How does NC make you feel?

[louhere]

All I am doing is waiting to hear from him! Counting down the days!

 

I miss him so much - want to know how he is - what he is doing - to find out what is happening with him.

 

It is frustrating and joyless to just wait. I am busy at work, socially but in the back of my mind always, is the hope he will contact or I will see him.

[coolbloke1978]

Counting down the days? When did he say he was going to contact you?

[Whiskers]

NC is supposed to be so you can work on yourself and separating you from a partner when a relationship has gone sour...if anything you should be counting the days till you are completely over him. If you have split from him and are waiting for him to come to his senses and wrap you in your arms telling you he loves you, then you might find yourself crushed.

It's usual to wonder what he is doing, where and who with when you split but the idea is not to nurture it and to instead get through it.

Are you expecting to hear from him?

Have you split?

XXXX

[louhere]

He has not said he will contact...I am just wishing he would.

 

We have been separated for a while i have been in LC since the split and in NC for about a month.

[christinesee]

All I am doing is waiting to hear from him! Counting down the days!

 

I miss him so much - want to know how he is - what he is doing - to find out what is happening with him.

 

It is frustrating and joyless to just wait. I am busy at work, socially but in the back of my mind always, is the hope he will contact or I will see him.

 

If your in NC and still hoping to hear from him.. then you will end up hurt.if he does not make contact. The point of NC is by having No contact your able to move past the relationship. I realize you miss him.. but you need to forget in order to move forward. Keep up with NC. Good luck.

[darkblue]

The whole point of NC is to expect no communication. Hence the name.

 

The reason that you are doing this is so that you can get over him, to heal, to realise you are your own person again - free with no strings attached.

 

It's self-defeating to hope he will get in touch.

[IMAbadman]

You're missing the point of NC. It's about helping you to heel. It's probably not going to make him come back to you.

[spion_kop]

I dont know what to make of NC. I've been on it for a good while, I think more than 2 months. Anyways, my ex still contacts me every now and then but I dont answer nor reply to any forms of communication.

 

I know exactly what she is going through. She is still selfish and immature. She feels that the whole world revolves around her and that whatever she wants she can get.

She left me for another man but that's fine because i know in her heart she does love me. Right now she is blinded with her new found freedom and independence, and wants to explore her possibilites.

 

Yea it's hard for me, i do think about her a lot (most bad than good) but I'm not sitting around wishing for her to come back. To be honest, the person who she has become, i wouldnt dare to even take her back. She needs to grow up a lot and even if that occurs within time..I may not even want her back.

 

How does this relate to NC? Well this is the whole purpose of NC. It slowly removes the bond made between you two and helps you to focus on yourself. You are removing your ex from the pedestal and putting yourself on it. Time does heal MOST wounds but not all of em. The scars still remain but they act as a reminder of why things happen the way they did.

 

NC is a tough task to keep up with but if you really love yourself you will go through with it. They left you in the dust and wanting them back makes you look foolish. If anything you hafta be the bigger/better person and take it all on the chin. If anything, this will and may reattract them to you, but this shouldnt be your goal rather a coincidence or a twist of fate.

 

Hope this clears things up

[LW4E]

You sound just like me, I don't even recognize my ex anymore, she's a totally different person, and at the moment, even if she wanted me back, I wouldn't take her back. She'd have to prove to me that she has grown up first.

 

Talk about juvenile behaviour, she left me for a guy she's never met in person and who lives in another continent... did I mention the fourteen year age difference and the fact that he doesn't want to fly out here to meet her nor will he pay for her trip out there to meet him... he sounds like a class act to me.

 

So far she's lost all of her friends over this, it's kinda funny to me.

[Nearwater]

Nc makes me feel weak, powerless and confused. I don't want to break it, but the thoughts in my head keep me from fully living my life. Because of our situation I sit

here in hope for and explanation, an apology or the reconciliation call, compounded my a birthday in 2 weeks. I have read every post about it and KNOW what it is supposed to do, but I am impatient.

[IMAbadman]

No contact is what you make of it. You can wallow in your self pity or you can choose to grow from it. It's your choice.

[Karmageddon]

but I am impatient.

 

Me too & I was technically the dumper, so that's why I come here instead. When I get frustrated I come here and talk to my peeps. See who needs what or throw something out that I need. Before long I am wrapped up in hearing about everyone else. It takes my mind off it for a while so I can cope & vent. Hopefully it does the same for you

[sine]

i've found it to be a really positive experience personally. there's something really tiring about chasing someone, running to someone in a position like this. when i pursue the hell out of someone, it also makes me feel like a creep. it makes me feel a lot of shame when i'm wounded by this person & running to them to help me. it's like getting shot by a mugger & then asking them to take you to the hospital.

 

luckily i haven't really done that, with the exception of one situation a month ago. i haven't really been able to say my peace, but if anything NC has allowed me to look at myself a lot more clearly and get to the roots of what caused my half of the breakup.

[LW4E]

Generally for me, No Contact has had its ups and downs. There's some days when I'm so happy just to be happy, knowing she's not around and I can still live a fully, happy life.

 

Then there's days like today, I just had a job interview go awry, and although I'm remaining optimistic about the options that are still available, a part of me still feels like crap. For some reason this is giving me the biggest urge to break NC and talk to my ex, but I'm resisting.

 

I figured this was probably because when we were together, I'd sometimes have bad, days... terrible days, and after all the crap, I would be able to visit her and she'd always make me feel better about whatever it was that was bothering me. I had to tell myself that it would not be the same if I broke No Contact and that I would just end up hurting after (I've learned from my past mistakes.) So right now I'm just looking anywhere I can for someone to talk to, because I'm so used to having her there to comfort me after something like this. I'll be fine though, I trust myself not to break it.