woahisme13 Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I started dating this girl in January. At first I was unsure about how I felt about her. She pretty much moved herself into my house after the first month. She has a 2 year old who I grew very attached to. I fell in love with her but was unsure if she felt the same. I went away for three days on a business trip. She called me everynight and on the last night she said her mom made her cry when they were talking about me. I thought this might be a good sign. When I got home I went through her cell phone to see if she had been talking to any of her friends about me, to see if she felt the same way. I came accross a message from one of her GF saying that if she liked this other guy then she needed to let me know. I confronted her about it and asked her if she wanted to break up. She said that she was just friends with him and didn't care about him the way she did me. After seeing that message I had a hard time trusting her. I've had my fair share of reationships but never before did I feel the way I did for this girl. I new I was in love with her. I finally told her and she said she loved me. In May I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We also set a date to start trying to have a baby, June 9th. I kept looking in her phone to make sure that we were ok and there was no one else. The last week in May I saw a message that her ex was in town and they were making plans to meet up. I knew she still had some feelings for him and confronted her on it. She got very upset about me going through her phone again, which is understandable. I wouldn't have cared if she saw him but I wanted her to be honest about it. She said she just wanted to see him for some closure and that was it. They ended up not meeting up. We went out the next weekend. We both got pretty drunk and in the cab I saw her call his number on her phone then immediately hang up. When we got home I confronted her on it. I asked her if she still loved him and if so more than she loved me. She wouldn't answer me and just started crying. I asked for my ring back and she said she was going to stay at our mutal friends house. At that point I lost it, feeling like all that made me happy and my life feel complete was a lie. In a rage I flipped over our sleeper sofa and broke a kitchen chair. I had a good reason to be mad but I know I handled it poorly. The next day she said she needed some space but we were still together. The following day she said she had never seen anyone act they way I did and it really scared her and completely changed how she felt about me, saying she lost alot of respect for me and didn't feel safe around me. I did not act violently towards her at all, just to be clear. She said she wanted to break up for a while but still live with me and try to work things out. Three days later she came home drunk and asked if we could sleep together. I ok'd it and after a minute she said she didn't feel right having sex if we weren't together adn that she wanted to get back together with me, that she still loved me and she was sorry. I called into work the next day so we could spend they day together. At the end of that day she said she still wasn't ready. On Saturday we finished moving the rest of her stuff into my house so she could get rid of her apartment. Sunday she told me she wanted to go out on a date with another guy to make sure how she felt about me. I lost it and told her she needed to try to work things out with me together or leave. Monday she moved back to her apartment. Saying she couldn't have the space she needed staying with me. She said she wasn't going to see anyone else. Now she gets jealous over every girl I talk to but she is hanging out with another guy. Saying it's okay to hang out with other people but not ok tp sleep with them. I know the guy she is hanging out with and I know his intentions, so does she. She says she wants us to be together but just wants to be friends right now until I sort my anger/ jealousy issues out. I start counseling next week. I am doing it for myself not for her. I told her I can't be her friend right now because it seems like she wants to see other people and keep me there just incase. She said that is bnot the way it is and she wants to be with me eventually but is hanging out with other people right now just in case it doesn't work out between us. I don't know what to do. I love her and her daughter very much and was even talking about adopting her daughtr as my own. It's been three weeks since we split and I miss her so much. I never put myself out like that to anyone else before. At the same time I hate what she is doing to me. Thanks for listening. Link to comment
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