sine Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 so here's my little tale o' woe: so i was in a relationship for roughly three years which ended in th beginning of last month. there's an age discrepancy of about 7 years (she being younger than me), but it wasn't an impediment. my belief was that it wasn't really meant to last, but i went with it & fell for her madly. then she went abroad for four months, and the trip didn't go as i had expected. we were supposed to meet up at the end of her trip but she was distant when we did contact, and i later found out that she had hooked up with someone while away, which shook my trust. we had a hard transition when she got back, but we did eventually right the ship. admittedly i was scarred by being in limbo & learning of the affair, and it did instill trust issues with her that had lingered, despite my love for her. when she started talking about traveling again, it brought up a lot of feelings stemming from the last trip. i started getting distant. when this happened, she started to move in more. in fact, she changed because of my distance & our relationship improved to the point that she said she want us to get a place together. i had been going thru a really hard time when this came up (my friend was diagnosed with a life threatening disease, was about to lose me job due to a company buyout amongst others.) i told her that we need to wait a few months for my stuff to sort out. really, my gut told me that she should move out on her own & get established in her life so we could be on the same page. if you can't guess, this is a hard conversation to have. so i said very little about it, and i didn't want to hurt her but i feel like my silence did. she basically decided to move out on her own, but in a very rocky fashion which was hard for me. because of the way it went, i said we should take a break so she can sort out her life & figure out what she wanted to do. if anything, i was saying that i wanted her to have to opportunity to grow, but i think she felt like i was abandoning her. a few days later, she decided to break it off & and subsequently started a relationship with another man a few weeks before she moved out of my apt, which i didn't find out about until nearly a few weeks after she left on my birthday. i've been in no contact since i found out about the new guy & haven't spoken in almost three weeks. i really love her, but i feel like i really hurt her and feel responsible for it. and then she hurt me when she started dating the other guy immediately. she called me on my birthday, but i had just found out about the other guy & didn't speak to her for a few days following, which i'm sure hurt her more. so, i don't know what to do. i'm going on with my life-i have a move coming up, a five day hiking trip, a new kitten, i'm going out a lot and having a nice life on my own. i've partially talked about this with her, but after the other man came in, i just haven't been able to speak to her. so do i keep silent & initiate LC soon? do i just admit fault? do i want until the rebound guy is gone? i love her & feel horrible about this. plz help. sorry for the length Link to comment
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