Ladies I have a question. When you come across a guy in public and you....

[ConfusedDater]

make sure you make eye contact with him as you are walking pass him, is that because you wanted him to speak and maybe chat? I can't think of any other reason why a female would make eye contact with me as I'm walking pass her if she didn't want me to speak.

 

So I decided today to start saying "hello" in those situations because you never know what a simple-"hi can lead to.

 

Yesterday I was walking toward this girl and once we got close we both look at each other but I didn't say anything at all. I should have said hello.

 

Then there was another situation when I was walking toward a girl sitting alone on a park bench and when I started passing her on the park bench we looked at each other and I just kept walking.

 

 

At least I do have enough confidence to make eye contact, now I just need to start saying something along with the eye contact.

[ImThatGirl]

There's different kinds of eye contact.

 

The kind where I just happen to be walking by or towards someone and I make eye contact and smile. (I almost always do this)

 

And the kind where one makes eye contact and holds it..

 

In any case - I'm proud of you for working on this. Just make eye contact and smile or say hello to everyone (or many people) for awhile. Maybe this will get you more comfortable talking to people while out and about.

 

And sure say Hello! What's it going to hurt?

[ConfusedDater]

There's different kinds of eye contact.

 

The kind where I just happen to be walking by or towards someone and I make eye contact and smile. (I almost always do this)

 

And the kind where one makes eye contact and holds it..

 

In any case - I'm proud of you for working on this. Just make eye contact and smile or say hello to everyone (or many people) for awhile. Maybe this will get you more comfortable talking to people while out and about.

 

And sure say Hello! What's it going to hurt?

 

 

But why you be making eye contact with anyone in public unless it's a guy you think is handsome?

[nutbrownhare]

Where I live, I often see the same people again and again. After a while, we both say 'Hello'. If they haven't been around for a while, they'll stop for a chat. This is how you get to meet new people. If you then see them in unfamiliar circumstances - you've got someone to talk to!

 

The worst thing that can happen is that they don't say 'Hello' back. That you're in the same situation that you were before you made the contact - what's to lose???

[ConfusedDater]

Where I live, I often see the same people again and again. After a while, we both say 'Hello'. If they haven't been around for a while, they'll stop for a chat. This is how you get to meet new people. If you then see them in unfamiliar circumstances - you've got someone to talk to!

 

The worst thing that can happen is that they don't say 'Hello' back. That you're in the same situation that you were before you made the contact - what's to lose???

 

 

 

That's why I'm debating on whether I should even say hello because I don't want to say it and the girl doesn;t reply back. Then I will probably say something ignorant.

[ImThatGirl]

But why you be making eye contact with anyone in public unless it's a guy you think is handsome?

 

Because I'm a very friendly person. To me making eye contact and smiling is just something that should happen naturally... all the time.

 

It's not just men that I make eye contact with - it's most people that I pass - whether it be at work in the hallway, at the gas station, at the mall, restaurants....

[ImThatGirl]

That's why I'm debating on whether I should even say hello because I don't want to say it and the girl doesn;t reply back. Then I will probably say something ignorant.

 

Don't do this just for the chance of getting a date, CD.

 

Try to do it - - - keep a smile on your face for a day. It helps relieve stress I swear. And try saying hello. Get used to this step first. When you realize how harmless it is if they happen to not say hello back or not talk to you more, I think you'll get more comfortable.

[nutbrownhare]

That's why I'm debating on whether I should even say hello because I don't want to say it and the girl doesn;t reply back. Then I will probably say something ignorant.

 

Nobody's forcing you to say something ignorant - that would really be to lose out. There are many, many reasons why people wouldn't say 'Hello' back, most of which are nothing to do with the other person - though I didn't appreciate being told to 'Smile - it may never happen!' when I was walking back from my father's funeral.

 

But you might get to meet some nice people!

[nutbrownhare]

Don't do this just for the chance of getting a date, CD.

 

Try to do it - - - keep a smile on your face for a day. It helps relieve stress I swear. And try saying hello. Get used to this step first. When you realize how harmless it is if they happen to not say hello back or not talk to you more, I think you'll get more comfortable.

 

I couldn't agree more! I'mThatGirl - I'm sure we'd chat if we met!

[GlitzyBug]

If you don't feel comfortable with saying hello, then just give a nice big smile. A stranger's smile really perks my day up sometimes because so few people do it these days!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yeah, I will make eye contact and smile and say hello to people on street, be they male or female. In fact, walking the dog is great for those kinds of interactions. Has nothing to do with dating, just being friendly. It does brighten the day.

[george237]

Yeah, I will make eye contact and smile and say hello to people on street, be they mail or female. In fact, walking the dog is great for those kinds of interactions. Has nothing to do with dating, just being friendly. It does brighten the day.

