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I'm feeling like a bit of an idiot at the moment because 5 days ago I sent this girl I've know for over a year a love letter and I haven't heard back from her. I would love for her to say she feels the same way about me, and I could cope with a no, but the silent treatment is far worse.


I've got quite alot of mixed signals from her. The first time we hooked up she took me around the places she grew up and hadn't been there for a while as if to welcome me in her life.


At times I've been the first person she has called when she had stuff on her mind and I always listened to her.


Timing was wrong for a while because she suffered from depression and I didn't feel it would have been a good idea to make a move then. She had to deal with her issues without the added pressures that a relationship brings.


At times we would get very close but then she always seemed to push me away and I wouldn't hear from her for a while. To deal with her insecurity (go figure gorgeous & talented) she took a performing arts course and invited me to it. At the end she asked me back to her flat, I thought there would have been quite a few friends of hers, but it was just the two of us. Well until a random appearance by her brother and cousin.


When we met up we would talk for ages about everything and anything. We have so much in common it's unreal.


But everytime that we got close she would pull away again. Who knows maybe she was waiting for me to make a move.


I've never been sure about the signals I would get. We could go from emailing each other at work all day to suddenly just getting quick messages like "sorry, been busy can't really talk" and not hearing from her for weeks.


Then all of sudden it would start up again, she would invite me over or come and see me and the closeness we had was well...quite something.


In the last few months I've had the feeling that maybe, just maybe, she did feel the same way about me and was waiting for me to make a move.


She would come round to see me and we would go for a walk with the dog by the river . When she left I realised I had fallen in love with her but then as usual nothing for a couple of weeks.


Then all of a sudden she invited me over to hers, we went for a drive and then she invited me to her gig on friday. As I got to the venue she shouted me over from accross the street while she was with her friends. I thought that was quite promising During her set she would turn around at me when she could. I could tell she was looking for me but didn't want to make it too obvious.


Then at the end of the night she grabbed me as I was leaving. She sneaked out and left her friends and band behind to sit in the car with me and reallly started flirting. Lifting her skirt and telling me how soft her legs were and so on and for the first time in my life I didn't know what to do. I fell in love with her and was afraid that she didn't feel the same way.


So I spent last weekend writing her a letter. Went as far as telling her that we are twin flames and she totally rocks my world, and then silence...not a single word.


Thoughts anyone?

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I think that from what ive heard of her that may not have been the best course of action

still.. you were honest and thats got to count for something

In any case im not trying to be horrible

but sometimes girls flirt

and dont necessarily want declarations of undying love in return...

it kinda stems from the fact that we want to feel attractive and sexy

but on the other hand

i personally find it really hard to flirt with a guy that im not attracted to

like many of my other girlfriends

so in that sense there probably is something there

however.. you cant be entirely sure that she reciprocates your feelings until you hear from her as she sounds like a pretty complicated person

but if she doesnt reply to your letter then in my mind that just shows a blatant disregard of your feelings and emotions and slight cowardice

on the other hand

it is soo hard to tell guys how you feel sometimes honestly




i wish you luck

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Thanks for your honest words...


I agree that I have come on quite strong. I felt I had to because I couldn't keep it inside of me any longer. I feel quite relieved that I have...


I'll tell you my story and I hope it doesn't sound crazy...


About 5 years ago I split up from a ltr with a borderline bi-polar girl. She got up one day walked out and told me never to speak to her because she would never answer me. A promise she has kept to this day...I would like to add to protect the innocent (me) that I had never done anything to this girl to hurt her when she went through another personality change...but anyway I digress.


I was hurting quite a bit at the time and one day, when I was standing at the top of the stairs in my house I saw a shooting star. I wished that my ex would find inner happyness even if it meant that we would not be together. Then I thought "what a waste of a wish" she doesn't care about me, so I made a second wish. More of a what I would wish for the next time I so a shooting star.


