Lonely

[KG]

It's been awhile since I've slept with anyone, about 18 months. I miss the emotional connection, the heat and spontaniety, and wonder if I will ever enjoy it again. Do you ever wonder if "Never"? I've never had a dry spell last this long, and SO feel the need to make a connection, without compromising my principals. I didn't want to title this "Am so horny", cuz that's not it, just the lack of intimacy on any level with anyone. Am I alone here? I feel like I'm going crazy for some physical// emotional cuddling/love.

[amethyst exchange]

It's been awhile since I've slept with anyone, about 18 months. I miss the emotional connection, the heat and spontaniety, and wonder if I will ever enjoy it again. Do you ever wonder if "Never"? I've never had a dry spell last this long, and SO feel the need to make a connection, without compromising my principals. I didn't want to title this "Am so horny", cuz that's not it, just the lack of intimacy on any level with anyone. Am I alone here? I feel like I'm going crazy for some physical// emotional cuddling/love.

 

 

Well, It's not so much a dry spell as a...'We don't know what the hell rain is' spell. But it scares me that...well...I've never had anyone care about me enough in reality to want to kiss me or touch me...or...really hug me (I don't really count my relationships...as they tend to be...mostly online ones and well the few times it has gotten to the point of failed intimacy I just ignored the actions as general hormones). It makes me feel like there's something fundementally wrong about me...that I'm not good enough, or something else. And now, it's a fear that no one will ever want to be with me...and you know that's not the scary part either...it's the idea of being alone and never being touched and wondering what that does to you, and what kind of person that makes you...that's the scary part.

[musicguy]

I've missed this feeling for 3 years

[doyathink]

No, you're not alone...it's a plague I tell you.

[renaissancewoman101]

I know how you feel. I get lonely too and miss having someone in my life, someone to share that "emotional connection". I have dated in the last year or so, but haven't anything good. Part of me is afraid to find someone though, because sometimes I find it hard to open up and trust, knowing that the relationship could come to an end abruptly.

[KG]

I want to wake up to someone I care about, is that too much to ask?

[renaissancewoman101]

I want to wake up to someone I care about, is that too much to ask?

 

No, it's not. We all want that at times. It's hard not having that.

[musicguy]

No, you're not alone...it's a plague I tell you.

 

I'd cuddle with you

[doyathink]

I'd cuddle with you

 

MG, if I lived close to you....it'd be a date. You're such a caring man....you need to date women older then you...they appreciate the type of kindness that you have to offer.

You lush! lol

[doyathink]

I want to wake up to someone I care about, is that too much to ask?

 

You don't win the lotto by not playing. The hard part is...where do you go to PLAY it. I don't go to bars very often, so my problem is opportunity.

[musicguy]

MG, if I lived close to you....it'd be a date. You're such a caring man....you need to date women older then you...they appreciate the type of kindness that you have to offer.

You lush! lol

awwwww

[annie24]

I want to wake up to someone I care about, is that too much to ask?

 

hey KG - what are you doing to put yourself out there to meet women? are you going out at night, going to singles mixers, etc.....? i think you have to 'take the bull by the horns' and get out there. she's not going to come knocking on your door (unless she is the pizza girl!) i know it is hard because you have a son, but i think it would be great if you joined some kind of activity. what about intermural volleyball or something? i know people who met their SO that way.

[afonselaca]

I'm glad to hear you talk this way. Your bond with your late wife will always be a part of you but you are feeling the tug to allow yourself to live in this moment. Of course you are lonely and miss intimacy but you can find it again. You are wanting to feel loved.

 

I'm telling you it is a quite an interesting dating world out there. Maybe you could consider putting yourself on Match to just test the waters a bit. A coffee here or there wouldn't be a bad way to get a feel for dating.

 

I have heard plenty of stories where the new prospect was uncomfortable with the idea of being compared to the beloved late wife. There are many, many selfish women out there that wouldn't be able to "share" your heart and they would feel competitive. If you can figure out how to root out this type of woman you will be that much ahead of the game.

 

Just saying. Be careful with your heart

[Rammspieler]

I'm just going to copy-paste my reply to a similar topic on another part of ENA.

 

I love how when most people go without sex for months on end it's a crisis. Yet when virgins express the same depression and needs a sexless person is going through they are told to "save it for someone special" even though it could well be a near lifetime if at all before they get the opportunity to have sex. It's cases like this when I think that sometimes people just take something for granted and don't realize that there are others out there that would kill, maim or rape (not in the literal sense but you know what I mean) just to get something that is otherwise taken for granted.

[ghost69]

it sounds more like you want a full on relationship and companionship than sex.

[just M.E.]

I understand the want, need and desire. Even when we yearn for this, the companionship of physical intimacy, don't forget, a bad connection, relationship, can leave you feeling destroyed. As difficult as it is to be without a love partner in life, I believe it is harder to rebuild after a devastating relationship.

 

If I could have understand that (I couldn't, it took the experience to be my teacher), I would not be relearning life after a very damaging divorce.

 

I am sure that doesn't make you feel better, but I have found for me, taking new projects, new hobbies and new interests on, deflects this gnawing need.

 

It seems to come in waves, I survive the waves and wait for the lulls, I keep hoping it will pass.

 

Rammspieler -

One thing I have found is that when a person has been married for a long time in life and their partner taken away from then, it is different than the yearning I felt before knowing that. There is an ever day pattern of intimacy that we crave to recreate and continue to have in our lives. It isn't just the physical, it's the intimacy. Sunday mornings with coffee, sitting facing each other with our legs entwined in each others lap as we read our morning papers and start our day, quiet comfort of my partners company.

Yup, the sex we had the hour before was really wonderful but so is the subtle contacts that come throughout the day.

 

I think that is what KG misses also.

[MilesDyson]

Try match or some other dating sites. those sites that match you based on personality seem to be bull * * * * , (tried chemistry, pretty sure eharmony rejects 1/10 people) Just put yourself out there, and start dating. Hell it worked for me. what the hell do you have to lose, besides some membership fees. lol. just dont expect instant gratification.