 

Smile and say hello to mail? You are very friendly to mail, if it was me I would ignor mail's stare and keep walking.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Smile and say hello to mail? You are very friendly to mail, if it was me I would ignor mail's stare and keep walking.

 

LOL...I am friendly to mail as long as it is not a bill!!

 

I just got up from a long nap so my spelling might be a bit off! I just corrected my spelling.

[poloplayer]

And the kind where one makes eye contact and holds it..

 

Elaborate on this one.

 

I'm in the vestibule on the train last night waiting for my stop which is next. Someone walks down the stairs from the upper deck and enters. I turn to look and she is gorgeous. We held eye contact for a solid 3 seconds. No smiles. Nothing said. I broke contact eventually because we were still staring with locked eyes and it's going 4 seconds, almost 5 seconds...

 

Here's the catch. I didn't say anything after I looked away, because I saw a ring on her hand... Then I thought, 'what the f is she doing staring at me like that when she has a rock on her hand?'

[george237]

Elaborate on this one.

 

I'm in the vestibule on the train last night waiting for my stop which is next. Someone walks down the stairs from the upper deck and enters. I turn to look and she is gorgeous. We held eye contact for a solid 3 seconds. No smiles. Nothing said. I broke contact eventually because we were still staring with locked eyes and it's going 4 seconds, almost 5 seconds...

 

Here's the catch. I didn't say anything after I looked away, because I saw a ring on her hand... Then I thought, 'what the f is she doing staring at me like that when she has a rock on her hand?'

 

Easy she loves attention.

[poloplayer]

^^^Could be. But I have hooked up with plenty of girls in the past where it started out the same way, sans the ring.

[ImThatGirl]

^^ I can't really imagine making that locking eye contact with someone if married.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Maybe you had snot hanging out of your nose!

[poloplayer]

^^^I have a girl who I work with who has done this a few times with me.

 

I don't see her much as I don't work with her (different group). She's attractive, but I'm not going to do anything as she is married and I have morals. But it's like a hard stare she has done with me a few times and I turn away because I am uncomfortable. I find it really creepy. I don't know what she wants from me, but the stares give me the heebie jeebies. They are not comfortable stares. Again, I have not spoken with her much at all (handful) but she even turns her ring with her thumb so the diamond is hidden, as if I won't notice it or see it.

 

She is so creepy. Shivers. She might be one of those scandalous types. Plenty of affairs happen, even inside of my firm. If I see her now I just turn away ASAP.

[ImThatGirl]

^^ hehe - Good idea to turn away. Hiding the diamond - - lol c'mon!

[poloplayer]

Maybe you had snot hanging out of your nose!

Could be. Long day at work. I was exhausted.

 

Anyway, my point with any locking eyes / stares, but no smiles, etc. I just find it creepy. If I see a smile, if I hear a hello, etc., that makes someone approachable. Locking eyes...I don't know. Maybe I just had some weird experiences with the girl at work and another here or there that makes the locking eyes thing kind of creepy. Smile at least. Flash those pearl whites. Give me a howdy. Seem kind of upbeat, fun and friendly. It goes a long way in making someone approachable.

[poloplayer]

Hiding the diamond - - lol c'mon!

 

Honest to God truth. It only happened twice (again we rarely talk). Maybe it's a habit she has developed?

 

I'm standing, she is sitting. Her hands are on a keyboard, and when I approached, she took her left thumb in between her middle fingers and gave a little twist and the diamond wasn't visible.

 

If I knew her a little better I would just ask 'what are you doing?' But I don't, so I would feel uncomfortable. I'm not going to take it as a hint for something. It's creepy, but I just wrote it off to a habit of her overall creepiness.

 

But, you still never elaborated. The locking eyes comment that you made earlier. Is that typically an indication of interest on your part? If so, isn't it counter productive?

[ImThatGirl]

^ Will write more when I get home... ^

[dream83]

On rare occasion...when I'm really, really tired and my brain is on standby...I sometimes stare in a general direction without really thinking about it because I'm just too tired to do anything else. I'm usually totally unaware when this happens. It has happened a couple of times that either a person entered my "staring space" or I was looking in the general direction, but it didn't fully register that there was a human filling that space. I would imagine that at those times it probably looks like I'm making creep eye contact, but I'm actually just sort of spacing out after a long day. Given my luck, I've been approached by a couple of wackos who somehow thought that I was gazing at them lustfully. So, now I try to gaze into the distance like that any more.

[ImThatGirl]

But, you still never elaborated. The locking eyes comment that you made earlier. Is that typically an indication of interest on your part? If so, isn't it counter productive?

 

If I look at someone for longer than it takes to smile and nod, then I'd say yes it's showing interest or just a way of flirting.

 

I don't see how that's counter productive though.. ? I'm confused.