This is were it gets a bit weird. Without knowing it I wished for my twin flame. I asked for someone who was as right for me as I would be for her, and petite, dark hair, blue eyes, cute as hell ass, described cup size too. But then I also asked that she would be funny, smart, strong and independent. A balance of male and female qualities. Artistic, had to play guitar, good with kids and animals. She had to have experienced depression at some point in her life, I asked for same backgrounds and then at the very end I asked that to be sure that this was the girl for me our numbers had to match up. Star signs, chinese year & numerology. I also asked that I would be as good for her as she is for me, and well, a karmic disclaimer to go with it. Asking for someone to come into my life rather than trying to attract someone. We also both had to be single and must have experienced living alone.


Never thought much of that wish until 3 years later when I saw a medium.


Now people may have different opinions on mediums, please put them aside. I can be just as skeptical.


I didn't want to go and see her but ended up going despite flooded roads. In an audience of 100 people hoping for 3 minutes of her time, she came to me at half time and offered me a private reading.. She gave me some incredibly accurate information (best friend, Rickard died 19 cancer). She got the swedish name right...I live in Scotland. Quite random.


Amongst many other very accurate things she said...she told me I saw a shooting star, that I saw it when standing at the top of the stairs and had made 2 wishes. The first, she smiles, was a selfless wish, in the second I asked for someone to come into my life.




She then asked me who the petite girl with the dark hair and the blue eyes was...I said nothing...didn't want her to know I hadn't met her...so she told me that we would be happy together, we would have children and there would be loads of laughter in our lives.


3 days later Nic walked into my life and with it every part of my wish had started to come true.


Dark hair blue eyes, cute as hell ass & b-c cup size...check!


Single, recently split up (has remained single since). As I got to know her turns out she plays guitar and sings (i'm sure she sang at me and I had goosebumps). Ended up getting a dog. Female with male dog. I am male with female cat...the balancing of male and female qualities (few more examples in personalities). Oh where was I...smart...check...funny good with kids and animals check. We both hate mushrooms and scourers...oh one more I hate opening letters...we both do that as well. Let's add in that she is caring and loyal and well everything I could have wished for and there are many small things about her that well, they sit right.


Great...so where are the numbers...here they come...


Both cancerians...good start. Tiger and dog in chinese astrology...perfect match...and then the numbers...in numerology my dob is a 7 (add each individual year) 7 being spiritual perfection (I dabble in spiritualism) and she is a 3 divine perfection.


There are actually more numbers behind it all and it seems that as we slowly got to know eacher other another piece of that wish would come true. I'd like to say I am not crazy, but I clearly must because there are many other numbers that seem to match. That wish was way too specific, and somehow everything came true. How bizarre.


How random that I see a shooting star and make 2 wishes. The first for someone else, the 2nd for me, and I am so descriptive in that wish. Then 3 years later a medium comes along, gives me enough information to know that she ain't just pulling it out of thin air, mentions the shooting start, the location, and both the wishes, describing the first as a selfless wish. Then 3 days later we meet, and in a year and a half she actually fulfills that wish down to the smallest of numbers. One in a billion chance?


Oh...in that wish I also asked that we be friends first. Should have wished that she threw herself at me...


Well, there are quite a few more incidences where the coincidence of it happening is so remote that it feels like divine intervention...


Phew...thank you for letting me get that off my chest...


Anyway...on to the letter. Yes, I did come on strong I know I did. But I couldn't hold it in me any longer and well, I couldn't tell her I loved her without her knowing how much I did. I left out some of the extreme weirdness. Hand written, sealed in wax and sent it.


So she either:


1. Feels something for me and she needs time...hence the delay.

2. She is totally freaked by it hence the instant decline.


But we're friends, we've talked into the early hours of the morning on quite a few occasions. Oh kinda seemed to happen of full moons as well...mmm...


To complicate matters a little further we work in the same building...

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That's an amazing story. Thank you very much for sharing. These days, not many people have such pure and innocent faith in the spiritual worlds.


If you're confident that this is the girl you asked for, then you two will surely overcome all obstacles between you.


If she doesn't answer in a few days, you should confront her directly and ask her what she thought about the letter.

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Thanks Imprecision, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Pure and innocent? I'll take that...lol.


Meeting this girl has questioned my entire spirituality. If I were to describe my ideal girl, it could easily be her. She has so many positive qualities to her that I could easily have fallen for her without the spiritualism.


I really don't know what to make about it because it feels like I am insane talking about twin flames, mediums and wishes on the back of a shooting star.


