helplesslyhoping Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 i would feel rejected and hurt if a man turned down my sexual advances. i don't think i'd do it again, probably wouldn't date him either. I totally agree. If a guy turns me down then I feel hurt, unatractive and foolish. I typically become very cold and standoffish after and don't typically continue to date him much longer. If you have made it clear in the beginning that you want to take it slow that's one thing, but if you flat out turn her down, don't expect to spend a whole lot of time with her from here on out. Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 I totally agree. If a guy turns me down then I feel hurt, unatractive and foolish. I typically become very cold and standoffish after and don't typically continue to date him much longer. If you have made it clear in the beginning that you want to take it slow that's one thing, but if you flat out turn her down, don't expect to spend a whole lot of time with her from here on out. In other words I am in danger of being put in the friendzone? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 To me a player isn't someone who is playing hard to get but it's someone who pretends to have interest in the girl when he really doesn't. In other words stringing a woman along is what makes a guy a player. Playing hard to get does not make me a player but rather someone who is concerned about not coming on too strong. but in your OP, you said you would play "hard to get"...what's up man...are you changing your story now? Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 I wish I read this post 2 months ago - I didnt realize how rejected women would feel if you slow down their advances ! GUTTED ! I thought they would only want a man more ! there's a difference between telling a woman you want to slow down, pace the relationship and get to know her, as opposed to shutting her down without an explanation. not to really stereotype or anything, but an attractive woman at a bar probably wouldn't have to do a lot of convincing to get a guy to go home with her. so when a guy does shoot us down, it's a case of 'i'm not attracted to you' and it kind of makes us feel like a ho by making an advance. society (or our mothers and grandmothers) tell us that 'good girls' don't chase men and certainly not for sex! so when we do, and we get shot down, we just think of what our grandmothers told us, and then we feel bad about ourself, for being the skanky girl. so, no, a guy rejecting my sexual advance isn't going to make me feel more for him, or more passionate. if he has a reason for holding off, that's fine. Link to comment
IdontknowNJ Posted July 5, 2008 Share Posted July 5, 2008 Does it turn women off if a guy backs away from her when she comes on to him sexually? What if he plays hard to get by saying "let's take it slow?", or "We should stop". Will this increase or decrease her interest level? As a man I am a big believer in playing hard to get even when I am in the mood for sex. I don't think it's possible to respect a woman's comfort level too much. What do you think? I'm thinking it's better for me to act like I don't want sex. I'm also a believer in being friends first with the girl until she asks me to be her boyfriend. I would be stumped only because most men don't turn sex when it's being offered to them (of course there are exceptions to the rule) but if it's someone I had been dating then of course it would confuse me. There's nothing wrong with waiting until you are both comfortable and for you wanting to develop a solid foundation before engaging in a sexual relationship but I would make it clear that those are the real reasons behind you wanting to wait otherwise she may interpret the situation entirely different (i.e. game playing or you trying to retain some level of control of her). Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 Does it turn women off if a guy backs away from her when she comes on to him sexually? All women are different. Some like this and some don't. I personally think a women would like it because it would be a challange(if something comes easy the first thing a person may do is try to figure out what's wrong with it or just looses interest/working for it is rewarding) then it could be a turn-on. Some wouldn't like it because it's like playing a game(which can be a turn off for more mature women) but it shows the guy (or girl) isn't needy or desperate for sex. This can be a turn on because it would be about respect for ones self(not to imply that peope who have sex quickly have no respect for themselves... that'd be ignorant) and the other to show that they have control over their sexual urges... It depends on the people. Link to comment
Ocean of Blue Posted July 7, 2008 Share Posted July 7, 2008 In theory it would work - but not in reality. Dude - I have done this recently. Not because I was playing hard to get simply because I was not in the best state to get laid w/ a girl. And the last thing I wanted to do was to be a flop in bed. I declined her subtle sexual advances in our 4th date. After date 6 she got rid of me. And I bet 1,000,000 usd it all started because of me not jumping into bed w/ her. On a scale of 1 to 10 she is a 7.5. When she is all dolled up at night she is a 8.5 - 9. My friend was dating a model and he did exactly the same thing. He turned her down 3 times. He was stupid because he was trying to be a challenge. He was also dumped. Morale of the story: If they say lets dance you say baby turn the music up ! Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 Okay then is it better for a guy to decline sex than for a guy to be sexually needy? Which one will push the woman away faster? Being sexually hard to get or being sexually needy? Link to comment
CaptainPlanet Posted July 8, 2008 Share Posted July 8, 2008 Refusing a females advance is generally a death kneel in my opinion it isn't fair that a man has to be ready at the womans beck and call but unfortunately that is how it has worked in my opinion. Even refusing a kiss by not responding to her body language will put her off you. Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 What if I turned the woman's sexual advances down and then became needy for sex a few hours later? Then would I just look worse in her eyes? I have been on both sides of this by the way. Not accepting her advances when she wants sex and then wanting sex badly a few hours to a day later. Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 8, 2008 Author Share Posted July 8, 2008 why would you turn the advances down, and then a few hours later come back? i can see if you are on the phone with your client or something, and she is massaging you, trying to get you in the mood, you might be like, 'not right now....' and then later that night you might try to find her again.... but it kind of sounds like you are trying to play a game, that's not really attractive. The reason I turn her down in the first place is to get reassurance that I have a say in our sex life too and it's not just on her terms only. I don't want it to be on her terms all the time. Why can't it be on mutual terms? Why should she get it on demand all the time? Link to comment
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