What's the difference . . .

[knightingale]

. . . between a break and a break-up?

 

My as-of-yesterday ex told me long ago that he doesn't believe in breaks. When it became clear we couldn't fix our problems together, we decided to do it separately and we broke-up. However, we are both hoping, not just me, that once we work our problems separately we will get be able to get back together--even though when that could happen is very unclear right now. We are technically single, but not actually available. We still love each other and hope to reconcile. How is that all different than a break?

 

The fact remains that we aren't currently together, so I'm asking more out of curiosity.

[Clabs]

Hey Knigtingdale

 

Well, a break up is a break up - over and out.

 

So far as a break is concerned - if it is done properly, it is where you both decide that either or both of you have issues to deal with. You identify those issues and argee a set amount of time apart to work them out and then you get back together to see if those problems have been addressed.

 

The problem often is that people gone on a break without any parameters and get back together but nothing has changed. It is also quite common for one party to ask for a break with no intention of getting back - it is kind of a lame way of breaking up with you.

 

Hope things work out for you but keep your eyes open, ok?

 

Mark

[ccali78]

Funny my ex also said the same thing. That we hope we can work through our own things and make things work. Weird but is that a common saying?

[knightingale]

Well, we haven't set a time to get back together--could be weeks, could be months, could be never depending on how we both do in working out our problems. But we're hopeful.

 

We still love each other, we made that abundantly clear yesterday. He wants to stay in contact, keep me close, because we don't want to lose each other along the way. It will probably be LC, definitely not NC. Staying in regular contact would defeat the purpose entirely. We aren't contacting each other for the next week or so, though. After that, we'll see.

 

So it feels like it's just a break, is being treated like a break, but he insisted before that he didn't believe in them. Maybe his definition is different than mine.