My Situation....

[ramsickle1369]

Well, for those of you that have been following my nonsense with this guy... I'm saddened to say that it's finally over. The circumstances of this past week solidified things for me. I will never go down that road again.

 

Last weekend he was chasing me wanting to play (online). I refused since he wouldn't set a date to meet me. He pushed and pushed. I remained stern and said to set AND KEEP a date and I'd play. He did. He confirmed and said for sure and everything. I was super excited since he never confirms in advance like that. I believed he would not blow me off "this time".

 

By Tuesday I was concerned and doubting he'd show so I confirmed again with him. He tells me that he never confirmed and that "why do people only hear what they want to hear?" Here's what he actually said to me when we made the plans:

Him: let's do wed at 7

Me: for SURE?

Him: yes unless it is 730

 

Where in there was me reading into it? I am so so so angry and disappointed. I believed a complete LIAR!

 

Anyway, as things turned out, he blew me off Wed and I flipped out COMPLETELY. It was as if a years worth of crap I'd been holding in opened up. I sent like 20 or so texts, left messages and sent many IM's. He responded a couple times telling me that I was crazy. And yes, he did certainly make me crazy. I have gone thru so many emotions over the past couple of days that I am exhausted. I hate him! I love him. I am angry at all the lies he's told me. I want to post his crap all over the internet to save any other woman from his lies. And all the while, my thoughts are "I blew any chance of ever being with him again." and my friend says to me, "Wait... you are upset that you blew a chance to get effed? That’s crazy!" And yep, she's right. I'm crazy.

 

Anyway, I am over the option of ever going there again with him. He cannot be trusted. I keep seeing all the things that I thought would be. All the promises. All the hopes that he'd actually ever care for me. I allowed him to keep me in this situation because I was completely blind to his crap and lacked the confidence to walk away. At least I have that now--not without pain.

 

Anyway, I am not sure what to do with myself now, but I cannot let go of these dang memories and crushed dreams. I hope they go away in time... I am feeling incredibly vindictive right now and trying to control myself. I've stopped the messages to him, I doubt he read them anyway. But I needed to be sure that there would never be another hope that he'd want me. I needed to make sure that this ship has sunk so that when I miss him, he'll stay away.

 

Love sucks and I will never be able to trust another again.

 

That's my story... at least the gist of it.

[browneyedgirl36]

Ramsickle --

 

I am familiar with your story, and I honestly think that, as painful as this is, it is absolutely for the best. You've been going back and forth with this guy for a LONG time, and he has NEVER taken any steps toward being with you in any sort of meaningful way whatsoever. I think you've always known that he was never going to want anything serious with you, but you did like many of us do, hung around hoping that he change his mind. It never works. I say this from experience, as I've been there myself. My situation is a bit different, as I actually was with someone who wasn't over his ex, and I kept hoping that if we just kept seeing each other and he could see how great I am, he'd forget about her and want to be with me. Well, he did see how great I am -- he told me how great I am, a million times, but, in the end, he still passed. He was waiting, hoping for his ex to come back, and in fact, she did. Painful stuff, but I have to be honest with myself -- as do you -- and realize that he was pretty much letting me know all along that he wasn't *available* for a relationship, for whatever reasons.

 

The most important thing for you to do is stop talking to him for GOOD. Block him so that he can never IM you again. Delete his phone number so that you cannot text him. If he does contact you, don't reply at all, ever. Him telling you you're "crazy" was not very cool, but he probably felt inundated by all the angry contact from you, and since he is seeing this from a totally different place than you are, he probably thinks he did nothing wrong at all, and he's thinking "What the heck is she so pissed about?" I'm not excusing his behavior, just pointing out that he's in his own little world and has an entirely different perspective.

 

I know it's painful, but maybe getting him out of your life for good -- which is what you really, really need to do -- will set you on the road to putting him behind you and moving forward.

[ramsickle1369]

he probably thinks he did nothing wrong at all, and he's thinking "What the heck is she so pissed about?"

 

Yup... I'm positive that's what he's thinking. He doesn't realize he was screwing with my head. Good riddens!

 

Thanks for the kind words...

[ramsickle1369]

I am so regretting my actions this weekend. I acted a total fool. I don't like the person he makes of me and I become incredibly uncontrolled when he does his stupid stuff. I should not have reacted to him blowing me off the way I did. It was the final straw, yes, but I went totally overboard and said many things I totally regret. That is not something I usually do. Now I am dealing with the regrets that I blew up. Gosh... he makes me such a fool. I know now that I can't do this any more... I am definitely writing it off--even tho I miss it already...