i need some advise

[lil_baby_girl]

okay I'm almost 18, i will be in about a month in a half i will be 18, I'm having a hard time with turning 18. i feel like im going to lose every one i know, i have lost 3ppl very close to me since February, and one of them was a man that i look up to like a 2cd father. now that im turning 18 i feel like im going lose everyone else, my mother and my father and all my friends and there family, im having a hard time leaven my little sister the most because she is like my daughter i have taken care of her since she came home from the hospital. i need help i don't know what to do, do i stay home or do i grow up and move out like normal kids do? i really need help, what do i do with my little sister ever time i talk about moving she starts crying, help please anyone that can.

 

[greensleeves]

Is there a reason you have to move out at eighteen? Not too many kids I know are out on their own at that age these days. Is anyone putting pressure on you to get your own place?

[lil_baby_girl]

my family is homeless right now and we are staying at my grandmothers house, and my grandmothers hate me because I'm homosexual. and on my 18 birthday if my parents don't have a place of there own i'm ganna be kicked out,

[greensleeves]

That's not a good situation. How long before your birthday?

 

Edit - Sorry, I just noticed in your first post that it's in a month and a half. Do you have anywhere you can go?

[lil_baby_girl]

well i kinda have a place i can go but its away from everyone i know and love.

[greensleeves]

If you have a place to go, that's a plus. It might turn out to be a good thing for you to go out on your own. It sounds like things aren't too pleasant where you are right now. Is there a reason you wouldn't be able to see your family (especially your sister) on a regular basis if you go to this place? Moving out doesn't mean you'll lose your family, only that you won't see them as much. It really could turn into a very positive move for you.

[daryalove]

talk to your parents! Tell someone who's close to you how you feel bout your seperation from your little sister! Evryone I know is still living at home into their early 20's

 

Is your grandma appoachable? May be she needs some education on homosexuality? She might be able to accept you for who you are.

 

on a different note: I don't think at 17 you know your sexuality! I don't even think kids at 17 should be sexually active .... let it be hetero or homo or bi ...

 

Sweetie, get to know yoursef before you decide on your sexuality ... and you've got long ways to go! you are just a baby!

 

Good luck and don't let physical distance change your relationship with your sister. Sisters are blessings! I have 4!

[lil_baby_girl]

the place i have to go to ones i turn 18 is almost 20 hrs away from my family. and there is no talking to my grandmothers at all, she wont listen to anything i have to say. and i'm not sexually active i just don't find men attractive. I'm right now just going with being bi because something can happen later in life that makes it different. how can i keep the relationship with my sister as good as it is now if i live 20hrs away?

[greensleeves]

How old is your sister? Will you both have access to computers?

[daryalove]

Then don't label yourself as bi. Not finding any man attractive does not mean you are bi sweetie. I've been through that phase in my life when I was younger.

 

Pray to whatever you believe in! Phone calls, e-mail, SMS, IM are all the ways you could stay in touch with your little sister.

 

My little sister lives accross the globe and we talk once a week!

[lil_baby_girl]

my sister is barely 8 years old she cant really type or write yet, and i wont have a computer for sometime after i move, and i don't want to be with a man, i don't like them at all, i can be friends with them but i can not date a man or even think about a man sexual.

[greensleeves]

It's too bad your Grandmother is so close minded. It it's absolutely final that you're going to have to move, there isn't much you can do, other than try to talk to her and see if you can stay. But, moving out might not be a bad thing...it could be a new beginning for you. You can talk to your sister on the phone at leat once a week, even though it'll be long distance, it isn't expensive anymore. Eventually the two of you will be able to communicate on line and talk everyday if you want to. If you have to go, just let her know how much you love her and reassure her that you'll be thinking about her and will be there for her in any way that you're able to be. As for your fear of losing everyone else, you won't. They'll still be a part of your life. If you're family gets to the point that they're back in there own place at some point, hopefully you'll be able to spend some time with them. I know that it's scary to think about moving so far away from everything that you know, but if you have no other choice you'll just have to get through it and make the best of it.

 

I'm just wondering why you have to move so far away. Maybe there's a way that you could move somewhere else that's closer to your sister and your family.

[lil_baby_girl]

I'm just wondering why you have to move so far away. Maybe there's a way that you could move somewhere else that's closer to your sister and your family.

the reastion i have to move so far away is because I'm going to be staying with a friend tell i can get on my feet. i don't really have a place to stay thats closer to my family, all my friends place are to full for me and everything else.

[greensleeves]

Well lil baby girl, it looks like a new chapter is going to be starting in your life! I've posted on some of your other threads...I think maybe this could be a good thing?