When I am around her I feel my heart vibrate in a manner it has never done so before. I enjoy her company, respect her opinions, love her sense of humour and her personality and I will happily listen to her when she is sad and be there for her as long as she is happy.


Now this is probably the part where I should be locked up...


All of my life I have had this feeling that I was looking for someone. I know this is a common emotion in people but the first time I had that feeling was when I was 8 years old. I remember feeling this energy shoot through me and thinking "I'm closer". Maybe because she had just come to this world. Who knows.


At the age of 18 and 21 I felt that same energy again and that is what made me leave the country I grew up in and move towards Scotland. Somehow I knew that is where I would find her.


Surprisingly at those ages she would have been 10 and 13, two very important moments in her life. Suicide of her father and a stepfather who is a bit of a ******(self censorship). Am I reading too much into this?


That same energy that I have felt in those key moments is the same energy I felt when I first met her.


She had just started working in my office when she walked up behind me one day. Before I even saw her my heart just started to vibrate and it felt like "this is it, it's you!" and as she walked by I saw the cutest ass, the dark hair and a lovely bounce in her step. When she turned around I saw the gorgeous smile and the blue eyes and I felt like I had found her.


I went up to her manager (my friend) and asked him who she was. He told me straight up she had a boyfriend and I though "Oh well, can't be her" as I thought that when we met we would both be single but I also remember wishing her happyness and wished that she was happy in her relationship.


Still that moment re-ignited something in me that I thought I lost, the ability to read auras. At times I would glance at her from afar and in the middle of a call centre I could read her aura as clear as daylight. In the past I would be able to do this in quiet surroundings, but with her it felt like I was reading myself, like I had a blueprint of her.


The first time we met and first spoke was a year later and by then she was single...


For her last birthday I bought her an amethst tree. We had made plans to meet up in the evening a while back, I think it was a thursday. That day she emailed me and asked me down to hers for lunch. When I got her the amethyst tree was by the window...was she calling out for me?


Apart from the spiritual signs I am getting mixed messages from her. Very close one minute and very distant the next and that worries me but the feeling when we are around is something else. Makes me think that maybe I really have met my twin flame.


Anway...tried to avoid her today. Went for lunch late so I would be back late and would miss her going for hers. Turns out she left late and we crossed paths in the middle of the car park. A while ago I would have been really happy to see her but this time I wanted to avoid her. She looked busy on her phone (because she saw me?) anyway, she smiled and said hi and said she would phone me. It felt orchestrated...


Not replying feels a bit like emotional abuse. Witholding closure, and emotions. Like this she is in control of them and my last relationship was an emotionally abusive one.


OMG I can really type when I get going.

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Declaring undying love when you haven't really been on a real date can really scare some people.


When you send such a letter, you are basically demanding that she step up to your same level of connection and fantasy (or hope of what the relationship will be), when you have't even gotten out of the starting gate yet.


So even if she's flattered, you're putting a lot on her plate in terms of expectations. To tell the truth, the appropriate thing would have been to ask her on a formal date, and then take it from there.


You've basically thrown down the gauntlet and said to her, 'this is true love,' when maybe she's just at the flirting stage. Women can be very leery of potential stalkers too, so you have to backpeddle from this hard and fast if you want to try to salvage it.


I'd try to call her on the phone and talk to her, tell her you got carried away with her wonderfulness (is that a word)? But what you really meant to do was ask her on a date, and is she still interested. If the answer is no, you have to back off.

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Yeah it's called a bomb because you toss it and hope it blasts them into some great awakening or awareness of hidden feelings for you.Most of the times they miss or blow up in your face.It's best not too tell someone you love then unless you're actually dating them for a reasonable time and you think they feel the same way.

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Thank you, that is good advice. You are right, by doing this I am throwing the gauntlet down and asking her to connect on the same level as myself, and it is a lot to throw down. I didn't mean it that way but come to think about it, it is quite a selfish thing to do. Treat others as you would like to be treated yourself...thank you. Surrounded in spiritualism and romanticism it was my behaviour that was emotionally abusive.


She said she would phone me tonight and she never did. I can understand why, so I thought about sending her an email instead.


Hey Nic,


I owe you a massive apology for sending you that letter and throwing that kind of emotional bomb on you.


