Tell me my ENA angels... How can I trust someone's feelings again

[SingleAgain34]

It's 2 30 AM and I found myself crying in bed. With one question. How will I ever be able to believe the true intentions of another man? His true love and feelings?

 

He left me 4 months ago, after he tried to be nice, he tried us to be friends, tried to be a good guy...I went NC and it hurts...but I know it was a good choice cause early on he found someone else. He still haven't found himself.

 

But the fact is, he left. Shattered it all. Took his own direction. How can I believe that in the future, when or if I meet someone, I can honestly recognize what the new man is talking about or behave is true, genuine, when so much of what I believed about this last one turned out to be... well, just memories of something that was and will never be.

 

I wanted to believe in him so bad and I did, he was a dream come true, he was loyal, dedicated, helpful, he seemed so ...genuine - but deep down I knew something was not right. It was all about him at the end.

 

Will I always have that deep down feeling from now on that something will turn out wrong? How do you recognize true love?

[greensleeves]

It's really hard to deal with past baggage, but you have to try. When you meet someone new, you have to keep reminding yourself that he is NOT your old boyfriend. Going into a relationship with trust issues can destroy what could turn out to be something great. It's not always easy though and it can be really hard to deal with.

 

Try to be optimistic though and trust until you're given a reason not to. You're certainly not alone with this problem...there are alot of very cautious and guarded people out there. Try to look at it this way, the person who hurt you no longer deserves a place in your life, and his lousy behaviour certainly shouldn't give him the power to in any way influence the path your future relationships might take.

[lonely83]

SingleAgain34;

 

I feel exactly the same. In 2004 I broke up with my girlfriend at the time after a year together, I felt like I'd never be able to trust someone again, believe what they say about their feelings etc. It took until 2006 for me to have another relationship, even then I was very guarded about my feelings etc. Anyway she then dumped me at the end of 2007. Again I feel for all her 'i love you' etc speaches.

 

Now I don't know if I can ever believe or trust someone in a relationship again. The second girl showed me that I could fall in love again and that I could get close to someone and trust them and look how that turned out. I'm not sure if I could do it all again

 

lonely83

[pinkelephant]

I know how that feels too.

I'm starting to become really reclusive. I question every guy now... much more than before. I feel like I'm losing my personality.My natural self is very optimistic and i always wear my heart on my sleeve.