suddenlyalone Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I am not sure what I am looking for on here or in life but I know I need advice and support. I was in a long term relationship (3+ years) and had found the love of my life. About three months ago she found out by accident that I had purchased a ring (a family member let it slip) and since then she seemed to be a little distant and more apt to point out faults but we still seemed to be happy. About a week ago though she broke off our relationship. It blindsided me, although in hindsight I should have seen it coming as there were small signs. We have talked some since then and will have to have more contact as a lot of my stuff is still at her place and vice versa. The hardest part for me is that the last three years every significant event in life is bound in my memory to her. The restaurants I eat at, the movies I go to, the bookstores I visit all have strong memories of her. And because I had planned to marry her a lot of my future plans involved her. I am one class away from Graduation and we had discussed graduation plans so now my schooling feels like a letdown. I know these feeling are raw right now. I gave up a lot of things to be with her as we had to move for me to finish school and for her to help out an ailing family member so currently I live with my mother as we were saving up for graduation and other plans and we had sold my old car and were sharing hers. Where I felt a month ago that my life was full of possibilities I now think that there is nothing in my future. My friends have all graduated and moved so I feel completely alone, unmarketable to any future girl (which my friends have told me to start thinking about but it is the furthest thing from my mind) and I can't stop crying because every picture on my camera, the screensavers on my phone and my pc, the movies I have bought, the books, music etc . . . are reminders of her. And I still love her with all my heart. More than love her. I saw us growing old together. I am literally crying most of the day and I am a guy. My family is supportive but they are religious and just tell me it is God's plan which make me feel worse. I have no idea which way is up or down or sideways and at this moment I feel like my life has ended even though rationally I know it hasn't. I want to jointly find out why we broke up and fix it because I really thought and imagined that this is the person I would be with forever and can't imagine what happened to make that change. I know her mother went though a string of not very nice men so she is leary and she mentioned that she wanted everything to be perfect in a relationship if it was going to be forever but I am the furthest thing from abusive or controlling so it is hard for me to fathom that she would be leary of a relationship with me but that seems to be where the split occurred. And that makes me question myself because is there something I could have done to make it better? I apologize for rambling as I am lost and hurt and can't understand how two weeks ago I was making plans for us and we and now I face it all alone. Thank you in advance for bearing with me Link to comment
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