Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I just had a wonderful date last night with a guy I met at a 4th of July party. It's my first date since I've been recovering from the ex (which I really believe I'm slowly but surely making progress on). He wants to go out again, but not until next week. Is that a normal amount of time between dates? I realize it could be any amount of reasons: busy at work, busy all week, etc. But he suggested we go out again next week. Just seemed like a long amount of time between dates. I'm fine with it as going slow in the beginning is definitely my thing. I just want to make sure it's not one of those "he's just not that into you" things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 most people work during the week. i'm busy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 most people work during the week. i'm busy. Yeah-same here. Sorry, I'm just in this "He seems cool and I hope he likes me!" phase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanceVanceDance Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Since this was your first date with him, he probably doesn't want to rush into it. I know that when I begin seeing a girl, I usually want to keep it casual for at least the first few times. Things can get more intense later if the first dates work out fine. It doesn't seem like a problem to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 Since this was your first date with him, he probably doesn't want to rush into it. I know that when I begin seeing a girl, I usually want to keep it casual for at least the first few times. Things can get more intense later if the first dates work out fine. It doesn't seem like a problem to me. Thank you! To be honest with you, I like going slow at first as well and I prefer the guy to go slower. I'm just so much more wary now since the last heartbreak I think. Slow is probably better as I'm still progressing with healing from that. He said we should go out again when I get back from my trip to D.C over the weekend. Should I call him when I get back or let him call me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanceVanceDance Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 For this time I think you should let him call since he probably expects that. I normally expect to be the one to make the first few phone calls. However if things go well then it's ok for you to also initiate contact afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 well, he said he wants to see you again. so don't worry. maybe if you get more serious the frequency will be more than once a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LE DHUY NHUT Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Once a week is good for starters...keeps things fresh and exciting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I actually don't want to date more often than once a week in the beginning... or one weekend date, and *maybe* coffee or lunch or drinks during the week once, max. In fact, it even bugs me if he calls every day in the beginnig. Otherwise i worry that the person is too stalkerish to just want to slide me into an intense relationship right away. Most older people do work during the week and getting together all the time can be problematic until you're really ready to start staying over at each other places. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 Thank you everyone for the advice. As for contacting him, I just sent him a "I had fun-thanks!" text last night which he actually responded to with asking me out for next week. Hopefully he makes the call and I don't have to! But I've been told if a guy really likes me, he'll call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Thank you everyone for the advice. As for contacting him, I just sent him a "I had fun-thanks!" text last night which he actually responded to with asking me out for next week. Hopefully he makes the call and I don't have to! But I've been told if a guy really likes me, he'll call. you DID reply to him about next week right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 you DID reply to him about next week right? Yes! I said "That sounds great-I'll talk to you then." That's ok, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Yes! I said "That sounds great-I'll talk to you then." That's ok, right? hmmm. the 'i'll talk to you then' could be perceived as you need to call him. but maybe he will call. i'd say around wednesday afternoon if you didn't hear anything, send a message like 'how's your week goin?' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 hmmm. the 'i'll talk to you then' could be perceived as you need to call him. but maybe he will call. i'd say around wednesday afternoon if you didn't hear anything, send a message like 'how's your week goin?' This Wednesday or next Wednesday when we are supposed to have our second date? I was thinking along the same lines. He seems like the type of guy that will actually call, but if I don't hear from him by next Wednesday, I'll send a casual text. Thank you so much for the advice. It's so stupid, but I feel like I'm brand new in the dating world again. It's kind of exciting. I don't feel like I said the wrong thing unless the "talk to you then" made it sound like I don't even want to talk on the phone. Eh, I'm over analyzing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ghost69 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 This Wednesday or next Wednesday when we are supposed to have our second date? I was thinking along the same lines. He seems like the type of guy that will actually call, but if I don't hear from him by next Wednesday, I'll send a casual text. Thank you so much for the advice. It's so stupid, but I feel like I'm brand new in the dating world again. It's kind of exciting. I don't feel like I said the wrong thing unless the "talk to you then" made it sound like I don't even want to talk on the phone. Eh, I'm over analyzing. your date is scheduled for next wednesday? i was thinking this wednesday as in two days from today. just a nice little message to get communication going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 Yeah, he wants to hang out NEXT week, not this week. Now I don't know whether to contact him or not this week or let him do the contacting! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NewPhillyGuy Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Suzanne, You are doing fine and sounds like you have a good thing going here. Early on, a week between dates is normal. I would say this should increase in frequency after the 5-6th date. If it does not and he does not express interest in seeing you more, I'd say it's time to back off. Don't make the mistake of overthinking (I do this alot!). If you feel like contacting him and hinting at the date, do so. There's nothing at all wrong with that, and he will appreciate your interest. If he likes you back, he will certainly move to plan something with you. Good luck and report back with details. -NPG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I would not contact him again - he knows you are interested in seeing him again. That's sufficient, in my opinion. It all sounds like a really good start! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 I decided to go with--if I don't hear by Thursday, I'll just send a little message to keep conversation going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 As long as you are comfortable telling him again (in so many words) that you're interested in him, then go for it (meaning, don't tell yourself it's just "keeping the conversation going" - those early messages are typically not taken in that feather-light way). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConfusedDater Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 and he might be on a budget so keep in mind that you are not expected to pay so it' easier for you to want to go out again in 2 days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LanceVanceDance Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 I personally love receiving little messages like "hi, how are you doing?" inbetween dates. It shows interest but not desperation. If you feel like sending something like that after a few days there's nothing wrong with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne1281 Posted July 10, 2008 Author Share Posted July 10, 2008 Update!: New guy texted me yesterday to ask how my week was going and we texted back and forth all day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted July 11, 2008 Share Posted July 11, 2008 That's nice. I would avoid constant texting in the beginning - give him a chance to miss you a little and be motivated to see you in person rather than texting and avoid being overly available like a buddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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