ramsickle1369 Posted July 6, 2008 Share Posted July 6, 2008 Well, for those of you that have been following my nonsense with this guy... I'm saddened to say that it's finally over. The circumstances of this past week solidified things for me. I will never go down that road again. Last weekend he was chasing me wanting to play (online). I refused since he wouldn't set a date to meet me. He pushed and pushed. I remained stern and said to set AND KEEP a date and I'd play. He did. He confirmed and said for sure and everything. I was super excited since he never confirms in advance like that. I believed he would not blow me off "this time". By Tuesday I was concerned and doubting he'd show so I confirmed again with him. He tells me that he never confirmed and that "why do people only hear what they want to hear?" Here's what he actually said to me when we made the plans: Him: let's do wed at 7 Me: for SURE? Him: yes unless it is 730 Where in there was me reading into it? I am so so so angry and disappointed. I believed a complete LIAR! Anyway, as things turned out, he blew me off Wed and I flipped out COMPLETELY. It was as if a years worth of crap I'd been holding in opened up. I sent like 20 or so texts, left messages and sent many IM's. He responded a couple times telling me that I was crazy. And yes, he did certainly make me crazy. I have gone thru so many emotions over the past couple of days that I am exhausted. I hate him! I love him. I am angry at all the lies he's told me. I want to post his crap all over the internet to save any other woman from his lies. And all the while, my thoughts are "I blew any chance of ever being with him again." and my friend says to me, "Wait... you are upset that you blew a chance to get effed? That’s crazy!" And yep, she's right. I'm crazy. Anyway, I am over the option of ever going there again with him. He cannot be trusted. I keep seeing all the things that I thought would be. All the promises. All the hopes that he'd actually ever care for me. I allowed him to keep me in this situation because I was completely blind to his crap and lacked the confidence to walk away. At least I have that now--not without pain. Anyway, I am not sure what to do with myself now, but I cannot let go of these dang memories and crushed dreams. I hope they go away in time... I am feeling incredibly vindictive right now and trying to control myself. I've stopped the messages to him, I doubt he read them anyway. But I needed to be sure that there would never be another hope that he'd want me. I needed to make sure that this ship has sunk so that when I miss him, he'll stay away. Love sucks and I will never be able to trust another again. That's my story... at least the gist of it. Link to comment
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