gracerules2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Does it turn women off if a guy backs away from her when she comes on to him sexually? What if he plays hard to get by saying "let's take it slow?", or "We should stop". Will this increase or decrease her interest level? As a man I am a big believer in playing hard to get even when I am in the mood for sex. I don't think it's possible to respect a woman's comfort level too much. What do you think? I'm thinking it's better for me to act like I don't want sex. I'm also a believer in being friends first with the girl until she asks me to be her boyfriend. Link to comment
Ocean of Blue Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I agree. The good ones will respect you (the keepers) The ones you want to avoid will dump you and look for {edit} somewhere else. I recently got dumped for taking it too slow. And judging from what I have seen it was a blessing in disguise. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I'm a firm believer in getting to know someone before getting involved sexually, but, I wouldn't like someone to play games with me. I'm all about respect. I agree about building a good friendship/foundation first. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 i would feel rejected and hurt if a man turned down my sexual advances. i don't think i'd do it again, probably wouldn't date him either. Link to comment
lady00 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I don't think playing hard to get with sex makes much sense. If one person initiates or suggests it and the other wants it to, why pretend otherwise? I think that's just gameplaying and it's a huge turnoff to me. It's one thing to say "well...I really want to but I want to wait to get to know each other better or are in a committed relationship." That's fine. It's another thing to just say no when you want it in order to raise the other person's interest level or make yourself seem harder to get. Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 i would feel rejected and hurt if a man turned down my sexual advances. i don't think i'd do it again, probably wouldn't date him either. Even if his intentions were good? Even if he was concerned about your comfort level and didn't want to take advantage of you? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Even if his intentions were good? Even if he was concerned about your comfort level and didn't want to take advantage of you? I know you asked this question to Annie, but in your OP, you said you wanted to "play hard to get"...no woman is gonna like that if she finds out you are playing her. There's a difference in holding off because you want the relationship to start off on the right foot, and playing games. Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 What if I'm holding back because I'm shy about my naked body? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 What if I'm holding back because I'm shy about my naked body? That's completely different than what you wrote in your post... Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I agree with Annie in the sense that if I made an advance and was turned down I would be hurt and feel unwanted by the person sexually. If I made the advance in anyway it would show that I'm ready to take it to the next step. Link to comment
McLovin oo7 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 i would feel rejected and hurt if a man turned down my sexual advances. i don't think i'd do it again, probably wouldn't date him either. Man, I dont have a chance in today's world then. Link to comment
Ocean of Blue Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Why do you say that McLovin ? Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Man, I dont have a chance in today's world then. Yes you do...lots of women hate rushing into sex. Link to comment
Ocean of Blue Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I wish I read this post 2 months ago - I didnt realize how rejected women would feel if you slow down their advances ! GUTTED ! I thought they would only want a man more ! Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Women don't want to be played, which is what the original post was about. Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I feel it’s important for a woman to feel wanted but not pressured. By respecting her boundaries that shows respect, by denying what you want and what she clearly is ready for starts making a woman (at least this one) feel that its all a game and not worth playing. I would respect any man who wanted to take it slow for their own reasons, but I would not be to happy if they took it slow only because that’s how they show they respect me when I'm ready to go faster. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Yeah, I agree with Allie. There is a big difference between rejecting the advances because you want to get to know them better before having sex, and rejecting the advances because you are playing a game to entice them. The former has honourable intent while the latter has dishonourable intent. With the latter, chances are that the games will continue to filter into various aspects of the relationship, not just sex. Link to comment
McLovin oo7 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Why do you say that McLovin ? Coz I am not into rushing things and I see most of the girls today (guys for sure) just want to rush things – specially when it comes to sex. So may be, I (and people like me if there is any) don’t have a chance today. In most of the posts, I read that if there is no sex after two three dates, people think about breaking up just because of this. I wonder how they would survive in a long term relationship because it’s not just about sex. May be a marriage of fifty years. But then again, everyone has different expectations from a relationship and they have every right to get whatever they want. If it is sex for you, go for it. Link to comment
HelplessHeart Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 I always had a problem with this too. I had a lot of women breakup with me because I asked to take it slow. At the same time i have broken up with women that wanted to wait until marriage. LOL. I have to reach a comfort area mentally with the person before I am willing. I had wished somtimes i was different in that area knowing what was coming if i didnt perform when they thru themselves at me (because i really did care for them). Funny thing is, if i didnt care for them a lot and just wanted sex it was no problem. So i guess i came up with if a woman cares about me she will want to take her time. I guess i am just weird. Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 Coz I am not into rushing things and I see most of the girls today (guys for sure) just want to rush things – specially when it comes to sex. So may be, I (and people like me if there is any) don’t have a chance today. In most of the posts, I read that if there is no sex after two three dates, people think about breaking up just because of this. I wonder how they would survive in a long term relationship because it’s not just about sex. May be a marriage of fifty years. But then again, everyone has different expectations from a relationship and they have every right to get whatever they want. If it is sex for you, go for it. Amen. A woman can always find a friend with benefits if sex is that important to her. Otherwise she has no right to complain. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Coz I am not into rushing things and I see most of the girls today (guys for sure) just want to rush things – specially when it comes to sex. So may be, I (and people like me if there is any) don’t have a chance today. In most of the posts, I read that if there is no sex after two three dates, people think about breaking up just because of this. I wonder how they would survive in a long term relationship because it’s not just about sex. May be a marriage of fifty years. But then again, everyone has different expectations from a relationship and they have every right to get whatever they want. If it is sex for you, go for it. Wow - Chivalry is not dead! Link to comment
McLovin oo7 Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Wow - Chivalry is not dead! It will never be dead Just getting rare and hard to find Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 It will never be dead Just getting rare and hard to find I sure know that's right! Link to comment
gracerules2008 Posted July 4, 2008 Author Share Posted July 4, 2008 I know you asked this question to Annie, but in your OP, you said you wanted to "play hard to get"...no woman is gonna like that if she finds out you are playing her. There's a difference in holding off because you want the relationship to start off on the right foot, and playing games. To me a player isn't someone who is playing hard to get but it's someone who pretends to have interest in the girl when he really doesn't. In other words stringing a woman along is what makes a guy a player. Playing hard to get does not make me a player but rather someone who is concerned about not coming on too strong. Link to comment
NametheGame Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 If you're just playing games, BIG turnOFF. If you genuinely want to take it slow and get to know each other better ect, BIG turnON. Link to comment
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