HoTung Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Had a horrible dream last night - my ex said to me he made a mistake and i was the one., he said u can have a few days to think about whether i wanted him back but i was so happy but then he goes to me i have something to tell u - he said he had slept with someone else and i burst out crying and couldn;t forgive him ....i know its a dream and my dreams never come true and he willl never come back but it made my heart jump out this morning - feel like poo The dream was so vivid - it hurt Link to comment
civilservant Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Im right there with you, the night before last I dreamt my ex and my best mate (we all work together) were getting it on. I remember feeling like I wanted to kill myself. Our minds can be a funny thing at times, it tends to create a narrative to images that get stuck between the short and long term memories. I wouldnt put too much weight in it to be honest. Link to comment
HoTung Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 i've had that dream before - when i was with him and yeah its horrible. For some reason when i was with him i used to always have bad dreams about him - and wake up angry and upset and have a go at him and he used to always say he did nothing wrong and it was a dream why am i still dreaming about him after 6 months - arghhh seriously feeling like cr@p today and yesterday - arghhhhh Link to comment
Clabs Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Hey hun Sorry you had that sucky dream - they can really set you up for a truly rotten day. I am sorry to say that all you can do is keep on walking the walk - keep trying to move forward a little at a time. The dreams will eventually fade away. Mark Link to comment
lostandlonely77 Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I know what you mean. I too dreamt about him for the first time in months the other night. Was a very vivid dream and I dreamt he was sitting in an office to which I could see him from where I was standing outside. Idecided to go in and speak to him and he seemed so pleased to see me and started kissing me and telling me how wrong he had got things and how he missed me and just wanted me back..............................................then I woke up! I am coping well and I shrugged it off but was just strange how I have been getting on with things then BAM i dream about him!! Chuin up and keep focused - it is likely not the first nor the last dream you will have - it will get better I promise you - I am healing now - still have bad days buy 3 months on and 5 weeks on NC I feel positive and feel no desire to contact him. xxx L&Lxx Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 I think our dreams are bound to reflect our fears. It sucks but it will get better. The important thing to remember is that it was just a dream. Dont give reality to unfounded shadows. You should do something today to take your mind off it. Work, visit family or friends, catch up with someone, anything that will stop you dwelling on it. You need to think of the smaller picture and concentrate on getting over this obstacle. Dwelling on it is the worst thing you can do. Try and take your mind off it. Even if you just watch a funny film or tv or play a computer game or read a book or something. Hope this helped! Link to comment
HoTung Posted July 7, 2008 Author Share Posted July 7, 2008 yes thanks Actually its the 3rd dream i have had in the last month. its weird since we've had no contact i have had more dreams about him. i think its cos my friend bumped into him at the gym on sat and it triggered me off. the first dream was somehow i ended going out with his brother and his mother (who dislikes) me found out and i turned round to her and said it serves you right 2nd was very graphic and again it ended with him telling me he slept with someone else. The worse thing is i know its inevitable that it is going to happen, of course he will meet someone else and someone else will be intimate with him, thats what hurts Link to comment
HoTung Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Has another dream about him last night, again he was trying to hold my hand and make up. why am i having these dreams and tormenting myself? Link to comment
Clabs Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Hun - you cannot help the dreams as much as it sucks. Actually - you can do things to reduce dreams. Try not to eat too late, try to avoid overly spicy food, especially garlic, try to avoid caffiene. You can also try some St John's Wort extract - that has a good calming property as does lavender - try some lavender oil in a late night soak and put a few drops on your pillow. Hope this is some help. Mark Link to comment
PushingDaisies Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Ho tung, perhaps you should do something before bed to take your mind off him. I read somewhere that dreams are our subconscious sorting through everything we have seen throughout the day - all those little things we dont consciously note but we subconsciously register. So, perhaps fill you days with lots of activities. Try not to have a moment where you are alone with your thoughts. My way of dealing with it is to pick up a book and lose myself in it. Dont do things you strongly associate him. Before bed, do some exercise to tire yourself out. Then watch tv or read a book until you want to sleep. I hope you start feeling better soon. Link to comment
lizzzy111 Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 how bout this....i had a dream once while i was still with my ex but things were bad, that he was sleeping with both my sister and my mother. I am very close with BOTH of them. That is wack! Link to comment
HoTung Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Yeah i had a dream he was having an affair with my good friend. The recent ones have been he sleeping with someone else which is inevitable its going to happen. I actually sleep really well and go into a deep sleep which is why I have these dreams. Poeple say evenings are the worse time but for me its definitely the mornings. Is NC definitely the right thing to do? beginning to think about him more and more - was ok for about 3 weeks and now have that yearning feeling again Link to comment
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