feeling very confused and depressed.

[uongy]

having broken up with my ex of a long-distance relationship(8 months),i was very broken hearted and hurt.this happened in Sept. and ive been trying to get over it ever since.though the relationship was rather short,i loved her with my heart and soul and i think that i did everything i could have in the relationship.i have no regreats or neither do i think about what i could have done.

 

i do believe that me and her were meant to be.everything between us was prefect.we never argued and we fit together prefectly.it was JUST the distance,we never saw each other as i or her could never do see each other due to our circumstances.we are both in school and parents didnt approve.i add that our parents were not to blame nor am i angry or upset at them.

 

since i have broken up with her,ive met many new people whom i have become "friends" with.however,having just met many of them,i dont seem to know what to say to them due to my natural shyness and sapped confidence.i cannot confide in my best friend who listens but is unable to give me any useful advice.

 

i notice that i have been feeling way better than i did wen i broke up with her and i have made progress.but i have got depressed because 1.miss her and know we would have made an incredible couple 2.shes what ive dreamed of in a girl 3.my new friends im still getting acquainted with.

im not sure what i should do first.please note most of my new friends are females.

thx for any help.happy new year everyone.

[BrandonBo]

well hmm i think that u shoudl prolly just try to forget her and try to get to know these new ppl ask them to do stuff like dates but just hangin out ya know break the ice a lil

[elbandido]

My advice to you is go out. Keep your mind busy as well as your body. If you just hang around your place it will take you a long time to get over her. The best thing I can tell you is to get into some exercise program. This will help clear your mind and will help you look better.

 

I got out of a five year relationsip in April of '03. It was very hard for me, until I started working out. I dropped 36 pounds and have never looked better. I also went out a lot and met many people. I realized how many girls are out there and how many of them were interested in me. I also realized that although I am only 27 years old, I had been denying myself all the fun I should have been enjoying.

 

Go out, meet people. Exercise, I can't tell you this enough. If it was meant to be, it'll work itself out in the end. If it wasn't, do you really want a girl that you can't even hold in your arms due to the distance? I don't know about you, but I like to be able to hold the one I love in my arms. This is just a stepping stone. Through life you will experience heartbreak, but one day you will find the person you were destined to be with. For now, just enjoy life. Don't let this bump in the road keep you down.

 

Keep your head up.

[kmccaugh]

I recently broke off an almost 2 year long distane relationship. We reached a stalemate as to him moving to where I live and I moving to where he lived. Neither of us were willing to move which ultimately strained the relationship. My thought was that if you loved someone enough you would go anywhere. Anyway, in reading your post a discovery I made along the way came to mind.

 

You say you were perfect for each other and never fought, etc. BUT and the big BUT here is that you said you never spent much time together. ANYONE can be perfect when your not around them enough to learn their "annoynaces". Everyone has them. It is easy when you only deal with each other when both are happy and positive. But that is not real life nor is it a real relationship. If that person is not around to share your life and everyday experiences with then you just don't know. While it may or may not have worked out, that isn't an option. Miles put unrealistic boundaries on the relationship. People need to be together to have a real relationship so they can learn about each other and so their love can grow together.

 

My advice, even though she is a great girl - move on. Someday if your paths cross again maybe things would be different but for now, that isn't going to happen. Pursue your new friendships. Don't rush yourself into feeling "more". It will happen naturally when you are ready and when you meet someone worth falling for, you will know. It just takes time.

[The Morrigan]

kmccaugh has a good point - it's hard to know what quirks or idiosyncrascies someone has when you rarely see them - it's even easier to put them on a pedestal than when you've never seen something that was a little irritating at times, or had the time for something to get on your nerves on occasion.

 

Exercise definitely does help - for one thing, it makes it MUCH easier to sleep soundly when you're exhausted! And if you neglect your health at all, it can really amplify any feelings of depression and drop your energy level to about zero.

 

It's also good if you can find something maybe you've neglected, or just not had the time for before, that you're interested in and really have enthusiasm for. Whether it's something you do alone, or something you do in a group (that's a big plus, because you can meet people and converse on something you have a bit more confidence in), as you work on or complete something you're interested in and accomplish more, that in itself is a confidence builder and gives a sense of achievement.

 

I won't say "forget about her" as if she didn't exist - but think of what you did enjoy - and use the experience to your benefit. If you don't feel attracted enough to want to date anyone yet - no biggie, you're still making new friends, and getting some more confidence in yourself. You'll know yourself when you're ready to try to date per se - just don't pressure yourself into finding "the one" before having fun on friendly dates and finding out more about yourself and what you enjoy, and it'll fall in place eventually!