Cheating & Getting Back Together?

[serendipity211]

hey guys, i wanted to know your opinion and past experiences.

 

I dated this guy for a year, we went from breaking up, to becoming "friends", to labeling ourselves "complicated, then In an Open Relationship, then back to friends. It's been a hectic time and we've gone through a lot the past year.

 

The thing is, is that he's hurt me a lot. He's confessed many things to me that is a big deal to me, and made a big impact on our relationship. Part of it was that I found out he was flirting with other girls behind my back on Facebook, chatting to random girls he didn't know, and messaging his ex. (I found this out through accidently looking onto his FB when he left it open one time).

 

Oh and btw, I already didn't trust him before b/c of other stuff he had been keeping from me. I guess thats what prompted me to look in his FB behind his back. But, this was the first time he'd kept something from me that had to do with girls & cheating on me.

 

As a result, I considered this cheating. Not major cheating, but still cheating nonetheless. I talked to him about it, and based on the type of person he is and his past, I genuinely believed him when he said he was very sorry about it, and kept crying, etc. He said he didn't even know why he did it, which i partly don't believe (b/c how can you not know why you messaged all those girls, initiativly?)

 

It's been awhile now. and he still cares about me a lot, and I still care about him a lot. We've given it some time, even though we've technically still have been seeing each other sometimes.

 

What I want to know is, Is it possible to get back with an ex after he's cheated on you? Doesn't matter the level of cheating, it'd just be nice to know that its possible to have a happily ever after with a guy, to be able to give him a second chance and know that he's learned from his past mistake.

 

Is it really true with the quote, "once a cheater, always a cheater"?

 

I know its not going to be easy to work it out, but right now i don't know if i should give my ex another chance, considering I really don't trust him anymore after all that hes done to me, but I am willing to.

 

Please let me know your thoughts, thanks.

[Mlost]

 

Is it really true with the quote, "once a cheater, always a cheater"?

 

QUOTE]

 

Not necessarily, but there's a flip side. Once trust is gone in that way, it will never be the same. Ever. It could be 99% rebuilt, but never ever all the way.

[SpeedingCars]

I think it is possible to get back together with them, of course! But the likelihood of the relationship surviving, that's another story. You have to HONESTLY get over him cheating and NOT bring it up as "ammo" for future fights. Once you've forgiven him, you've forgiven him.

 

I don't believe "Once a cheater, always a cheater". There are certain situations that people succumb to. There are things that are definitely unforgivable, but I think that's a personal choice. People make mistakes. It all really depends on the circumstances...

 

However, I don't believe you can ever truly forget about it. Whenever he's out or if there's a problem in the relationship, there will always be that doubt in the back of your head. He's broken your trust and I think that's irreparable. Like the user posted above me, you can get 99% of it back, but not all of it.

 

I believe in second chances and forgiveness. If you think HE'S worth it or if the RELATIONSHIP itself is worth it, go ahead.

 

You know yourself that you don't trust him, so I wouldn't jump into reconciliation at this point. You really need to work through those trust issues with him and also by yourself.

[MessedUpInHead]

ok..........