teddybear123 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I please my husband. But he is so Addicted to sex and goes to other women. He doesnt have to do that cause i take care of him at home..... Im confused at the point to where i dont know what to do.He is so Addicted to sex and i guess im not enough to please him. I make sure he has a Penetration each and every time with me.And he doesnt see that he has a problem and wont get help.I really love him or i would have left years ago.Im fed up with the cheating, lieing, Drinking, bar rooms and late night outs. People has told me the same thing over and over again ...Your staying with him is only showing him that he can keep getting away with it.... I guess im the stupid wife that thinks hes gona change.But he wont addmit he had a problem and wont even think about getting any sort of help.Im only 43 and he is 54. I was told he gives the women hes cheating with large amounts of cash.He gets younger girls in their 20's and 30's. I dont even know how it feels to be loved and appreciated for who and what i am and stand for.I have never my 25 years of marriage to him have never cheated on him. The thought never crossed my mind.Cause i was so in love with him. But rest asure you Its slowing dying for him inside.I sure wish i could mess his sex drive up for him so i could laugh about it after im gone. Does anyone know anything i could do to destroy his sex drive?????? After all i gave that man the best 25 years of my life...And couldnt even think about ever cheating on him. Now thats what i call Love>Its time for me to move on i know but its so hard cause ive been with him for so long. I just wished he would go get help to save our marriage... I had become afraid that the rages would escalate to physical violence. I am struggling with the idea that I did not give it my all and I am still trying to understand what happened. I need to understand in order to move on. One of the ways that my husband controlled me (I think) was to demand sex at least twice a day. I have always enjoyed sex, I could not keep up the pace. Any time that I declined sex (whether I was tired, didn't feel well, had a broken leg(!), or was just burned out), he stomped, pouted, sighed, etc. Every instance where I declined resulted in a lengthy discussion which usually ended with him shouting, and cursing me out. Calling me names ect...concerned that I didn't love him, would rather be with other men, missed my old boyfriends, etc. None of this was the case. When sex 7 times per week wasn't enough for him, he started complaining that I was a control freak, and that we only had sex when I wanted it. I had to explain to him that this wasn't true, since he had put so much pressure on me to have sex all the time, that I didn't even want it any more! I was only doing it because I didn't want to have the arguments. (Sometimes he would wake me from a sound sleep at 2 am to fight about our "crummy" sex life). And get it from me or die!!!! Forcing sex on me. I finally got to the point where I didn't want to have sex with him because I felt like i was just a woman there for only his needs when he wanted it and he paid no mind to what I wanted or felt. He has not been one single night in 25 years of marriage to him that he went without sex from me. I hate sex now, but I still Satisfy his needs..life for the temper rages to escalate to the point to I have to do something to get out. I'm Open to any and all suggestions. He is driving me off the wall with his addiction to sex. And I found out he has been cheating on me for 20 years with younger women. I also caught him in my bed in the act with another woman 2 years ago. I was dumb and took him back. Now its worst than ever. Im Open to any answers or advise that you could share to maybe help me figure out what to do next....Feel free to email me anytime or send me a private message. Thanks~ Karen Link to comment
rosephase Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 You are enabling this guy because you are too scared to leave him. He is sick and you are making it worse. He doesn’t know he has a problem because you make him feel like he doesn’t. You need to leave for you and for him. There is no reason to be in the relationship. I know you love and care for him, but you have to understand in the long run you are only hurting yourself. He won’t change. You’ve seen that. Now it’s time to take the step away from him. It will be better for both of you. I’m dating a sex addict, but you are married to a sex addict and a self absorbed jerk. It’s the jerk part that is a problem. And the addition won’t even start to have work done for it until he realizes what a jerk he is being. Link to comment
Supa_gurl Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I know it has got to be hard to leave someone you have known basically your whole life. You have made it with him this long and it is a tough decision to make. However, it is not doing you any good to stay and as said above, you are enabling him by staying. he is not seeing the error of his ways because by you being there, he sees it as acceptance. Good luck in doing the right thing. Link to comment
doyathink Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Didn't you have a thread on this last week? You seriously need to leave this creep. He's proved to you he isn't going to stop cheating...and some day (if not already) you'll end up with an STD. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 There is nothing you can do to decrease his sex drive. I think there is more than the sex drive going on here. He has major power issues. The thrill of power and domination over women is driving this train as well. Link to comment