Crossing each other in the carpark used to feel like a ray of sunshine but yesterday felt awkward and I am really sorry.

So before we cross each other again, and feel that we have to look away, please let me say how foolish I have been.


I got carried away by some really weird stuff and said way more than what I should have.


I guess what I was trying to say is that I really care about you and if you're still interested I was wondering if you would like to go on a date sometime?




If wonderfulness is not a word then it should be one.


Thanks, had to hear that.

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After writing tons of love letters to a few girls I found out that they work only in movies...


Maybe not tons but I have written love letters to a few girls as well but we were going out together. This is a first! As for them only working in the movies I don't know, it would be nice to prove you wrong.


I emailed her this morning. When I got to send the message I looked at the time and it was 11:10 so I thought I might as well wait until 11:11...why not.


She answered quite quickly and I couldn't bear to read it, so I went for a drive and psyched myself up to hearing that she didn't want to hear from me again.


Well, I was wrong...


She told me I shouldn't be sorry and that she has a lot of respect for me and that it was a lovely letter and that it must have taken me alot of courage to write it. She said that she didn't read the letter until late in the weekend and that she was really busy but she did want to talk to me but she would be busy tonight and tomorrow.


So I wrote back and told her that I did feel that I needed to apologise, not because of the way I feel but because I did drop quite a bombshell which was quite selfish as I didn't think how she would feel about it. I left it saying that I'm glad she was cool about it and that a chat is always nice.


I'm totally glad that she is still talking to me because she would have been entitled not talk to me.


I guess it's promising that she does want to talk about it. She hasn't said no so far but maybe that's what the phone call is for.

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Apologies if this turns out to be a long post but I've been doing alot of thinking over the last couple of days.


Last night I kind of expected a call from her. We had bumped into each other on Monday and she said she would phone me, Tuesday I apologised and she told me I shouldn't be sorry, lovely letter, must have taken a lot of courage and so on. She said she hadn't received the letter till later in the week and had been really busy (her mum is going through a separation from her step-father whom she hates) and that she really wanted to talk to me but would busy on Tuesday and Wednesday. So that kind of implied that she would have phoned on Thursday.


Yesterday I really debated if I wanted to talk to her or not. I figured it would be healthy to at least get closure and lay this "spiritual fantasy" behind.


Surprisingly she never rang (which I have to say I kinda expected) and today at work I got an email from her saying that she was doing overtime (true, work in same building) and that she wanted to phone but that she didn't want to go into details. Just that she had to go down to the police station, had a bruised arm due to a troublesome neighbor. (I know the story the guy is a bit of a ****.


Nothing wrong with that...but then she said she would be doing more overtime at the weekend and that she would call me if she was free and added a smiley.


Well that was it.


Wrote back, made chit chat, hoped she was ok, that I had a meeting in 15 minutes and that then I had the rest of the day off. Told her I had a busy weekend ahead. Airport run tonight, out with friends saturday and festival on sunday.


At the very end I said " Look, there's no need to phone, I finally get it." and clicked send.


It feels like I have broken up from her.


She still hasn't told me how she feels about me. I can only but assume from the lack of enthusiastic response that she doesn't feel the same way about me. But then again maybe she does and just needs time to think and has genuinely been busy. Maybe she just wants to take things slowly. Who knows.


Someone earlier mentioned that we hadn't even been on a date. Well, what's the difference between a date and hanging out just the 2 of you? Maybe I should start a different thread on this topic, but you are still getting to know each other by spending time just the 2 of you.


We live in different towns which is quite akward, but she has come to see me on a few occasions, I've cooked dinner, we've been to a gig together, hung out at hers quite often (easier due to work) and we have come to know each other quite well. At one point she told me that she trusted me, which I appreciated and then made a point of mentioning it again. Everytime we got close though she pulled away.


She's taken me to places where she's grown up and hadn't been there in a long time, showed me a photo of her dad who had killed himself when she was 10.


She would flirt. I had commented on her sexy ass and she made a point of making sure I got a good look at it on a few occasions.


Bottom line is that even though she told me that she trusted me, and that she respected me, she obviously doesn't. I mean 12 days and still no answer. It only takes a couple of minutes to send a text to say "Thanks for the letter, sorry I don't feel the same, speak later" or "I need to think".


