slight confusion,looking for unbiased advice once again

[happyone]

I have been separated from my ex for 5 months now, we have conversed on occasion which has gone well. I thought we had moved on to being friends, yet we were to get together over a week ago, had planned it a week in advance, and nothing. A mutual friend said she was perhaps listenening to others opinions, she was under the impression we were doing ok as friends and had thought the same as me.

I have not contacted my ex since that time, but am inevetiably feeling confused as in all of our conversations she had indicated she really wanted to be good friends hang out and get together,

Do I just walk away or do I call and ask "friends or what"

[bdub]

I'd just try to walk away and start healing. Trying a friendship too soon after may be too hard resulting in erosion of the friendship that may be able to form when you are both healed. Just my honest opinion.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

I suggest you walk away. As nice as it is to be friends. I really don't think that happens for several years down the road after everyone has moved on and had the proper time to heal. Once you have had sex with someone and care deeply for them it always changes everything. I'm friends with one of my ex's today. It took about 3 years after we broke things off. We stayed in touch from time to time and checked on each other. And even today we get together a few times a year and have dinner and chat, exchange emails, talk on the cell. But even thought we are friends. It is not like having a friend close friend. We used to be close. But now things are on a much lighter side. It is all good, but it really takes sometime.

 

Kuhl

[neallo82288]

Well, things all depend on the attitudes of the parties involved. Yes, once you fall in love it is hard to leave a relaationship and just be friends, because atleast one person is thinnking about the relationship. If you know where you stand, then you will better be able to judge where you want the friendship to go. I have had sex with a friend of mine and we even started to go out, but things got tricky and we both decided to be just friends. This is the greatest friendship in my life. She has helped me through my rough break up and even the not so rough ones. I have helped her through her rough break up and the not so rough ones. We have a bond thaat has chased away potential relationships, because we are very close friends and will not give that up for anybody. So you must know that what you really want is friendship or more and can you live with just being friends with them. While I would like more, I know that our friendship is more important than anything and neither of us want to lose this special bond. As long as both parties can live with the decision of being friends than you can have a friendship with them, but if either party cannot live with that decision than your friendship will not amount to much.