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Dumped, and still living with the ex

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So about two months ago my girlfriend of 12 years dumped me out of the blue. Unfortunately we're in a lease until November, and both of us need the whole summer to basically save up to move out and get a new place.


I've been trying to be very civil, and have slept on the couch every night, letting her sleep in the bed. Last night she asked if she could have the apartment for a while so her "friends" could come over for drinks. I obliged, and agreed that I would be back at 2am, which should give her friends lots of time to party and then go. I came back at about 1:55am, and when I walked in, I saw my ex rush into the bedroom and shut the door behind her. I walked into the living room and there were a guy's pair of shoes there. He was probably planning on leaving, and maybe they weren't expecting me back 5 minutes early. Perhaps he was looking for an opportunity to sneak out, but he knew I was out in the living room, so he ended up staying in the bedroom all night, in my bed, and then snuck out the next morning.


While I can't tell my ex who she can or can't have over, I was really, really hurt by this. My sister had given us the bed, so I consider it -my- bed now. thereforeee, when my ex went out today, I dismantled the bed, and there is now nothing to sleep on in the bedroom. The ex is probably going to freak when she gets home, but she crossed a line, and I don't want her using my bed to sleep with her new boyfriend. But in a way, I've screwed myself, because now she's going to probably sleep on the couch (which she bought), and I'm going to have to find a piece of floor somewhere to sleep on. I wish she would just go to her new boyfriend's place. I don't know why they had to come here last night instead of his place.


Like I said, I had tried to be civil, and was expecting we'd be able to keep this civil right until November. But now I think it's going to start getting crazy, although I don't consider it any fault of my own. I haven't hit rock bottom like this in years, and I'm so depressed and sad that what I thought was going to be a lifelong relationship turned into this. I know life will get better eventually, but that doesn't seem to be of much comfort right now, especially in light of the fact that it's probably going to get much worse. Any advice?

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Ford, so sorry to hear that. She definitely showed a lack of class and sensitivity by having this guy over at your place. Wow. I would suggest finding several different people with whom you could stay for periods of time until you have enough money saved up to get your own new lease.

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Thank you, lady00. "Lack of class" were my thoughts exactly, and it seemed really out of character for the person who I thought I knew for those 12 years. I can understand if she wanted something new, but I just wish she had done that away from my environment. But anyway, good advice about moving around to different friends. I don't want to become anyone's unwelcome house guest.

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wow brotha man, i am really sorry to hear about that..


Thank god you are not a hot head like me. When me and my ex ex of 3 years broke up, we had a house together, we were working on the paperwork to refinance so i could get off the mortage.


She knew good and well that if i EVER caught any type of guy over, it wold be very bad news. Personally if it was me, i would have booted the door down, and broke the kids jaw.


This situation does show how cool, mellow, and civil you reallly are.


You deserve better bro, gret job on handling the situation in a MATURE manner, UNLIKE that so called "Girl"

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