luckyyy Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Hello, this is all a bit random but I've been with my gf for 9 months now (she is my first). We are both 21. Now she rarely talks about her past but I know she has had a few boyfriends (5 maybe?) but whenever anything about her past comes up (It can be ANYTHING) it seems to worry me. It's really weird because I don't know what worries me. I hate the thought that she used to have a boyfriend before me, how stupid is that because shes with me right? All her ex's were complete idiots from what I have gathered and she tells me that she was just young and is probably wiser now. Can someone tell me why my gf's past always bothers me? How many of you used to be like this and if so how did you stop thinking about these stupid things... Thanks! Link to comment
emmie_g Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 hey I used to have this problem and still do sometimes. I think the best thing to do is concentrate on your future together. And think to yourself she's with you not anyone else. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 maybe cause it's her past and it isn't who she is now. just guessing. Link to comment
george237 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Let me know if this is your issue: You were a virgin she wasn't. In the back of your mind you think that she is comparing you to the 5 other guys she slept with. This bothers you because you think that since you are inexperienced you don't compete with them. I personally would think it was a bit odd if a girl I was dating didn't have a past. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Let me know if this is your issue: You were a virgin she wasn't. In the back of your mind you think that she is comparing you to the 5 other guys she slept with. This bothers you because you think that since you are inexperienced you don't compete with them. I personally would think it was a bit odd if a girl I was dating didn't have a past. By making that statement, you have now basically implied to the OP that you think it is odd that he doesn't have a past. It is perfectly fine not to have a past...everyone starts somewhere...and there is absolutely nothing "odd" about someone not having a past....it is what it is. To the OP, she has had a past and you really can't do anything about that...if you care about her and have a great connection that is what counts. If you are concerned about her past due to a difference in morals and values then you have to make a choice of whether or not her past is a deal breaker for you. If you are concerned about her past because of your own insecurities then this is something you need to deal with...if she really cares about you then everyone else in the past will pale in comparison to you. Link to comment
george237 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Sorry I should have been more frank I was talking about girls my age. 25 Link to comment
Excalibur Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Experiences in the past and how you intepret and learn from them make you into who you are - be glad she's had a past - so that you have the her you know in the present. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Experiences in the past and how you intepret and learn from them make you into who you are - be glad she's had a past - so that you have the her you know in the present. exactly. beat me to that typing ex. great explanation. Link to comment
Scorpion Fury Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 It's that you love her and her being your first, you can't imagine yourself being with anyone other than her. thereforeee, you can't imagine her being with anyone else either, and think she must still feel something for these guys because she did at one time? As a girl with a past, let me assure you that I had been with several guys before my current boyfriend, and want no one but him. I look back at people I have been with in the past, and would be completely turned off by them in the present or future. Link to comment
luckyyy Posted July 12, 2008 Author Share Posted July 12, 2008 Experiences in the past and how you intepret and learn from them make you into who you are - be glad she's had a past - so that you have the her you know in the present. It's that you love her and her being your first, you can't imagine yourself being with anyone other than her. thereforee, you can't imagine her being with anyone else either, and think she must still feel something for these guys because she did at one time? As a girl with a past, let me assure you that I had been with several guys before my current boyfriend, and want no one but him. I look back at people I have been with in the past, and would be completely turned off by them in the present or future. Thanks to these two posts. Her past does not effect our relationship. It is just something that has been on my mind ever since I got into my first relationship with her. I was making this thread just to see other peoples point of views to help me get a better understanding. Thank you guys /Thread Link to comment
fluke2000 Posted July 12, 2008 Share Posted July 12, 2008 Mate, if she doesn't talk about her past bf's it's a god send, you should be counting your lucy stars. I have just split with my gf 'because' she wouldn't shut the f**k up about her ex. I did have a gf before who never talked about her past marriage. I asked her why she never did, she replied "out of respect for you". Mate, sounds like you got a good one don't mess it up! You really shouldn't be concerned about past bf's, what did you expect? that she lived in a cupboard until now? I am saying this as a 38 year old, when i was 21 i think i was the same. You need to put your mature head on!!! All the best and dont screw it up over 'nothing'. Cheers f2000 Link to comment
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