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2 years later and still hung up on her

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Well, this myspace thing is really bad for me. I won't get rid of my profile because I have friends on there. I don't have my ex on my friends list though, and I've been NC for quite some time, at least 6 months.


Okay, I'll explain how I first started to begin my journey on the "getting over you" train.


We were a couple for 4 years, she moved upstate and a year later we broke up. She was on my friends list, and she would post surveys. In these little surveys, which I fill out too sometimes, she completely denied ever knowing me, ever being involved with me, and even being in love. The one about her never being in love hurt me the worst because she always told me she had been "so in love" with me. I know she was lying in this survey, probably to impress someone else on her friends list, but after all that denial, I deleted her. Now, a lot of people have said that what I did was stupid, and that I shouldn't have deleted her for such "stupid reasons," but to me, they're very important. The girl denied ever knowing me, being with me, and denied ever being in love before. Wouldn't that be important to you too? Someone you loved very deerly posting on a (stupid) survey that they never even knew you, or for that matter, have ever been in love in their life, when they've told you that they were incredibly in love with you.


Wow, I actually deleted her. Big accomplishment for me.


This was back in January. She must've recently went to my profile and saw that it was private and that she couldn't get in. So she wrote me a message the other day:


"your hair is soooo long. why'd you delete me? how are ya?"


UGH!!!!! W T EFF!!!!! Just leave me alone!


Lately she's been on my mind A LOT, and I can't seem to get her out of my head. I have deleted her from myspace, I have not visited her profile. I have taken her pictures down off my "wall of happiness" (people in my life that make me most happiest when I see their faces). I have done many many things to try to push her away and out of my mind.


Does she not get it?? I didn't respond to her message, but does she really not get it?? I don't want to talk to her, I want nothing to do with her. I even keep her family on my friends list still because I love them like my own siblings, but what's over between us is over, and I'm trying to get the point accross in a discreet way.


My Mother recently gave me some pictures that she says were from a long time ago. She hands them to me, without even telling me what the pictures were of. Well, they were me and my ex. I want to rip them to shreads, I think I will. What good are they doing me sitting on my office desk?


She's also seeing this new guy now... and its serious.


I feel like she's happy and I'm sitting alone in my house all depressed. And no, I don't wish for her happiness, I wish for her unhappiness. I don't think I'm still in love with her, and then some days I think I am. But what I truly want is my own happiness and getting over her. I want to move on already. I have dated since her... and it did nothing for me.


Any advice?

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Im the same my friend.


Its been a while for me too, almost a year.


I thought I was over her too, then I say her twice in a month, we never spoke, one of the times she was with a new guy, it was so hard.


I cheated on her and although I owned up, it was a huge mistake, I deserve my fate.


Shes probably happy now, we were together 4 years and yes I still miss her.


Ive dated too and it did nothing for me, until recently.


I met a lovely girl, but her work commitments meant we could only see each other once a week, she works 2/3 jobs, I was falling for her.


It was going nowhere, I had to be strong and I let her go, just yesterday infact, but I know in my heart it was the right decision, short term pain for long term gain.


It did however show me that there is hope out there, I had feelings for someone else, big breakthrough.


Unfortunately now im thinking of them both now.


But keep the faith buddy, things will get better, the sea is full of different, fish and plenty to go round.

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