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My life is insane right now. HELP!!


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Wow, my life is getting too much right now... anyone want to help sort through this with me?? Ps: this is going to be really long I have a feeling so better go make some popcorn and come back... all done? sweet.. enjoy~


First off Graduated from University with a psychology degree in May.... I have no job still.. I wanted to take a year off before Grad school to do "fun jobs" and experience life for a change... so I decided to pursue a bartending job... took classes... 700$ later I'm certified and ready to go! (I really know my stuff) But that was about 2 weeks ago.. I've spent every day looking for a job.. and nothing... I guess its frustrating because I know I need to go to Grad School to get what i want to get done (be a clinical therapist) but I really want to go out and there do some travelling and live an exciting life for a bit.. I don't know why.. maybe I'm immature, but I really want to be completely independent and on my own. I want to be able to see things all over the world and meet all diffrent types of people....


Anyways, on my bartending job search, I drive by a counseling center and think *Hey, I have a psych major.. my concentration is counseling... why not?* I go in there... and they refer me to another center.. I apply there.. seems positive... that was about 4 days ago.. I've heard nothing back but it would be an interesting job and something I'm def. interested in!! However, I still am without a job, so I keep searching...


I go to a friend of mine's party.. this girl really starts to fancy me.. and I find out she is pretty high up in a local restraunt.. and they need bar tenders.. so I go there to apply today... she talks to some managers.. and they tell me I can be a server for a bit, and if I do good work, they'll let me be a bartender.... awesome I think.. but I really want a job now!! Plus the counseling job (Resident Therapist) would be a lot better.. and am I willing to do two jobs? I don't know!! I need the income, so I would not be against it... However I don't want to get pigeon holed into a routine that doesn't allow me to break out of here and out into the world~


okay, now lets add a twist.. last year I worked at a summer camp for children with behavioral disorders in NY... and I'm really starting to miss it, and people that were there are kind of pressuring me to go back.. which I do want to.... oh ya, and my ex-GF wants me to go back to it.. because she is going to be going back also... which of course could be good/bad... so thats kind of tainting my view I'm pretty sure.. I want to really search inside myself to figure out if I really just miss being with her there.. or if I really miss being at the camp... and if she is there.. I can't expect things to be the same between us as they were before.... I'm just worried that I'm going to convince myself that she really wants me to go, and that we'll be together.. I'll change her mind about our relationship and we'll drive off into the sunset holding hands etc etc... But I really am quite level-headed about the whole thing so I feel like I can make a good decision.. I guess I'm just worried I'll get there and she'll have a completely diffrent view on me...


Okay, so basically I'm worried that if I leave for this summer camp (would be a month) I would blow my oppurtunity at all these other places and put myself in a much worse position then I currently am in...


Also, my plan is travel to Australia before applying to grad school.. and as its going right now, I am no where near making enough money to go out there.. which is really bumming me out A LOT....


phew~ done.. any comments?

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You could give the counseling center a call and see where they're at in the hiring process. I will be graduating with a Psychology degree next year as well, and I think the counseling position will give you an edge grad school. Have you already applied?

Don't think it's immature if you feel like you really want to travel and see the world before you start working. I know a lot of people who travel after graduation, I plan on doing so myself.

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I think maybe you should work both jobs. You'd make more money and then once you've earned enough, you could go abroad. The only thing with counseling is that it's not good for the clients to switch counselors often, so going into it knowing that you're only going to stay short term isn't good for the clients. But I think it's good to start as a server and then work your way up. Meanwhile, keep searching for bartending jobs. Have you hit up the local areas that get a lot of attention? Or maybe look at the lesser known places. Your second job could be retail or something, so working short time doesn't have as much of an impact. Jobs with tips can give you a lot of money.


I think traveling is a great idea. Just make sure that you're doing useful activities while you're away so that you can put it on your resume.


I wouldn't go back to camp. I think it would set you back emotionally with your girlfriend and it's not worth it. Just out of curiosity, where is the camp? I live in NY.

