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Do they ever come back?

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I would have to say its a "speech" or "saying"...although i have said this same phrase to a very good friend of mine a long time ago....


He followed the advice....and next thing you know well....they are married.

My friend then reminded myself of the advice i once gave to him...and he thanked me for it....which i thought was insignificant at the time...was valuable to another....


In conclusion...I would say it can go either way....just depends on the person and i guess the situation....if its meant to be...it will.



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I assume from your post that you were the one letting go. Obviously, there were feelings on your side but what happened that you had to let go of this person (or that they let go of you)? What was the reason for the letting go?


If you were truly connected with your partner and there was love on both sides, at least in the beginning. Unfortunately, you or your partner was loving only part of the time. The rest of the time, he or she may have been hurtful and damaging. The relationship is behind you, but you are still having trouble letting go emotionally. The question is how do you let go of the living, breathing partner who you love and yet who is not good for you?


The first step is to understand that your partner would have given you the moon and the stars if he could. Even when they appeared to be holding back or hurting you on purpose, he was always doing the best he could. Understand that he never intentionally hurt you.


He may hurt you tremendously, and yet he is doing the best he can. Choosing healthy partners is in part choosing partners who have learned they don't need to be in survival mode in a relationship.


To let go of your past relationship, forgive your ex, forgive yourself, and understand that his behavior was not your fault. Sometimes they may have been wonderful (or horrible).


Secondly, do something to honor and cherish the true connection between the two of you. In fact, you may need to honor that connection for a long time. There was a wonderful part of them, a loving and nurturing part. There was love for you, there may still be love for you. You may always love that part of your ex.


Your partner may have been giving their all to the relationship (maybe not). But understand I am not saying your ex-partner will change and become more of what you wanted. Most likely, he will remain exactly how he is, at least as far as you are concerned.



For a humorous version of this, check out the following link:


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If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, It will always be yours.

If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.

But, if it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn't appear

to realize that you had set it free.....

You either married it or gave birth to it.

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Hi Needafriend


The saying in full is


If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, It will always be yours.

If it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with.


It's important that you you can accept that they were never yours in the first place if they choose not to come back. That is a very difficult thing to do.


In searching for inspiration, it sounds like you're clinging on to hope (which may or may not be there) when the only way to deal with a break up is to look after yourself.


Letting somebody go who wants out is the only way of maintaining any self respect and any respect in the eyes of the one who (once) loved you. Without that, you can almost guarantee that they won't come back. If they respect you, then it is for them to decide (at a later date) whether or not they still love you. It's nothing to do with you and that saying is encapsulating that.



Having said all this I recently got in touch with a girl who's heart I broke after eight years of 'No Contact'. Over the last six months we've developed a very close friendship and that relationship is far healthier than anything we had before when we had plans to spend the rest of our lives together. And anything could happen in the future. I think it's too strong to say that things are fated, but you have to accept that ones future is influenced by factors outside of your control.

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