lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Ok so read my last threads if u must! But pretty much the guy who was on and off and didnt treat me great all the time whom i stopped talking to because it was too emotionally draining on me sent me a email yesterday. He is travelling so he has been in another country since its been over. He wrote hi and said how he wished things werent how they are and they i should understand that he does/always did care about me alot. He then said i hope you are doing well and better now that im totally out of your life. and that was really it. im confused about what the email even means and what the point of it is,. Its not like he is saying how much he misses me and wants me back but he writes that. why does he even bother? should i respond? if so what would i say? Link to comment
Abadabbadoo Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Do NOT reply. He wants to be sure you're still on the hook and will nibble. If you get an urge to respond, open a tin of cheap catfood. Go out and buy one if you don't have a cat. Eat it all, and you'll still feel better than if you'd answered his mail. Link to comment
SupaflyTNT Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 He's trying to insert himself back into your life. He probably has no respect for you in general or he would have made an attempt to keep in contact with you while out of the country, how hard is it to send an email? Now that he's back and has nothing to do he figures he'll get back in touch with you. You said yourself he was emotionally draining on you, that hasn't changed, trust me. If you allow him back into your life you'll most likely get more of the same. I'm saying all of this because I went through the same thing recently. I let her back in briefly and it was more of the same. She only kept me "on the hook" when she needed something to do, nothing had changed. As soon as this guy finds another girl or something better to do he'll drop you again. My advice: send him an email back that says "actions speak louder than words" Then stop responding to him. Block his email if you have to, it's not worth the emotional turmoil he's going to cause you. Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 he is actually still in another country...so its not that he wrote me before he got back cause he is there. but it doesnt make a difference really. you are both right. he just wants to see because since its been over a week and we have had no contact he is trying to see if he might be able to get back in. but ive let him back in too many times. i still dont know if i should write anything back though...actions speak louder than words is true. but whats that gonna do by saying that? So you really think by writing this he is showing he has no respect for me? thats lame! Link to comment
SupaflyTNT Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 he is actually still in another country...so its not that he wrote me before he got back cause he is there. but it doesnt make a difference really. you are both right. he just wants to see because since its been over a week and we have had no contact he is trying to see if he might be able to get back in. but ive let him back in too many times. i still dont know if i should write anything back though...actions speak louder than words is true. but whats that gonna do by saying that? So you really think by writing this he is showing he has no respect for me? thats lame! I think he has no respect for you because he "was on and off and didn't treat me great" like you said. He'll do it again too, that's another reason. Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 so he just gchatted me. i gues cause i never responded to his email. saying he misses me and wishes i was tehre with him. and was asking me how im doing. i gave him one word answers then realized what am i even doing talking to him. i never want him to have me under his wing again so i just signed off and didnt say anything after he was like telling me he is going to txt me when he is back and saying how he had a crazy dream about me and stuff....why is he bothering? all he wants is to get me in the trap. its actually so hard to be so strong. uugh should i have been more friendly? Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 he also asked me if he could call me when he gets back.. Link to comment
SupaflyTNT Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Personally, I wouldn't get involved with him. Don't be friendly and don't answer his calls, he'll get the hint soon enough. You should focus you're attention and time on other men, on your job or school, or on a hobbie you like doing. You'll be much happier that way. Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I think whether or not you reply -- to his email or his IMs on gchat -- depends on how you see the future relationship with him. As the other posters already pointed out, it does not appear as though he is asking for reconciliation. So do you think you'll want to be friends at some point? Do you have mutual friends? OR do you think there is little chance of seeing him again now that you're broken up? Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 i dont see a future we dont have mutual friends and i would never get back together with him. i just find it hard ignoring someone. but at the same time i know its what i need to do. It is the only way to move on and to get him completely out of my life. he is such a manipulator anyways that i dont believe a word he says. he told me he told his friend (whom he is with) that he wishes i was tehre with him. i doubt he even did and then he said he had a crazy dream about me.?? like why even say that if ur not going to explain. i didnt even ask what it was about. i stopped replying. Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 is it bad that i did respond the little bit that i did? i dont want him to feel good about us. i dont want him to think im back under his wing. i responded like 2 word answers like 3 times and then at the end i just signed off Link to comment
Ellie2006 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 If that's the case, then I think you did the right thing [by deciding to stop contact altogether from this point onward]. I know what you mean about it being difficult to "ignore/not respond" to people when they try to contact you ... BUT self-preservation comes first, right?! Sounds like you're on the right track. Take care and stay strong! Link to comment
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Don't reply. I was in a very similar situation and now that I'm on the other side of it--he really is just seeing if you're still there just in case. Don't take that personally: you are wonderful and he's a jerk. Especially when you said he didn't always treat you great. Stay away and you will come out on top. Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 i see what your saying but its hard not to take it personally. I guess i dont understand the point of just wanting to know if someone is still there. like if i dont like them then i dont call them or try to talk to them. we dated for a year... Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 I just want to get to the point where i dont care about him at all anymore. i dont care who he is with or if he ever calls me again. Like i dont want him to call me but at the same time i do. I know its messed up. AH Link to comment
anonheart Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Don't reply. I was in a very similar situation and now that I'm on the other side of it--he really is just seeing if you're still there just in case. I believe this to be so true. Him just wanting to see if you are still there. So hard and not fair for you. So really, just marching forward. Maybe they really don't know what they've got till its gone. Link to comment
xrayspex Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 He wants you to respond about how much you miss him and how horribly you're pining away for his defective ass so that he can get an ego stroke. Ignore it, don't even bother to respond. I had someone write to me like that before and I replied but changed the subject to read "error - unwanted message returned" and sent it back. It took two tries but they finally realized what I meant. Link to comment
anonheart Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 He wants you to respond about how much you miss him and how horribly you're pining away for his defective ass so that he can get an ego stroke. wow man, your so right. Link to comment
Karmageddon Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 I just want to get to the point where i dont care about him at all anymore. i dont care who he is with or if he ever calls me again. Like i dont want him to call me but at the same time i do. I know its messed up. AH Ok so I know exactly what you are saying. You and I are going through it sounds like the exact same thing. Sorry, for a moment I thought you were dating my guy! LOL!!! Just kidding. Hang in there, I know how much it stinks to care about someone who ends up treating you like garbage. I'm coming to realize that if it isn't to difficult for me to treat someone with respect, It certainly shouldn't be to hard for them. Link to comment
Loltastic Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 He wants you to respond about how much you miss him and how horribly you're pining away for his defective ass so that he can get an ego stroke. Ignore it, don't even bother to respond. Yep. My ex started doing exactly this 3 days after we broke up, she went on about how she needs to keep me as a friend because I mean so much to her that she wants me around, she just doesnt have time for a relationship ect... When I told her I didnt want to be friends she made me feel so guilty until I said I'd work at it. she would contact me when she was depressed, talk to me about things, then it would lead on to how much she missed me holding her and how she still wants me back in her life but then say she couldnt get back together... 3 times she made me beg to get back together... So I sent her an email telling her she decided she didnt want me in her life so I'm gonna move on, I deleted her msn and number from my phone (which oddly enough killed me to do, it was like breaking up all over again rofl, I guess I was hanging on too much) and I told her never to contact me because I wont reply. I feel better having done it. Link to comment
Lindsey6826 Posted July 17, 2008 Share Posted July 17, 2008 Definitely don't respond! He is playing games and seeing if you are still "whipped" over him. Even giving a response, even a rude one, shows you care. Not giving one shows you're so far over him that you don't even care. Plus, he wants a response, so don't give him one. Link to comment
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