traeh Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 When I'm inside my house with no distractions (tv, internet, etc) and I take a look in the mirror.. I feel beautiful. I know I am an attractive person. I'm thin, healthy, smart, and kind. However, when I leave the house or watch movies... I always find myself comparing myself to other women and I feel completely and utterly ugly. When I'm out with a guy or watching a movie with a guy, I feel even worse. I feel worthless. How can I stop the self-deprecation and improve my body image? Please don't sugarcoat your advice .. just give it to me straight. Link to comment
darkplace Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 concentrate on the guys not the women! you are happy with yourself and your confident about that so the other women out there have serious competion i bet half of them dont feel as good about themselves as you do. if you love yourself, then no one around you can make you feel any less right?! i mean i see a blond thin girl when im out for a movie, i think shes so pretty, then i think i love my ass! lol Link to comment
serena99 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 I just wanted to post a similar post! I feel ugly too, well I don't hate my face, but I hate my body, it is driving me crazy, don't know what I can do about it Link to comment
darkplace Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 join a club sport like i just joined a capoeira class and it is doing wonders for my legs and arms we all hate aspects of ourselves but we can change them. it feels good while your improving your body when training you can meet lots of fit guys Link to comment
serena99 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 join a club sport like i just joined a capoeira class and it is doing wonders for my legs and arms we all hate aspects of ourselves but we can change them. it feels good while your improving your body when training you can meet lots of fit guys yes, but there are some stuff we can't change about ourselves like the skin type, this is the sad part Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 do you workout? maybe this will help your self-esteem. Link to comment
traeh Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 Yes I workout. I know I have an enviable body too. I just am very insecure and I want to stop this negative thought pattern that has corrupted my mind over the last few years... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Yes I workout. I know I have an enviable body too. I just am very insecure and I want to stop this negative thought pattern that has corrupted my mind over the last few years... what would help you? more attention from guys? Link to comment
traeh Posted June 30, 2008 Author Share Posted June 30, 2008 No. I need a way to develop more confidence in myself so that I stop comparing myself to others and stop criticizing the way I am. The only time I become self-critical is when I read magazines, watch movies, and/or go out. I find beauty everywhere, and then I belittle myself and become 'worthless' in my head. Link to comment
anna0511 Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 No. I need a way to develop more confidence in myself so that I stop comparing myself to others and stop criticizing the way I am. The only time I become self-critical is when I read magazines, watch movies, and/or go out. I find beauty everywhere, and then I belittle myself and become 'worthless' in my head. I just wanted to say that I'm EXACTLY the same. I know that I'm attractive, everybody tells me so and I get a lot of attention from guys. But when I compare myself to others, I become very insecure and self-critical. It's a little bit sad and nothing I do seems to make it any better. I definetly need more confidence but I don't know how to develop it. Link to comment
crosstownTraffic Posted June 30, 2008 Share Posted June 30, 2008 Well, tell me what is this and where does one join? "just joined a capoeira class" I love to move around alot too, I need to get back into a biking club.. I'm so missing my biking routine.... You know. I don't inherently think I'm ugly either. I think I'm attractive and have attracted some really good looking bf's. but I think the media has this very limited set of "beauty" standards and if you don't fall into that small scope of their ideal beauty it is easy to feel ugly in today's society. And the guy feed into this too and make us feel worse.. Like we are supposed to be "absolutely perfect" or we dont' rate.. or we have to have str8 stick hair... baby blue eyes, no waist, or a tiny waist... no flaws.. a tiny upturned nose... you know the drill. the thing is.. we are all different and beautiful in our own way. I think our society has become so shallow and plastic it is criminal. Look at these little 8-10 year old girls who think they are "fat" now. And all these people who think that if you are not a size 0-4, then you are fat! It's just stupid... and what is worse.. how much effort does the average guy put into making himself look great?? not to say that alot of guys dont' put in the effort, but I'd have to say the average guy does not.. and why should he? His clothes are so baggy they are practically falling off his keister....his hair, if it has any length to it.. is either spiked up like a martian... or some other weird hair style. It's almost funny how casual the average guy is allowed to look and no one says a thing, but how many standards of perfection we women have to live up to, to even be considered pretty at all! I say let's start a revolution... us woman and to heck with the fashion industry.... They've made milllions off of us, feeding on our insecurities, that they helped create. Later for this nonsense, I can barely afford to pay my basic bills in this horrible economy, let alone afford a weekly manicure & pedicure and all the rest of the crap! Link to comment
WlknCntrdiction Posted July 2, 2008 Share Posted July 2, 2008 I think exactly the same thing, and I'm a guy lol, there's way too much emphasis on being "perfect". My ex would always go on about how she didn't look good without eye shadow or having her hair straightened or a ton of other crap, I would always tell her she looked fine the way she did, ironically I thought she looked most beautiful when she had just woken up, though she always hurried to "glam up" if I caught her like that lol. I used to have self confidence issues about my body too and was always thinking of what people thought but I changed that last year, I began working out whilst on holiday and became huge, my friends didn't recognise me when I got back, that's how much I had changed and I felt great about myself and my body image. I've started working out again now because I've got 3 months off until the start of my uni course. I still do compare myself to other people but it's not "He looks great I'll never look like him", it's "Wow, he looks great, that's my next step", once I got it into my head that there are people "better" than me in every respect of life then I stopped being so self critical of myself and started doing something about it. I always make it my mission to tell women that they look beautiful, every woman is beautiful in their own way and not alot of people respect that or see that. So next time you say to yourself mentally "Does my bum look big in this?", I'm telling you yes, yes it does, work with it girl, be proud of your J-lo ass Link to comment
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