I kissed someone after being dumped, now it's causing issues.

[MemoriesDust]

Right,

 

This girl I'm with, she's dumped me perhaps 6/7 times... (I've walked away from her on occasional too when I feel like she's pushed me to the limit).

 

She dumped me a couple of weeks ago, with the line "I love you but I don't know how to make this work". I accepted it, I have too much pride to beg or chase, so I just accepted it was over.

 

Anyway, see my other post for details on how we currently stand, and the conflicts that have arisen during the week we got back together.

 

After she finished with me, I definitely thought it was for good this time, she left no indication of hope and facebook status updates indicated she was fine and happy in life etc., so me and my best buddy decided to go out, have some drinks and some fun. Suffice to say, we were getting a lot of male attention, and I ended up having a bit of a kiss with some random guy. It was all good, help me validate myself, boosted my self esteem, I'm not one to sleep around so I would never of considered letting it go further and went off dancing for a bit more.

 

A couple of days later my ex turns up, shocks the heck out of me for driving 2 hours to my place in an attempt to win me back, and well, obviously when we're discussing our relationship I tell her about the kiss, it would be dishonest to hold it back. She seems okay with it, obviously not pleased, but remember, she dumped me.

 

Anyway, fast forward to the conflict about 4 days later... Trying to speak to her was difficult, she was niggling about small, insignificant things, and when I tried to express my hurt she became so dismissive, that in my frustration I grabbed my stuff and left... Well, before I made it through the door, she yells at me, "Why don't you just go kiss the next person you meet!" and then slams the door in my face... She then chased me up the street to tell me how much it hurt to know I kissed someone else, and could I not tell how much she loved me.

 

So, am I right in thinking that her current attitude towards me is down to the fact that I kissed someone? I told her I'm sorry I hurt her, but I feel like she dumped me, she told me to leave her alone, that we couldn't work, and so I tried to move on, and enjoy myself, and now because she wants me back I'm being punished.

 

Just for the record, I would have never told her about the kiss if she had not wanted to get back together with me, I'm not out to hurt her or punish her, I was merely trying to restart my life and my broken heart.

 

I don't know what to do about this... Any help?

 

M&D

[DN]

She's being ridiculous.

 

She also seems very problematical - are you sure you want to be with someone who creats this much drama and hurt for you.

[MemoriesDust]

Sounds like my ex. She Has Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

This has crossed my mind before, but I dunno if she just doesn't deal with relationships very well, or possibly at all. Perhaps she would say the same to me, I dunno, I had a really lovely long term relationship that ended amicably prior to her, so I feel that I can at least communicate/exist in a healthy relationship, whereas from what she has told me, all of hers have ended rather dramatically and painfully...

 

Thank you both for letting me know that I'm not being completely unreasonable, sometimes it's incredibly hard to tell and I end up feeling like an awful person...

 

M&D

[PushingDaisies]

Do you think perhaps it may arise from the fact it was a guy you kissed?

[MemoriesDust]

Do you think perhaps it may arise from the fact it was a guy you kissed?

 

No, we're both bi, so that's not an issue... Actually she seemed incredibly relieved that it wasn't another girl. Apparently girls are more of a threat than guys... Possibly a strange psychology.

 

M&D

[PushingDaisies]

no i can understand that, girls can be a big threat lol!