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Should i show subtle persistance or walk away silently?


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Hi all,


I am new to this site so, this is my first dip into asking strangers for advice...so, i hope you don't mind me using you guys as a sounding board and hopefully i can reciprocate too.



I have been out of the 'love game' for some time through choice as wanted to get my own life together as without this no relationship would work and i am continously improving on this road.


In my work I am part of a virtual team and began to work with a woman about a year ago who I clicked with straight away for love of same music, travel etc...She is based in another country


She came to visit for work a few months back and i took her out although nothing romantic happened.. When she went back i told her that i liked her alot and since then we have chatted about life and what we get up to on a weekly basis...


This has also extended to outside work too. She is fully aware of the fact that I am interested romantically but, all she has said is that she has never said she is not interested in me but, the fact we have only met for 3 days and live in different countries etc would be difficult to build anything.


I am just wondering whether to pursue this as I have read things like love tactics to winning the one you want ( and i really do want her).


We have arrangements for me to visit in a couple of months and she is excited but, I think it is me that wants it to progress to more she seems more friends orientated although we always flirt and compliment each other.


I am just wondering how to play it as she knows i like her but i dont have that luxury.


Do I just continue to be friendly but never mention the fact i like her anymore and just be friends or do i use the tactics to try to spark an attraction in me.


I havent felt like this for such a long time about a person that I would like to at least try but when i told her i liked her that way she didnt exactly jump through hoops.


Just putting it out there to see if anyone has had something similar ie. distance and confusing signals....



Tony C

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You can't act like a friend if you want it to progress to more. Don't just go over there and profess your love for her and all that. You have to be light and fun, have a good time. Definitely flirt and see how she reacts. She might be on serious guard since she knows you're going back to your own country and won't be able to see her for a long while most likely. That will be a difficult obstacle to overcome. Just go over there with no expectations and have a good time, see where it goes. It's pretty much up to her since she knows how you feel already. Just make sure you don't act like a friend so she doesn't get confused about your intentions. If you want to flirt then flirt, if she's receptive then some light touching would be good (shoulder, arm, etc).


Just remember, don't have any expectations, have fun.

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As long as you're spending time on your own while you'll be in that country and that you do it for yourself and not for her.


Be careful, the best is to walk away if you can't take this relationship lightly.

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Thanks guy for the input


Supafly TNT i think you are so right, if I do go over there then i need to be indifferent to it and flirt and have fun.


I am unsure of whether or not its the wise thing to go as I have said she holds all the cards.


I am intending to not contact her for a while and let her contact me. I realise that it is me that has done all of the contacting and she only responds never initiates.


SO some NC may bring out what she really thinks as she may miss the attention she gets from me.


BYOB I also think what you said is right so, thank you both


Tony C

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You say that you've havent felt the way you feel in a long time

so... go for it

You never know it may not come around again

It matters not that 'she holds all the cards'

Sometimes you have to put your heart on the line to get what you want

Actually if you're not willing to put your heart on the line then you can't profess to being serious about this lady

I say try to show her how you feel

actions speak louder than words

think about how you can show her your feelings if you're uncomfortable saying it.


Good luck

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thanks for all the replies guys, its appreciated!


Well, no need to think about this anymore as during a conversation on IM we were talking about my visit and she said


'i don't intend doing other things with you', I hadn;t even mentioned it i was just talking about going to the beach for a few days.


So, at least I know now what the score is so, I replied to say


'cool, and i would speak to her soon'


To be honest after that comment which was out of the blue i am not sure if I should stop contact completely and move on...





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