I am not sure if this is a relationship conflict, or a dating question.

[bhgurlzfoevabrin]

Please help. Okay,

 

I knew Shane for over a year. He liked me, but I did not see the signals. He was also having a hard time, so he did not ask me out.

 

I see him again at the end of school. He likes talking. He contacts me online. He says he was totally glad to see me. He asks to hang out. He initiates everything.

 

We hang out. He talks about the future, he compliments me, he acts stoked, and he introduces me to his family and friends.

 

He still initiates contact, but tells me I can call him any time too. We go out five or six times, but each time is a separate weekend. We do not really go out during the week, but I do not think he goes out during week days.

 

When I finally considered it a relationship instead of just dating was when we started talking in between dates, a week or two ago. We would go out on the weekend for 6 hours maybe, usually late and into the next day, and talk every other day or so for an hour.

 

Now last weekend we had plans, they did not work out. He had an excuse. I bought it. This weekend, he wanted to do something but the day we were supposed to, he never called even though he said he would. I called, he did not answer. This happened in the beginning and I brushed it off because he acted like he never saw the calls, but it only happened once the first week. The next, he missed two of my calls but called back and apologized. Now he missed all of them and never called back. I feel like crap because of the mixed signals.

 

The weird thing is, he never gave me a sign he did not want to see me anymore. Last time we talked he was still stoked about future plans. His excuses do not always make sense, but they usually do. He mixed up plans from the very beginning because on our first official date, he asked me on a date two days from then during that first initial date, but never called til the day after the day he was supposed to, then we went out that day. He had an excuse that time and I bought it.

[bhgurlzfoevabrin]

I even talked to him about this and he agreed he should let me know instead of missing my calls or calling late, so last weekend when it was canceled he called early to let me know. His excuse was okay. Now I have not heard from him for two or three days even though he said he would call and I thought we had plans, enough to turn down other plans that came up.

 

The thing is, last time we talked, he acted excited about this weekend, was nice (asked me questions like he wanted to talk, and listened), talked about doing things, and he always talks for a long time and acts like he wants to keep talking. He gives me so many signs he totally wants to keep dating and even have a relationship. Are some guys just this dumb about not breaking the truth to you that they would go way way way out of their way to make you think they totally are crazy about you and still want to date totally bad, but then at the same time they miss your calls? Then they have an excuse or act like they did not know they missed your calls, and ask you out again??? Even though they said they would call, and even suggested plans for that day where you would think you are doing something with them?

[keenan]

IAre some guys just this dumb about not breaking the truth to you that they would go way way way out of their way to make you think they totally are crazy about you and still want to date totally bad, but then at the same time they miss your calls? Then they have an excuse or act like they did not know they missed your calls, and ask you out again???

 

Yes. Some guys are very afraid to hurt you and make you cry, so they'll back slowly out of the room while continuing to nod and smile to your face. When they finally reach the door, they turn and run. Sometimes they'll hope that you get tired of their slow back-off and just end it first.

 

I'm sorry. I don't know for sure that this is what your guy is doing, but your description sure fits the pattern. Consistently not returning your calls is a big deal.