Dumpers: Have you ever realized you still love EX after starting new relationship?

[zzeitgeist]

Dumpers: Have you ever realized you still love EX after starting new relationship or being in one for a while?

 

If so,

 

how long where you with the new person?

what made you realize this?

did it work out?

what happened to you and the person you where with after the EX?

 

Curious..

[thejigsup]

I never realized this when I was the dumper, it doesn't work that way with me, but I have realized I still loved my ex when I had been the dumpee. It didn't change anything. I stayed with the new love for however long it lasted. I always respect someone when they tell me they don't want to be with me any longer. It's easier.

[Kat123]

My ex came back to me after about 6 months. And he was dating someone else at the time. I don't know if I would call it a relationship, but they had seen each other more than once, had a very couple-y picture of the two of them show up in the local society pages, he had her phone number programed in his car speed dial, and had invited her to a social club black-tie event (which he cancelled.) I don't know how long they had been dating, but I think it was more than a few times. I don't know what made him realize this...we had been in very strict mutual NC, run into each other about three times without speaking, and I finally just went up and said this was stupid, we should at least be cordial to each other, and it was nice to see him. Two days later I got an email about getting together for lunch and the rest is history.

 

It didn't work out. We lasted another very strong 6 months, but nothing about him was different. He was the same old selfish a-hole he was the first time, although the second time it was much, much more obvious. He broke up with me again though, albeit after I slapped him in a bar for being the worlds biggest ass.

 

No clue what happened to the other girl. Hopefully he's not white trash enough to call her again (although I really wouldn't put it past him), and hopefully she's not dumb enough to go back to him if he did call her...

[alphabetsoup13]

...

You're not going to get a lot of "yes's" on this post. The dumpers that DO come back are usually the ones that have since been dumped by the person that they left their original partner for.

I know how bad it hurts...my ex left me for someone else. I will forever wonder what she had that I didn't or what made things so much better with her. I know that is not healthy, but I do think it is natural to wonder.

 

As always with MissKitty,

 

qfe/t

[LW4E]

...

You're not going to get a lot of "yes's" on this post. The dumpers that DO come back are usually the ones that have since been dumped by the person that they left their original partner for.

I know how bad it hurts...my ex left me for someone else. I will forever wonder what she had that I didn't or what made things so much better with her. I know that is not healthy, but I do think it is natural to wonder.

 

We all wonder about that, of course, I'll always wonder what a 32 year old who still lives with his parents, doesn't pay rent, and spends entire days on the computer has that I don't... aside from an accent and blue eyes, which my ex loves hmm. She doesn't even know what he looks like, so I guess she can make believe... ah well, more power to her then.

 

Now I know none of you have a story that funny.

 

As far as the original question goes, like I said, my gitlfriend left me for some old guy who lives in England. She admitted to having feelings for me after the break up, but that was while she was going off about her "commitment issues." then again... I don't blame her for having feelings for me again... that guy is a serious loser.

[Suzanne1281]

My ex did this to me. We were dating and when things started to head down a more serious road, he told me he still was in love with her. So:

 

1-He was with me for 5 months

2-I don't know what made him realize it, though I suppose it was probably the entire time, and once he saw that I wanted to be serious and he'd have to move on, he started to retreat.

3-No it didn't work out-there was a lot of drama and flip-flopping on his part...a lot of flip-flopping...then one day he got back together with me and then broke up wiht me again that night for her. It's over now.

4-He's back with her now, still fighting about me (he kept contacting me and she looked at his texts, he emailed me telling me we couldn't contact each other anymore and he took me off his facebook, I emailed him back telling him to stop hurting me and leave me alone and now I'm struggling to move on as quickly as possible). It's a pretty crappy situation considering we have mutual friends.

 

Anyway, from the dumpees point of view, I think it really depends on the person--if you feel you're still in love with the ex, but know you want to move on, I say date casually and if it begins to feel right, it's ok to get serious with the new person. But if the ex is still around and you are still thinking you want to reconcile, please do not get serious with a new person. I can tell you from experience, it's very painful, confusing and makes a huge mess.

[Catdancer]

Dumpers: Have you ever realized you still love EX after starting new relationship or being in one for a while?

 

If so,

 

how long where you with the new person?

what made you realize this?

did it work out?

what happened to you and the person you where with after the EX?

 

Curious..

 

yes.

3 years

I really didnt want to leave him in the first place, but felt pressured to leave him from new SO.

no--it rarely does

we had a rocky, rough, sick and twisted relationship that ended dramatically

 

NOTE: I was 18 and engaged to an awesome man. He was very male, very masculine, sexy as hell and amazing to me. I left him for another woman. Biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Do I regret it? No. I cannot live in the past, I can only change my behavior so that I dont repeat this. I am 34 now and still think of him ALOT and I often wonder "what could have been".