I don't know what I thought she would say to the letter. I hoped that she felt the same way and I would respect her wishes if she didn't, but I didn't expect...the silent treatment.


She should have aknowledged it. I think it is quite cowardly not to respond, it's like witholding closure. I've been in one emotionally abusive relationship, I am not walking into another. Witholding of emotions, like closure, is an emotionally abusive behaviour. Fair enough if we had just met, but we have known each other for a while.


It's a shame about the spiritual side of things. Maybe it really was just a fantasy. Part of me is still hoping that she does phone me anyway during the weekend and that she has genuinely been busy.


Pure and innocent faith someone said? Maybe it is. What I feel for this girl is stronger than anything I have ever felt, maybe this is the point where you question your faith and your beliefs.

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Thanks for sharing my pain and wishing me luck. I appreciate that.


Now I'm thinking I should text her and say sorry for pushing her away and that I would like to talk, but then again it is probably best if I say nothing at all.


I can't believe she tells me trusts me and respects me and then has this total disregard for my feelings. With behaviour like that I don't want her as a friend either.


Maybe she did have a genuine reason not to call last night, but it was the whole "if I am free at the weekend I'll phone" part that really did not sit right. She said she really wanted to talk about but it's hard to say if that was because we bumped into each other or if she genuinely meant it. The fact that she wants to talk about it is good, but all this does is she keeps me hanging.


Maybe the whole point of talking is to see how things are, and maybe start taking things slowly, or maybe she doesn't feel anything at all.


Ahhh who knows. Either way I had to stand my ground when I told her not to worry about phoning because I finally did get it.

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Yes, no contact is best from my part and I better resign myself to the fact that I am probably not going to get an answer.


It doesn't matter though. If she had said "no" at the beginning I would have hurt from it, but because she hasn't said anything I see her in a different light and that makes healing much better.


Knowingly or not she is witholding closure. She must know that I was waiting for an answer, and even if that answer was no at least I would have been able to start healing. Instead nothing, and that is far worse.


If she does feel something then that's just as bad because she obviously can't tell me about it and communication is quite important in any relationship.

If she can't find 5 minutes to give me closure on something like this then I wonder what it would be like in a relationship.


As for taking time off for myself, that's never a problem. Out tonight with the boys & festival tomorrow should be good.


As for the next time not going down the friends route and asking for a date. All my past relationships have involved sex early on...I probably ended up liking them more than I should have because of the sex. This time round it would be nice to like someone unconditionally for who they are and have sex as the icing on the cake. So I don't really regret the friends route. The part I regret is that despite many close moments there really wasn't much friendship cause if there was then she would have told me earlier.

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Seems like she's pulling another one of those "disappear for a week then magically show up again" moves...


edit: Just read the recent posts and all I can say is she will contact you again, she will take you up on that roller coaster, and then down, and spin you around...do you want to ride it???

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Thanks for your insight bijoux, if you could give kudos to members on this forum I would definetly have clicked your scale.


Your asking a man if he wants to ride her?


The thing is your words strike very close to the heart because my last relationship was a rollercoaster ride with someone who was/is bi-polar. I came out of that relationship quite battered and bruised and it took a while to heal. I used to wonder why I didn't see the signs earlier, or why I chose to ignore them, but now one of those red flags seems to be waving right infront of my face.


I really do think that this girl is my twin flame and it is said that before someone can unite with their twin flame they must have experienced many lessons of love, loss and grief to deal with the intensity of being with their twin flame.


I also think that she will call but I can not keep hanging on. I laid my emotions bare and I need to heal. It feels like I am at a major crossroad in my life. I have switched my phone off and intend to keep it off for the weekend and do some thinking.


If I mean anything to her she will chase after me...

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Men...we are so stupid.


Avoidance is not the answer. Switched my phone back on. If she phones it would be nice to talk, if not then I am still in the same position and then I'll be able to draw my own conclusions.


I said alot to her. Not everyday does someone declare their love in such a manner and say that they are someone's twin flame. So if she needs time and has been busy then so be it...


At the same time I also have to be firm. She has a track record of getting close and pulling away, but also one of getting closer every time. Maybe she is just testing the waters...