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i have not applied to grad school yet, I need to study more for the GRE and I've just been really bogged down with work related problems...


i do think I will take both jobs if possible... and I have looked a lot for jobs and still am


The camp thing I guess is what I'm really struggling with... it could possibly set me back with my ex... but its also the exact work that I want to do this counseling center, just somewhere else.. so I would love to just put that job on hold somehow..


Its in Rhinebeck.. north of NYC

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You need to prioritize then. Is it more important to get the work experience at the camp or to keep moving forward in moving on from your ex? I don't think there's an easy answer, but it's one you have to figure out for yourself.


If you go to camp and things get all messed up with your ex again, do you still think it would be worth it to go? Do you think you could find a similar camp somewhere else?

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the camp was a pretty awesome place to work, i learned a LOT about myself and people around me... it was a very emotional thing for me.. and a great experience... I still have a lot of friends that I have not seen in a year that are there (outside of my ex) and I would not want to throw that away~


I just got a call from the camp saying that they would love to have me back, and just give them my flight information so they can refund the ticket and all this stuff.... it sounds like they're ready to let me back....


My next plan of action is to call the therapist job to see if I'm even able to get a job there... if they werent goign to hire me.. I don't really mind going to camp because its a good place to get money and I dont have to worry about leavign anything behind, if there is nothing to leave behind.. if that makes sense....


I have no idea what will happen when I see my ex.. she sometimes keeps in contact with me.. and its nothing that strong.. I have no idea where I lay in her head.... The camp is a lot of work, and if she totally blows me off or something, I know I have MORE than enough to keep my mind busy also I know for a fact that they would not put us together this year~

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As long as you're really going back for the experience and not to see the ex.


And if you do decide to go, I think you really need to figure out what you want from her. Do you want to try again? Do you want to be friends? Do you just want a civil relationship with her? I bet you she'd try to stir things up again and you need to be clear and what you want before you get there so that you don't get hurt again.

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Ok, so I went to talk to my old boss, who is one of my good friends who basically calls me out on all my bull * * * * and really asks the important questions that need to be asked.. and obviously we discussed all this...


At the moment this therapist job is still not panning out at all... and I'm really leaning towards going to this camp.. its right up my ally in terms of what type of work I want to do... so it IS helpful... obviously the Ex being there throws this whole thing for a bit twist.. and I know that I 100% do NOT want to get back together with her.. under NO circumstances will I do that again....


I guess the only part of me that ties camp and her together is to see what happened... one minute we are happily in love.. then the next its all fallen apart... and we barely even talk... and now that we've talked about going back, she ended up texting me the other day and actually talking to me on the phone and we figured stuff out about how things are going.. and we didnt seem to miss a beat at all.... I dunno... so I guess there is a touch of curiosity in me.. but in all honesty, I would be happy as a clam if I went there and just had to deal with the kids and barely saw her....

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It's easy to say that when you're far away. If this camp is a great opportunity for you, then don't let her stand in the way. But be prepared for her to be actively trying to get you back (not saying it will definitely happen, but I think it's a huge possibility since she's already contacting you). You should have a game plan in your head for what you'll do in that situation if you really do not want to get back together with her. The fact that you guys have been talking and are curious makes me think that there's a possibility that you'll reconnect while you're there and go through this whole cycle all over again.

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I'm not saying that we won't "connect" or anything like that... we were pretty close as friends before any relationship started to happen.. but the reality is that nothing would of changed.. and I'm smarter than that.... neither of us are in any better position then we were before to make things work.. (actually I think we are in a much worse position)


I know that if we tried again, it would not work.. and I'm not prepared to go through all of THAT again The camp is a great oppurtunity and due to the fact that I have nothing going on here, I feel like I can sacrafice 4 weeks of life here to go do something good and relevant to my career goals.... her being there just makes things... well... interesting.. I guess....


thanks a lot of taking the time to read all of this by the way!! i know I'm difficult!!

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Well it sounds like you'll do great then. You know you don't want to get caught up in that again. And you'll be doing a good thing for the summer.


LOL it's no problem!! If I ever meet a guy again and have issues, I'm sure you'll return the favor haha.

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