 

It's young to be going out on your own by some people's standards, but lots of others your age have done it...I was on my own at 16. I think that you can turn this into a really positive period of growth for you. I know you'll miss your sister, but that's what happens in families when people start to grow up and apart.

 

I also think it will be good for you to get away from your grandmother. You don't need to be around someone who doesn't approve of who you are. She's entitled to her views, but being around her all the time will make you feel bad about yourself. Your sister and you will always remain close because you love eachother.

 

Try to look at this as an adventure and something to be excited about...I think that you're going to blossom.

[lil_baby_girl]

i have a question for you. what is the definition of being on your own?

and 1 the only reason its hard for me to move away is cause if i don't take care of my sister who will if I'm not there to make sure she is okay who will, i have reased her from a baby, she like my child because im the one who has taken care of her the 8 years of her life,

[greensleeves]

For me, being on my own meant moving away from my family. I shared an apartment with a friend, then shared a big house with a few friends and then got my own apartment. Eventually I found a partner and started my own family and now I consider myself on my own again...my children live with me, but I'm not with their father. So even though being "on your own" doesn't necessarily mean being alone, to me it means being financially responsible for yourself and taking care of your own needs.

 

I know that you feel you've raised your sister and I'm sure you spent alot of time with her, but your parents were financially responsible for her shelter, food and clothing, so in actual fact, they've raised her and you helped alot. I know your parents are in a bad situation right now, but they'll have to continue to be responsible for your sister and you can support her emotionally through phone calls. She'll be okay and you musn't feel that you're responsible for her basic needs, you're only 17 and she's not your child. Your parents are making sure that her basic needs are met and I'm sure they love both of you. You may find that at some point in the future, when she's older, you'll be more established and she might be able to come and stay with you. It might be a goal for you to work towards.

 

I know you're scared and you haven't had the best start in life, but don't let your beginnings limit what you can become. You have the potential to move beyond your past..it will take courage and hard work, but you can do it

[lil_baby_girl]

but your parents were financially responsible for her shelter, food and clothing, so in actual fact, they've raised her and you helped alot.

see thats my problem right there everyone thinks my parents gave her food and clothing but that was me the only thing my parents did was shelter us, same with my little brother, expet they would buy him cloths ones in a while. and i have been buying my own food and clothing and everything to, sense i was 14 i have been wroking at diffrent place to get money, now that im old enought to get a job and stop doing little things for money its harder. no a lot of places want a adlut that has had a hard time in life or on with a learning dissableitly,

 

and my parents have already said that as soon as i get a place to live my sister can come stay with me for a few days as long as it dont hurt her school work.

[greensleeves]

see thats my problem right there everyone thinks my parents gave her food and clothing but that was me the only thing my parents did was shelter us, same with my little brother, expet they would buy him cloths ones in a while. and i have been buying my own food and clothing and everything to, sense i was 14 i have been wroking at diffrent place to get money, now that im old enought to get a job and stop doing little things for money its harder. no a lot of places want a adlut that has had a hard time in life or on with a learning dissableitly,

 

and my parents have already said that as soon as i get a place to live my sister can come stay with me for a few days as long as it dont hurt her school work.

 

 

You may have a learning disability, but look at what you've accomplished. You've been looking after yourself since you were 14. that's HUGE and on top of that, you've also been taking a lot of responsibility for raising your sister. You are stronger then you know and I think that you're going to do really well. I'm glad that your sister can come to visit, that will be really nice for both of you. Always remember, your past doesn't determine your future. I really believe that this move is going to turn out to be a very positive thing for you and I hope you'll keep me posted on how things are going. Please feel free to pm me anytime.

[mrcooll]

Hi, I am new to this site and just read this thread. From what I have seen you write you are really really strong. As greensleeves indicated you having the chance to see your sister is a big plus even if its not as often as you like. Moving does not mean that you will lose your family, its just being financially and for the most part emotionally responsibly for yourself while being far away. From what I have seen you have joined a really helpful site and I am sure the support from this lady here and others will definitely be inspiring to you. I wish you all the best as you prepare to travel this new road

[lil_baby_girl]

thank you all so very much, im still a little scarred to move out but i know im strong and ill make it through this, i just worrie me and my sister wont be as colse as we are now.

[mrcooll]

thank you all so very much, im still a little scarred to move out but i know im strong and ill make it through this, i just worrie me and my sister wont be as colse as we are now.

 

 

 

You will make it through...

[lil_baby_girl]

Thank you, thank you all for ur support. it means a lot to me.