I think I am ready for the rollercoaster ride.

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You remind me of someone I met 20 years ago and had a roller coaster ride with. She reminds me of me.


One special guy loved me with his entire being and I simply couldn't reciprocate because of my life circumstance. I put him through a lot of grief because I couldn't help it. We broke up, nearly destroying him.


We came together again five years later and, still, I was unable to reciprocate. I just couldn't. I had walls.


If he were to come back into my life at this age, our relationship would have the best chance of working out. I've changed and come into my own and I could give back if given the chance, but we weren't ultimately meant for each other.


I'm telling you this because I feel you made yourself vulnerable to her and perhaps she isn't at a place in her life to reciprocate. You did kinda hit her outta the blue, yet I am a bit disappointed that she isn't handling your feelings with more regard. It seems no answer is her answer.


If you are indeed meant for each other then it shouldn't be this hard. You are more valuable than a roller coaster ride. You deserve better than this.

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Thanks for your story afonselaca.


I never thought I would love someone with my entire being, but it seems like I do. I guess I've learned that I can love unconditionally.


Your insight is very honest. I see the walls she is facing, I see through them. One evening while we were hanging out she let me read her aura, and it was then when she let all of her barriers down. Her eyes sparkled and in that split moment I saw past every wall and saw the warmest, most creative and passionate person.


I hope that she is at a time in her life where she can let go of those barriers so maybe no answer is the right answer as she needs time to think. I think she's confused.


I know that she has done alot of soul searching in the last year so I guess that's promising.


I have made myself vulnerable and maybe so it should be. Maybe by making myself vulnerable I am showing her that I am strong and confident or maybe I am just a fool.


This week we are both on the same shift. We work in different departments but there is a strong chance that we will bump into each other. Oh and that dreaded work email that we have used thousands of times to talk about everything and anything.


My last words to her were that I finally get it and declined the option of a callback. I've never pushed her away so far so maybe that will have made her think.


Bijoux seems to think that she will make contact. I guess I'm just gonna have to wait and see.

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I still haven't heard from Nic since last friday and I can tell that there are some weird vibes. It feels that she is trying to tell me "I'm here", but we have managed to avoid bumping into each other at work.


I was outside having a cigarette and saw her walking in and thought I would read her aura. I don't know if I should have, but I did anyway. I wasn't expecting to see her hurting, and quite deeply as well. I can tell she is confused, if it's because of me I don't know. But then just as I thought I would look deeper her mood lifted, I wonder if it was because she "felt" me.


Ok...enough of the psychic-babble.


Tomorrow night there is a leaving do where we are both invited. My buddy, who also happens to be her first manager (who she got along with well) is leaving so there's potential to bump into each other.


Who knows. I've got major mixed feelings.


The silent treatment didn't really go down. I class it as emotional abuse as it is witholding emotion (being positive or negative) and controlling of the situation. The abuser was once the victim and that is where the behaviour stems. Sucidal dad and dysfunctional step-dad.


It's a bit of a red flag to me because my ex was quite emotionally abusive during her borderline mood swings. I Don't know if I can even be friends with someone like that. Once a cheater always a cheater they say, the same lies true here.


Ahhh who knows. Maybe this is the lesson I need to learn in order to be able to love unconditionally. Maybe there is a lesson for her to learn as well.


Either way I wrote her another letter telling her why I believe she is my twin flame, sealed it with wax while sitting in a circle of light. I don't plan on giving it to her unless we unite, but it felt good putting it all down and sealing it.

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Well I thought I would carry on updating my love dilemma. If anything it is quite interesting to re-read it and see where my head was at the time.


So...she never showed up for last week's leaving do. In a way I was quite glad because it meant I could concentrate on having a good night.


Bumped into her friend early on in the night and I am sure I caught her giving me an evil stare. We had some idle chit chat and then bumped into her again later on in the evening. She asked me how Nic was and I was quite evasive. It's not a coversation I was willing to have with her.


Anyway, today we had contact. Short email from her asking me how I was and what I had been up to. I answered back and her second email was quite long, telling me among other things that it's her brother's birthday tonight and she was going to give blood for the first time today.


So she has made contact after all. Playing with me or testing the water?

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