IMAbadman Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Honey you need to move on. This guy sounds like a total case and has no respect for you and your wellbeing. Link to comment
greywolf Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 hmmm... didn't you post this before? Well, my answer is the same. Leave him. Link to comment
Jen5283 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Aren't you afraid that you are going to get an STD if you haven't already? Isn't it painful for you to know that your husband treats you like an object to satisfy his urges? Like all the others have said, he will not change. This is who he is. There is nothing you can do, because it's not your problem. Link to comment
dystopiandream Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Why haven't you left him yet? Love isn't enough to keep a relationship going. An individual deserves respect, honesty and loyalty. At least that's what it sounds like you're looking for and you certainly aren't getting it from him. It sounds to me like your self esteem has taken a battering otherwise you wouldn't have put up with this type of behaviour. Having a high sex drive is no excuse for what he's doing if he's getting it at home. Leave him is the only answer. He is obviously unwilling to change or recognise that he has a problem. This tells you one thing, he doesn't love you in the way you deserve. Link to comment
grymoire Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I really think the OP is making this up.... This is like the third thread she has started about the same topic... Link to comment
ManAbout Posted July 1, 2008 Share Posted July 1, 2008 I really think the OP is making this up.... This is like the third thread she has started about the same topic... I agree.. there is just something that doesnt seem right about this poster. Link to comment
teddybear123 Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 I really think the OP is making this up.... This is like the third thread she has started about the same topic... Im not making this up! I only post on here to get advice. Maybe something someone replys to my post will help me to cope, or just to understand Etc.....I would never waist my time on here posting for advice just for kicks. Im not a kid im an adult and need some answers that may help me.If you dont like reading what i write then dont read mine at all if thats the way you feel. I think you need to start you own thread reading the headline* I like to make people feel like crap* Link to comment
teddybear123 Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 Aren't you afraid that you are going to get an STD if you haven't already? Isn't it painful for you to know that your husband treats you like an object to satisfy his urges? Like all the others have said, he will not change. This is who he is. There is nothing you can do, because it's not your problem. Yes its very painful and yes im scared of catching something from him. Ive already got my mind made up to leave him.Thank you all For all the advice you have given me.Im no man doormat and im gona start living for myself. Link to comment
teddybear123 Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 I agree.. there is just something that doesnt seem right about this poster. Dont judge me you dont even know me. Link to comment
teddybear123 Posted July 2, 2008 Author Share Posted July 2, 2008 I really think the OP is making this up.... This is like the third thread she has started about the same topic... Dont state that im a poster. You dont know me. Try to start being nice for starters. Have a good week. Link to comment
grymoire Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 Dont state that im a poster. You dont know me. Try to start being nice for starters. Have a good week. It is not my intention to hurt you.... I told what I felt. That is all. If your situation is true then yes you really need to end the pain and leave the relationship. I remember that your husband cheated on you 67 times. That is a LOT! Even if you don't want to leave for emotional reasons you need to leave for physical reasons. There is a high chance that you may contract some unwanted disease (STDs). And then you would have the physical pain on top of the excruciating emotional pain. Be wise, pack your bags and say goodbye. Link to comment
greywolf Posted July 3, 2008 Share Posted July 3, 2008 Im not making this up! I only post on here to get advice. Maybe something someone replys to my post will help me to cope, or just to understand Etc.....I would never waist my time on here posting for advice just for kicks. Im not a kid im an adult and need some answers that may help me.If you dont like reading what i write then dont read mine at all if thats the way you feel. I think you need to start you own thread reading the headline* I like to make people feel like crap* People aren't trying to be mean. They are just suspicious because you have posted this 2 or 3 times already. And you got the same advice each time. Link to comment
cavem4n Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 The People have spoken! If we were voting someone off the island, I think it would be your guy. Dear, you know what to do. The question you need to ask yourself is which moving company should you be using. You are better than that and you know it. Good luck, let me know if you need some recommendations on thos moving companies. Link to comment
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