newyorkpsps Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I'm not sure whether I'm too picky or not, I'm on eharmony for 2 months, only met 3 guys; they're all nice, but no chemistry. how many potential dates you usually talk to or meet in two months? for some potential dates, they seems good matches, everything is fine when we talk online, then after meeting each other, there won't be any contact again... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 The last time I did on line dating regularly was from for a 6 month period a few years ago. I met about 20 men in person. I probably e-mailed with close to 200, spoke on the phone with about 80 or so - rough estimates, because I know that I screened many "out" based on e-mails and phone calls. During the 6 months I dated one person for three months but we were not exclusive (I met very few people during that time period). I also dated another person for close to two months but we were not exclusive. Out of the 20 I went on more than one date with 8 of them. I did not accept second dates (or a first official date, I mean) with all who asked. Link to comment
evice Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 It's quantity vs quality situation. I was on eHarmomy after my divorce and met many nice people with 0 chemistry. What they write about themself isn't true. Not because they want to lie to you, but because they have no clue who they are themselves. Be strong and good luck to you. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I think the reason there is no chemistry has little to do with what is written in the profile. You have to click in person, and clicking with a profile is a very different thing. Why you Click in person - or don't click- often cannot be explained. Link to comment
newyorkpsps Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 I feel that you can't really tell whether or not you'll have chemistry from the person's eh profile... whatever you can tell is occupation, hobby, height, location etc. and photo too. I did write off guys based on the above standards... I guess I should talk to them at least and see where it goes... Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 hello newyorkpsp, I'm on EH too. What I'm doing these days is this - 1) I'm not going to send a communication request to anyone. I'm gonna let guys approach me. 2) Unless the guy is fat or has written crap in his profile (which makes me feel that he can't understand &/or express himself, which is an important thing for me) I'll give him a chance. But you and Batya33 are right. You have to meet a guy to see what you feel after you meet him. A profile is a good start. I've met only 2 guys on EH in person so far and mostly the guys stood true to their profile. In MHO if a profile is attractive enough, the guy's personality will normally show through. Photo is a trick. Some people are photogenic, others are not. But yes, I agree so many matches just flake off even after making it to open communication. Then in person there may or may not be any chemistry. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 i've done eharmony on and off for 3 years (currently off right now!) i've met, oh, i don't know, maybe 20 guys off that site. had 2 relationships. you get less matches on eharmony, but i think they are more compatible with you. except lately, eharmony has introduced 'flexible matching' and i feel that some of the guys i get matched with really aren't so good for me. i agree with the others, chemistry, you can't calculate who you are going to 'click' with. love is more than just a grocery list of things you want. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 how do you know that EH has introduced flexible dating. That is contrary to what they say in their commercial "match u based on 29 personality dimensions... blah blah". Isn't that cheating? I would rather prefer to get less matches but that I truly have a chance of building a strong relationship with than to get some crappy ones. Please dont' tell me that its again one of those getting more business tactics. Link to comment
annie24 Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 it says in the upper right hand corner, 'more about flexible matching' and you'll know if someone is a 'flexible match' or not. sometimes it's someone a bit older or younger than you specify, or lives farther away or something of the nature. sometimes, i think some of the 29 criteria were relaxed a bit. Link to comment
newyorkpsps Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 right, I noticed their "flex match" too and I don't like it. they recently sent a lot of people with my dealbreakers to me. from my past experiences, I'm not going to start with those who has dealbreakers, no matter how much chemistry. anyway, just have to continue trying... I think I should be less picky from now on then, at least start talking and see how things goes. thanks and good luck! Link to comment
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