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Hey guys, Advice needed please!!, my ex girlfriend dumped me 4 months ago now, after 2 years saying she loved but was not in love with me, since then we met up got on well, and then met up and had the mother of all arguments, and then made up through text ( well, to a friendly level). I moved away, got a new job and got on with life, for the last 6 weeks I have felt honestly glad to be single, and enjoyed myself, dating and having fun, but for the past 3 days a sudden and unexpected wave of missing her came out of nowhere, I don’t know why or what triggered it. Anyway I text her saying “ hope your ok, miss you a tiny little bit ;-)”. And she replied saying “im good thanks, hope everything is well with you and then my pet name she used to call me”. I don’t know what to do now, im a bit confused but way past the stage of getting my hopes up. I was thinking of texting her saying something like “4 months on, and I still feel we had so much to not break up for, its like an itch I cant get rid of, but if ur decision to leave the relationship is and will always be valid, 3 months on I can accept it”. And maybe something funny and more light hearted at the end, is it worth it?, I don’t think it will set me back to the start of the healing process again, because I have put so many walls up against being hurt towards all this over the 4 months that im fully aware it may achieve either a none response or a response I wasn’t after, but I just don’t know if Its worth the risk anyway, she is a very stubborn girl, and im very confused!!

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Don't rip the scab off the wound.


You've already moved away from her, so it's not like you would be able to get back together with her, right?


I would just let it be. I'm sure it's like an itch you can't scrach, and, maybe some of the missing her comes from the fact that you've moved. But like you said, you've already moved on.


I would be looking forward to the NEW people you're bound to meet ;-)


My best to you



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She dumped you, said she was no longer in love with you...I would say that any reconciliation should be up to her to initiate given the way things ended. I think you did enough by saying you missed her. If she wants to try again she knows how to reach you. Don't set yourself up again..she will just mess you about.

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cheers guys, for once, for the first time in 4 months i actually am pretty relaxed, and have been thinking clearly, dated and enjoyed myself, fully knowing im not ready for anything yet, but there is and will always be a side of me with a huge soft spot for her, and i wish i could just bang our heads together and say " come on, you had a good relationship, neither of you cheated, you had similar upbringings, the same morals, made eachother laugh and loved eachothers families, snap out of it and work things out", but lifes not that simple!!

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I understand where you're coming from as I'm in the exact same place.

I think the reason it makes it harder for us to move on is cause there was nothing wrong with the relationship and you just wish the other person could come to their senses and realise what a great thing they've given up.

But from my experiences..Don't scratch that itch..cause it would take you back..mybe not to square one but definitely a few steps back in the healing process..

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well i think i just scratched it lol, she text back saying she has quit smoking, it annoyed me a little because that was the only thing i didnt like about her that helped me get over her, and now thats help has gone!!, she has become even more perfect and i dont get the benifit of it anymore, kinda annoying!!!

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