Feeling Like...Water

[Baudelaire]

Really long and really sorry heh....This is my first post here and not really sure what to say. I want help basically. First im beginning to just really not like my friends. There just not people I feel close to. Cant talk to them or trust them with anything for that matter. I have one true friend and thats bout it. Ive never had a close family outside of those in my house and I simply do not get along with my mom and sister at all, we fight every day. My parents got divorced when i was 5 and since we havent really spoken with my dad or his side of the family and those on my moms are either dead or we just rarely speak. The only girl i have EVER had a crush on has gone into solitude. She just doesnt go out at all anymore. I dunno just feel very alone and depressed all the time. Even when I do hang out with my friends I feel alone entirely. Work is a mess aswell. I dont socialize with anyone there. Their a circle of friends who dont take kindly to new comer's like me apparently. I recently quit the whole party scene. wont touch alcahol anymore. Occasionaly will smoke weed but only because it's relaxing. My birthdays around the corner and thats been kinda bringing me down even more. I dont want anything materialisic. Just wanna hold someone in my arms while we sleep. But thats not somehting you can ask for on a wishlist really heh. It's like im just fading away from existence entirely no real reason to live. The only thing ive ever wanted to do was travel but my financial situation just wont alow that. I dunno what im asking for really just any of your two cents would mean the world to me and thanks sooo much for taking the time to read this.

[3makka pakka3]

Things look bad now, but they will get better.

Maby join a dating site? Also, maby try going to bars on your own?

I know you said u quit the party scence, but it would help, try talking to somenew people while your out, at something like a sports match?

If you do this, keep going to the bar or wherever to meet those same ppl, then swap numbers and you will have a new group of friends, and you might have feelings for one, or they might like you.

Just give it a try.

[Raiden]

The only girl i have EVER had a crush on has gone into solitude.

 

Silly question perhaps, but have you tried contacting this girl?

 

Dropping her a phone call, an email or a text to ask how she's doing will help take your mind off your own problems by showing interest in someone else (no disrespect meant by this, not only is it an act of kindness but a pragmatic method of self-therapy), if nothing else.

[Baudelaire]

Well the bar scene would be a good idea if not for two problems. One I am not 21 and being the only sober one in a drinking environment, you cant really get to know people for who they are rather than there intoxicated self and I am not the biggest sports fan and most people in sports bars are heh. As far as getting in-touch with this girl, my attempts all ended in failure. Iv'e called and got no answer. She doesnt check her maile. Goes on her myspace like once every few months. Ive visited her house and was told "She wasn't ready to come out yet".....Yeah it sound extremely bizarre I dunno whats up with her. I guess the best thing is to move on but thats the hard part

[SoMuchLove]

I can relate.

 

I am 22 and have never even held a girls hand before. I've also found out I have Emotional Deprivation Disorder(lack of emotional affirmation from others in my life makes me feel like a robot/unable to understand the concept of bonding with others) so this makes things harder. I'd like to hold someone, have someone say the love me, but it's a shame we can't snap our fingers and make this so.

 

All I can say is continue to be patient bro. Your also going through a phase in your life where you learn who you really are. This also attributes to the lack of people you can connect with so it's going to be a battle. Just keep telling yourself things will get better and just take itone day at a time.