Not Interested In Sex With Him Anymore

[carrickfergus]

I have been flirting with a man I met recently at the supermarket through IMs. I have been really interested in having sex with him, and not a relationship. But I found he was married and he had a child, though he says they are separated. I am not a home wrecker! I would be interested in any help for a polite way to say "Goodbye douchebag!"

 

I feel like I've been leading him on, but that is one of my deal breakers. Is that wrong?

[hers]

No it's not wrong. Say "I'm sorry for misleading you, but I do not want to be involved with someone in your home situation"

[Samedy]

If you see him at the Supermarket, then just avoid him.. go at different times..

 

It isn't a relationship anyways...

[JeckyllNHyde]

I think HE was leading YOU on to be honest.

 

I would say "I think it's best we leave things the way they are. I seem to have my plate too full with work, etc. All the best to you."

[DN]

Well, before you blackguard him completely perhaps it would be wise to find out the truth. Plenty of people are separated awaiting a divorce and date while waiting.

[elizmdavis]

It was just a supermarket encounter, you owe him nothing. Let it go, just stop cold turkey.

[southerngirl]

Just because he is going through a divorce, that does not automatically make him a bad person.

 

Maybe just be honest with him and tell him what you put here.

 

That you are not a home wrecker, and that you are not comfortable being in a dating relationship with him until his divorce is finalized.

 

If you already did like him, and he was honest about his situation... Stay friends with him, if nothing else you could have a new friend without getting emotionally tied to him.

[carrickfergus]

He was upfront about it, I will say that. He says she has left the house with their child for half a year, but he has NOT filed for a divorce!

[annie24]

personally, i would not feel comfortable dating a man in this situation. i would move on, especially since you have minimal investment. i would tell him just that.

 

is there a reason he hasn't filed for divorce yet?

[carrickfergus]

I didn't ask. I was in shock, Annie. I don't particularly care why he hasn't, but the crux is he hasn't filed. He is still technically married. I have to repeat myself here, I am not a home wrecker! What woman wants another woman (who is not emotionally attached) to have sex with her husband when they may be trying to reconcile... and not to mention the child!

[Taomagicdragon]

Well, before you blackguard him completely perhaps it would be wise to find out the truth. Plenty of people are separated awaiting a divorce and date while waiting.

 

I'm mixed about being with a separated person. For one it does kinda mean the relationship between the two is pretty much over but in all technicality it isn't and the possibility of them getting back together is existent. Not to mention she is exposing herself to more drama than is fair for a supermarket meeting.

[DN]

I'm mixed about being with a separated person. For one it does kinda mean the relationship between the two is pretty much over but in all technicality it isn't and the possibility of them getting back together is existent. Not to mention she is exposing herself to more drama than is fair for a supermarket meeting.

People who have been divorced get back together.

 

I know that some people think that separated means still married and technically it does. But many people exit a marriage emotionally long before a separation and divorce and, IMO, that is the key. If you are emotionally detached from someone then the relationship is done with even if the legal marriage is not yet officially over. In terms of forming a new relationship it is the emotional aspect that is more important.

 

But in this case , the OP doen't want an emotional relationship - just sex. It is for her to decide if it against her principles to have sex with a man who is still legally married.