He did it again!

[lollipop3]

Well if you wanna read some of my past posts to get the whole story that might make things more clear. But My boyfriend of a year and half broke up with me in March because he said he loved me but could never marry me. We were apart for three weeks with no contact, and then he wanted me back and said he had made a huge mistake and should have never have said that. Well we got back together things were going really well and then all of sudden last week it happened again. He said he loved me but that he didn't love me in the way to marry me and have children with me.

 

This boy is messed up. He admits that he is indecisive. I once told him that I loved our relationship because the love was not obsessive and he said he wanted that kind of obssesive love. Which shocked me. 4 days ago I went over there to get my stuff and he was upset that I was angry with him, and I told him I thought he was depressed and he admitted it but doesn't want to get help and doesn't need it (because he'll just pop out of it like he always does-yeah right). He said he didn't have such a bad temper and was so upset when he was smoking pot more, so he's gonna go back to that more. Told me he still really loves me.

 

He owes me money so we made a payment plan and I suggested that he send it to me in a money order (he has no checking account cuz he had to close it when his credit was getting too low and he owed money) and mail it to me. He INSISTED that we do it in person, and would be upset if I was unable to see him in person. I said I'd prefer it cuz I'm mad and he pleaded with me to come over and get it and asked if he could call me. I finally agreed. My mom thinks that he is just trying to keep me around and doesn't want to fully let go of me. What do you all think?

 

Again please read some of my other posts if you have a minute, to get the full story

[SapphireNoir10]

Men eh? And women I guess. Some people are just NEVER Happy and constantly think 'maybe this isnt right, maybe she isnt the one' They often go through many relationships and keep getting out cos they arent sure and end up alone and miserable cos they throw away good people like you.

 

Refuse to meet with im, if he wont let go, pull away, cut the cord say 'goodbye' and truly teach him what life is like without you. As soon as you get your money go NC and move on with your life.

 

'"Fool me once

Shame on you

Fool me twice

Shame on me."

[anonheart]

hi lollipop.........i think your right. He sounds like hes just not ready to let you go yet. i think a lot of the time, it can boil down to male ego and pride and hey, they are hurting too you know?!

To me, like most Dumpers it seems, have made their decision when they left you....ultimately they already left you, before they physically left you. But, like most normal, rational people, they will still have feelings for you unless there was some big f**k up in the relationship.

So, maybe from the male dumpers perspective, he doesn't want to be with you but hey, he either not sure of his decision, or he just not ready to let you go yet or he doesn't want someone else to have you.

i don't know. That's just a theory of mine. I think what you really need to do, as is the majority of most cases i think, is just to think about YOU now, as hard as that is. Go out and live YOUR life, and don't always be there for him if he need's you. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too. If he knows your there and waiting around for him, he'll go out and have his fun and do his thing. Its only when he realises that your not there, that they go, hey, what she up 2? But don't do any of this for mind games. Just do it for YOU.

[nelz]

My ex did exactly the same thing, only more fast-paced.

 

Broke up end of Jan, back together a day later, then broke up with me again 2 weeks later (after I had really tried hard to work at things, and things were actually going good!)

 

I don't know what goes through some people's heads. No one wants to try anymore, or give things a proper chance.

 

I'm sorry it happened to you, I think it hurts more the second time round doesn't it? Hope you can stick in there, and get through it all.

[lollipop3]

I think a lot of what hurts for me right now is the rejection. Knowing that I was not good enough in some way. Last night I was thinking about how genuine he sounded when he came back to me the last time.

 

He said he understood if I never wanted to see him again, but that he loved me so much and missed me so much and had made such a huge mistake. He said "I really want to make it work this time." And for a long time was sending me all these messages and emails saying that he missed me and couldn't wait to see me, but then it seems like reality stepped back in (or the depression) and he was confused again.

 

It just seems like he's an emotional child. One day I'm the woman he wants to marry and have kids with and the next day he doesn't love me like that. Everyone says he's no good for me cuz of all his problems. No one understnds why I put up with him for so long considering how he is drifting through life and won't take charge of it himself, but I truly felt we had a connection.

 

On top of all of that it really hurts that he admits he's depressed but won't do anything about except self medicate with pot.

 

I treated him so well, and wanted us to be so happy, but it's so hard to think that nice people really do finish last.

 

It's funny but he knows very well that if I did see him every month when he has to give it to me I'd be seeing him once a month at his place for SIX MONTHS!!! He was so insistant on doing it in person and not mailing it or anything. I guess it is pretty obvious that it's a way to keep tabs on me or not let go.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

If it were me, if it was the only way to get the money i'd show up. And keep showing up til i had all the money then never speak to him again.

 

He's a giant baby trying to control you. Take the money order when you show and then just walk out.

 

If he's a large enough baby he probably will quit giving you money if you refuse to 'play.' He's stiffed other creditors so why not you? So if you really want the money, just look at it as what it take to get it back, and see him for the spoiled brat he really is.

[drewciouS281]

he knows deeep down that this isnt the right relationship for him but cant let go of the feelings and comfort of the relationship itself. he may not be depressed, he may just be going through some life crisis that brings the best of us down to the bottom.

 

Its happened to me and i did the same thing to my ex. Just cut ties with him and find someone right for you.

[evice]

I don't know... but this guy sounds like a loser to me. Move on and make sure that he repays you what he owes to you.

[lollipop3]

All of my friends tell me that he's a loser and that he'll never get out of this mess. I truly believe he is depressed though, because I'm not the only one who has noticed a change, and this isn't a new thing. It seems to be a reoccurring this in his life.

 

It's just very hard not to think that it wasn't me. That if I was good enough or this or that then it woudn't have happened. The last time we broke up he even started to see someone else, but said that he couldn't stop thinking of me when they hung out. I wanted to believe it so bad, and I really think he meant it at the time, I just don't know what happened

 

But you all are right I can't let him hold on to me like that