JustCallMeAce Posted July 9, 2008 Share Posted July 9, 2008 Oh, where to begin... I'm 20 years old and I've been working in Cleveland (600 miles from home) for the last three months and last week I got my first week home since I left. When I was home I spent most of each day with my best friend of five years, Eric and his g/f of 2 years, Brandy. For nearly 70% of the 2 years they've been together they fight and get frustrated with each other and I've always been there bending over backwards to help them get through it; usually it's Eric wanting to leave Brandy. Through all this Brandy and I have become rather close and I realized on my last day home how much I wished she was with me and not him. He doesn't appreciate her or how completely devoted she is to him. He always talks to me about how much he'd rather be with anyone but her and yet here I stand torn between two decisions. I want to help keep them together because that's what she wants but at the same time I so desperately want to tell her that I could love her so much more than he does; that for the longest time I've wanted to give her everything that she wishes he would give her. So here I am fighting to save a relationship that I wish would end. It's getting to the point where it almost hurts to be around them both. I'm sure most of you know how it feels to want to be with someone you know you can never be with, and how hard it is to just be around that person when you have these feelings inside. It's tearing me apart I've only been in one relationship in my 20 years on this planet and that ended over 3 years ago. Since then I haven't been on a single date (not for lack of trying mind you). I have to admit that being rejected 17 times in a row over the course of 3 years can get REALLY discouraging and I can't help but feel that I'm setting myself up for another incredibly heartbreaking situation. Every way I can think of approaching this matter seems to end with me not only losing two very close friends but missing out on the chance to have what could be an absolutely amazing relationship with with a girl who has become one of my best friends over the last few years. I'm completely alone up here in Cleveland. I work alone 10 hours a day and go "home" to my hotel room where all I have to keep me company is my computer, my guitars, and my streetbike. When the loneliness gets unbearable riding is the only thing I can do to clear my mind. Believe me, nothing clears your mind of all outside thoughts like dragging your knee through a long sweeping turn at 160mph. Sometimes it's hard to understand why things like this keep happening to me. If relationships are such a natural part of life, why is it that I haven't been able to get so much as a hug that lasted more than 3 sec from anyone in the last 3 years. I've tried taking the initiative; I've tried waiting for love to find me... You can only wait for so long before you begin to wonder if love has forgotten about you. Link to comment
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