He's kind of a player, but he says that he's fallen for me?

[PurposeNotWishes]

There's this guy that I've been friends with for about 8 months or so. We haven't been incredibly close, usually just hanging out when we're in a group of mutual friends (and if we're in the same conversation, we usually end up in an argument). Neither one of us are really each other's type mentally. I'm a bit more on the conservative side, don't sleep around, prefer long term relationships, quieter; and he's the popular guy, NEVER gets into relationships, dates around a lot, party guy. Although, I have been attracted to him since we met, he's model material, completely 'straight-acting', but I always knew not to even go there, so I didn't think of him as anything more than a friend.

 

Well the other night at a friends house, we were all outside and he takes me to the side and tells me that he's fallen for me - that he wants to try to have a relationship with me. Honestly over the past few months I have been feeling something more toward him. I know that this isn't some game he's playing, cause it's not his MO when he tries to get with a guy, and friends say that he's never said anything like that before, and he's always been proud of his non-relationship stance. I basically told him to let me think about it, but I haven't been able to come up with anything.

 

He's always been kind of a player, and we have nothing in common. Should I even try to see where things go with him?

[xioking39]

go with it, you might as well stick your feet in the water. if things dont go the way you would like them to then just end it.

[SoMuchLove]

Careful. Do what you feel. You can't judge so much for someones past.... but you have the right to be concerned about his past and allow it to affect your choice. It's all on whether you believe people change.

[D_Lish]

I dont think that there is any such thing as a *player*. People who go from partner to partner, do so I think, because they havnt met that special one. Maybe you are his *special* one.

[coolbloke1978]

I wouldn't go there personally. Past behaviour is always a good indication of future behaviour. believe me I know. I'm a gay guy that always falls for the bad guy. I'm like you I dont sleep around and am fairly conservative. Do not go there. I am sure he's a nice guy. But just stay friends and see how things pan out. Bad guys always go for the nicer guys as they think they will change their ways. Believe me. They will not. Anyway sorry guess I am being cynical. At the end of the day only YOU know what's right for you. But you must be having doubts or you'd not have posted here in the first place.

[amipushy]

I'm with slowly does it. Date him but don't get sexual. See what he is made of.

[Catdancer]

Part of the attraction of a bad boy is sex. I understand where the other posters are coming from in their "dont have sex with him" advice, but I also understand the effect that a bad boy has on you. I've always been attracted to bad boys and I've been with one now for about 15 months. It's been no where near easy. But we're making it.

 

You take a big risk with a bad boy. They are so easy to fall for and it's so easy to get swept away by them. One of the things that I've learned about them is that they LOVE the chase. So, dont be so available to him and make him work for time with you. Try to keep your feelings on ice for a while and see how it goes with him. Have sex, go out, get to know each other and see where it takes you. But guard your heart very closely, bad boys have a tendency to break them. Good luck! Cat

[lukeb]

I guess try to be honest with yourself and figure out what the attraction really is, and go from there.