Period. End of story. I get the feeling that as long as you let him intrude on your personal life - he will. You need to set firm boundaries and stick to them.

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Why are you allowing him to remain in your life? If you have no obligation to him, why does he get to play the role of the "baby daddy"? Just because he's the father? It's your own fault, and if you're not prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions, not the least of which is having a baby "just because", then maybe you should re-evaluate your decisions.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Maybe I want my child to know his father. And I don't feel that it is right to keep a man away from his child. I grew up with a mom that did that and I know how it hurt me as well to grow up without a father. It's not something I'm going to put my kid through. Maybe you shoudl re-evaluate what you say. We all have different reasons for doing what we do. Mine is because he wants to be in his kid's life and I'm not going to take that opportunity away from him and I'm not going to take a father away from an innocent child. He's better than most men. He WANTS to know what's going on with my pregnancy and what he can do to help. Most men I know that are not with the one they impregnated could care less about that baby. And mine is willing to stand up and be a father and I'm supposed to tell him to piss off?? I don't think so.

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