Treehugger Posted July 4, 2008 Share Posted July 4, 2008 Hey there people. My name is Deryn, and im new here so bare with me I am Currently in a LDR and have been together with my girlfriend for over a year a 2 months. Started April the 12th 2007. It Started when i was living in spain, as she lives in spain aswell, for the first 6 months we were together, all good you would expect, wrong. We have a weird relationship, she is 15 now, and i just turned 18. First she didnt tell her parents about me, but due to some girl, who become highly jealous of us, told her parents about Me and Saadia. The worst happened, her mother, who is a psyco beat her up =[ And as much as i wanted to do something i was unable to, because it would cause more problems. But she stayed with me, Saadia stayed with me but made a bunch of lies to her parents about us, enough to make them think we aint together no more. No Saadia when we first went out, was Emo, She drunk and Selfharmed herself. After a tough 4 months of us going i managed to *save* her. I stoped her drinking ( As when she was drunk, she would do things which would put her in danger ) and i stopped her self harming, she became a normal happy girl. Then i had to move to wales, to get an Education in college. Was hard at first but we passed the tough stage. I trusted her every moment. I love her, i honestly do and i trusted her. We now talk over msn, and phone calls, and i go to spain every 4-5 months. until this boy came into her life, her friend introduced him to her. He became hostile to me, as soon as i met him, over msn. I tried telling Saadia about this, but she didnt believe me until i showed her the conversation. We had argued about her not beliving me, was a really bad argument. So this guy who just popped into our lives created an argument straight away. She continued to be friends with him. He likes Saadias friend, loves her apparently. Well a week later he has asked her if he could see her in hot pants, ofc i found out ( funnily enough i find everything out, so she can rarely hide anything from me ) And i had threatend him, threatend to tell Saadias friend Which wouldnt give him a chance with her. He begged and cried to me not to. I didnt, i didnt want to swoop that low. I told Saadia that he likes her, she denies it over and over and over. We argued so eventually and finally she stop being friends with him? True she did, but was only a matter of time before they were best buddies again. Once again we argued over and over about this guy and eventually got it out of her, she admitted he likes her, and that he said "Saadia, would you go out with me if you wasnt with Deryn" that had annoyed me insanly. So after out argument, she deleted him from msn and stopped being friends with him. Week later friends again. This hurt me alot, cant describe it and i lost all my trust in her. Why would she keep going back to being friends with him after he causes us to argue and nearly break up, which we nearly did. And she went out with him for a day, at his house. She said she had to get out of her house, get away from her mother which is understandable. But why him of all people. I finally made her promise me not to be friends with him ever, because all we would ever do is argue cause of him. Was i right to stop trusting her that day? Or am i wrong? Now i find it hard to trust her, i always worry about where she is going and stuff. Even since that Jordan problem ( That guys name ) I have been unable to trust her. It has scarred me, it had hurt me to the point where i became depressed, first time ever. I love this girl to death, i wouldnt want any other girl. I do not want to loose her, i couldnt bare it. I had went to spain in Octorber, and April to see her, and eventually June. But in April i broke up with her, because i didnt want to feel like * * * * , worrying all the time. But after a day i realised how much i missed her, how much i needed her. Although we wernt together in person, just being together made me happy. When we broke up though, she was devistated, she cried for an entire day without stopping, a few friends told me as she went over a friends house. The net day she tried to quickly get over me, so she started talking to all these boys trying to make me jealous. I admit it worked, i got etremly upset, but eventually i told her how i felt and we got back together. But this one guy, James, continued to flirt with her ( They had known each other for years, they really liked each other at one pooint before we first went out. He now lives in wales ) he flirted with her, saying how much fun they will have together when he finally comes to spain. This made me upset, because she just cant seem to say "No, stop it please, im with Deryn" She hasnt got it in her to be mean to anyone. To threaten or tell me to stop or else. We broke up two more times with her doing the breaking up. because she couldnt handle the LD and us arguing alot since we first broke up. Which is mostly due to me, i admit because i know what makes her angry and said yet i still say them. We are still together thank god. Anyways, I feel we are unable to talk things through with each other. Because everytime i try to tell her, her problems or what makes me sad, we end up arguing and her saying i dont trust her. Which i kinda dont but do. I still find it hard to trust her completely. Like how i tell her she takes thigns the wrong way when ever i mention anything. When ever she meets a new boy, she becomes best pals with them and has them on their top friends on bebo. Its like she becomes obbssed, and she talks to them a hell of alot. She does go out alot with a few people, go to parties and stuff. I dont mind it although i do worry, which is understandable. Atm i have no friends who are girls, because i get the feeling if i get some, and go out with them alot, Saadia will end up going out alot more with boys. And i dont want that to happen. And i dont want any atm because i dont want her feeling like i do when she has guy friends who talk to her alot. So my question is, what do you guys think? I love this girl and i DO NOT want to loose her. But what advice can you give me regarding this. What can i do to improve the relationship, Or tell her. Sorry for the big wall of text and i appriciate any help. Thank you. Link to comment
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