Relationship dilemma

[Knownsecret]

Hi all, hope you could offer advice on a particular problem of mine.

 

I am in a relationship with a girl who I have known for the past 5-6 years. We got together during school but broke up after we both went to our universities. About 2 years later after much chatting we decided to have another go, and the next year or so was fantastic. We were in love with each other, liked each other immensely everything was great.

 

I was a year behind at university and have just graduated after spending 4 years away. The last three years of university I put immense amounts of effort into getting my ideal job, I achieved great grades and commendations in work. To my joy I have just been accepted into the career I wanted.

 

I am currently working voluntarily as a manager in the organisation I wish to work for full time, so have commitments reducing my spare time. On top of this the last couple of months since leaving university has been hectic, handling increased responsibility since promotion, applying for a career and keeping in with my friends and of course our relationship.

 

Since leaving university we have had more arguments over little things than over the whole time we have known each other. They mainly concern me putting my life and career above hers and not giving her enough time or attention. Throughout university I helped her through death of a close family member, her brother's illness, her upset and stress at university and other concerns. To say that I put myself first thereforeee offended me after all the time I gave her whilst I had masses of work and deadlines on a law degree.

 

She is constantly worrying about me achieving things whilst she is stuck in a dead end job, and thinks that I will leave her for someone who is more successful and ambitious.Of course I spent the time reassuring her that this was not the case, that I would be with her the whole way.

 

When we first got together I was attracted by her strong, outgoing, enthusiastic and colourful character. It now seems that she has become depressed, bored and weak in comparison. I don't hide away from helping in any way I can, but without trying to sound bad, the constant negative outlook is draining me and making me worry about how I can rearrange my life to suit hers.

 

On top of this whilst at university I had a great friend throughout my time who was happily in a relationship with a boyfriend. In the last 3 months of uni she broke her relationship off and was single. In these months we became even closer, of course I denied all impulses to cheat.

 

We still talk now and I feel that she is fantastic. It pains me to say that I wish I had met her earlier. We fit together like a glove, I can let myself go with her, go out on nights out and have a brilliant time. We have a unique understanding of each other. When I'm with her it feels as if I'm alive again, I can be myself and not feel tied down.

 

It's got to the point where I have to make a decision whether to jump ship or lose the opportunity. The problem is I am sure that ending my current relationship will leave my girlfriend devastated, she constantly reminds me of the fact that she couldn't live without me. I have a strong bond with her family and they are convinced that we are together for life also.

 

I have to make a decision between keeping a stable but struggling relationship and losing someone who I am convinced is perfect for me, or getting into a new relationship and causing a great deal of upset to both myself, my girlfriend and her family.

 

If any of you have read all of this, thanks, I hope you could give me some helpful advice on my situation.

[a_lifters_life]

Hi all, hope you could offer advice on a particular problem of mine.

 

I am in a relationship with a girl who I have known for the past 5-6 years. We got together during school but broke up after we both went to our universities.

 

Just out of curiosity why did u break up after uni. ?