The official "dumper's remorse" thread

[fivespot]

As a dumpee who is still hurting pretty badly from a breakup a few months ago, I'd appreciate anyone who'd like to share their stories of when they were a dumper but later regretted their decision.

 

I've heard the best revenge for a dumper is living a happy life without them. And that's what I'm trying to do. But I'd like to hear some stories, not necessarily for "false hope" to think someday she'll come back, but more to know that our exes don't stop thinking about us and that there are some times they might regret the breakup.

 

If you were in this situation, what did you do about it? Did you try to get back with them? What about when you found out they were with someone new?

 

I've got a friend who, in the same month, had two exes come back to him, begging him to take them back. But he stayed with his current gf, though sometimes he says he wonders if he made the right decision in that case.

 

It's been a few months since then...one of his exes has disappeared and the other is still trying.

[cristal]

I have not been much of a dumper, but from my experiences, the ones who came back and who really wanted to pick up where we left off, much of the times I had moved on. I don't know why it worked out that way, but it was good for my ego. After the intial phase of them coming back wore off, I became bored with them.

 

The ones that I was not quite over, when they reconnected, it was just to feel me out. They had no real desire to pick where we left off. They were looking for an ego boost and/or to relieve guilt.

 

The best advice that I can offer you, is to try to accept that they are gone. Realize that you still have a life to live, with or without them and re-focus on enhancing your life with whatever projects that you have pushed aside for them.

 

Eventually, the new life that you have cultivated independent of them, might not be exactly what you want, but it will become somewhat "normal".

[ccali78]

I dated a guy once that I treated like crap. The reason being is I was told he was a player and I was not going to be played so I strung him along and would not let him in. I would break up with him and when he started dating again I would call say I wanted him back and he would come. Then he found another girl he really liked. I called and he said he was dating someone now this bothered me. He was really a great guy and I let him go because of what I had heard about him. He ended up marrying the girl and having kids.

 

I sometimes wonder what if... I ran into him a few years ago he said hi to my friend and when I said hi to him. He said I am married now with kids and just stared at me all night. I felt horrible but if he did not marry her and came back to me I probably would have done the same thing and lost a great guy at some point again...