Seeing ex for first time in months

[ShellyShamrock]

My ex and I were together for almost two years. We got along well; laughed a lot, talked openly, good sex etc...So this past summer he starts acting aloof. I picked up on this and asked him outright if there were any problems. At first he said no, but the next day said he was in denial and yes he was having problems with our relationship. However he did not want to work things out right then and there, and wanted "some space". "Some space" turned into him wanting to terminate our relationship; because it just didn't feel right. I didn't beg him to reconsider, but people could have probably heard my heart breaking from a couple of miles away, I was devastated. Using all my will power, I gave him some space; no phone calls unless he called me, no pages, no voicemails (you guys get the idea). So the summer ended with me heading back to college for my senior year, 300 miles away from him.

 

While at school, I became so busy that I had little time to get upset over him and have a wonderful counsler who helped me face the issues at hand revolving around the ex. My ex and I talked at first sparingly, he'd call once a week, sometimes more. I came home at Thanksgiving and saw him for the first time since August. Things seemed comfortable and we talked easily, and we had sex. Upon going back to school he called more frequently and started saying "I love you" just like when we were going out. So now it is winter break...I've seen him three times in 10 days, there was some sex, he still says "I love you" but there has been no mention of getting back together.

 

I would like some outside input on number of things: Is this a good time to mention getting back together, or should I wait for him to bring up the subject...since he was the one who initiated the break-up? Has anyone had a similar situation; did it work out? And from my conceise history of our relationship, do y'all think he is sincere or just playing me...I need some objective advice. Thanks!

[madison2021]

hi,

well heres some advice from someone whos been there

I have more than one been in that postion and held out hope that they would want to get back together but it never happens and if it does it wont work believe me...

i thought that was how all relationships were..that uncertaintity but my grandma always said to me one day ull find a man who will love you unconditionally and there wil be uncertainty

and i have found him and it is so nice to not be wondering what hes thinking or where we are in the relationship...but it took many men to find him and many men to find what i wanted

if this guy loved you he wouldnt hurt you...he wants what was best in the relationship...the sex but not the commiment

so end it and start dating again thats the only way you'll find the right guy for you

and when you do u will know hes the one because hes loves you more than anything

i hope this has helped you

 

No man or woman is worth your tears and the one who is wont make you cry

[Beec]

Couldn't tell you if he is sincere or not. Don't know him, don't know you, just don't know enough. He may love you, or he may not. The question you should first ask is do you want to know. You might be able to push him and find out whether you are on the road to being a WE or not. But if you are enjoying being with him and the sex, pushing him may get you a no and end the current status. Is he the type of guy who says "I love you" only when he means it? If so, your chances are better that he thinks you are a couple.

 

The way to find out what he thinks is to tell him, you need to know are we back together or not? Are we a couple or friends with benefits?

[bdub]

What ever you decide to do, I'd suggest that you don't just jump headlong back into the same relationship you had before. That one didn't work. If you get to the point where you are talking about getting back together, then I'd try to talk through whatever was bothering him before.

 

Just my two cents.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub